'Big Love' recap: Bridge over troubled waters

Brr, it’s cold, isn’t it? As we continue through the second half of the season and the rift within the family became more and more pronounced, it’s as if a bleak chill has descended upon the households and settled into their very being.

Though to be fair, it wasn’t all just frigidity and ice in this hour. This episode had its share of fiery arguments and started off with some good old-fashioned body heat (something we haven’t seen in a while). And for a second there, I thought Barb and Bill had second thoughts about their decision to split.

But no, even though the couple clearly hits it off, Bill and Barb are still going through with their split decision. While they both insisted that the dissolution of their marriage is just on paper only, their words, actions and the episode’s title, “D.I.V.O.R.C.E.,” implied there was more to the decision than what lay on the surface. And the ominous feeling of doom is getting harder and harder to shake.

The show continued to explore the divide between modern women’s beliefs and a patriarchal society. Barb enlisted the help of women’s priesthood advocate Renee Clayton (Judith Ivey), who told her that polygamist women were the first feminists, and polygamy helped get women out of rigid Victorian constraints. This emboldened the first wife to continue to take an active stand for what she believed, even refusing to partake in the sacrament at church. Barb felt she’d been given the priesthood and wanted her own front-and-center place in Bill’s church plan (“I think she’s gone off the reservation,” Nicki said, putting in her two cents). Bill, steeped in tradition, can’t step beyond the boundaries of what he felt was divinely granted to grant her what she wanted. (Barb’s mom, Nancy, thought her daughter was batting for the other team: “Look me in the eye — are you and Renee Clayton being lesbians together?”)

Ultimately, it’s this division that is tearing them apart. Barb and Bill’s marriage worked because Barb put Bill before herself, bolstered him up and deferred to his judgment. But now that Barb cancelled her subscription to the Bill Henrickson Principle, there’s a real chance of this family falling apart. The Principle is the foundation the family was built on. Barb separating herself from it caused a fracture in the family community (what’s the point of communion when not everyone takes it?). Thing are looking grim and bleak. The world Barb helped Bill build is crumbling, just as the LDS protests are crumbling Bill’s Home Plus store plan. Bill has lost his Girl Friday, and increasingly both he and Barb stand more and more alone the more stridently they adhere to their beliefs.  

“A marriage always changes and evolves,” Bill reasoned to Margie. Still, he admitted to Barb that this is the first time he’s really worried about their relationship. Without a shared faith, this paper divorce was starting to feel all too real. “Barb, I can be moved to make many compromises,” Bill began. But allowing a woman the priesthood “is one thing I just will not do.” Barb also refused to budge in this schism: “Then I can’t go to your church anymore.” 

Ouch. Divorce is painful, folks, no matter how much one tries to sugarcoat it. Margie, a child of a split herself, knows that firsthand, and (rightly) worried that this separation will come to no good end. Perhaps that’s why she concocted escapist fantasies about Mr. Goji Blast himself, Michael Sainte, and enlisted his support for a rally for children of polygamist families.

Nor did it sit well with Ben. “Divorce doesn’t happen in a marriage — it ends a marriage,” the eldest son said as he handed out printouts on problem solving to his parents. Apparently to Ben, being married makes everything OK. It gives women definition, no matter if they came with a dumpster’s worth of baggage, haven’t seen their husbands in days and work as hostesses at some joint called the Golden Fleece. The wannabe Navy man had been acting as surrogate husband for Rhonda — proffering her a hamburger when she asked for French fries, giving her rides — while Verlan was off at the Big House doing Alby’s bidding. But while Heather (who we learned was apparently betrothed to someone else at BYU) called Rhonda a “dead-end kid” who wouldn’t live to see 20, Ben's eyes were glazed over by the gloss of matrimony. “She’s going to be OK,” he said confidently. “She has a life. She has a husband. They have each other.” Thus it was with slack-jawed disbelief (and growing lust?) that Ben saw that “hostess” meant little stripper/singer from the prairie. Rhonda wasn’t saved from being an exotic dancer after all. And perhaps it was with a sad combination of pity/desire/need to save her that he approached her from behind and rescued her abruptly in a passionate embrace.

So Ben discovered that a marriage does not necessarily make everything sacred, or ensure one’s happiness. It was interesting to see the idea of happiness, and what constituted happiness, come into play in this hour. Nancy wondered why Barb couldn’t just leave everything well enough alone and be happy with her houses and children. Cara Lynn found happiness in someone whom she thought could protect and take care of her. Nicki said she was happy finally getting the coveted front-and-center spot she deserved.

But does getting what you want really make you happy? Well, certainly not when a prenuptial agreement is thrown your way. Barb wanted the priesthood but was unwilling to relinquish her role in the family, so she asked Bill if she could continue to stay in charge of the finances. Bill, after a small waver, thought that this concession would help restless Barb be happy and keep them together. But nobody brought it up with Nicki, who understandably balked at this amendment. The prenup undermined her position as the one and only wife. “Right now I want to punch you in the face,” Nicki fumed to Barb.

But Bill, unwilling to give up any more of his connection to Barb, took Barb’s side. “Barb relinquishes nothing,” he stated to Nicki firmly. So bravo to Nicki for telling it like it was. “You’re doing this because you’re afraid of losing her, and you’re taking it out on me,” she declared. “It isn’t fair, Bill, and you know it.” There have been theories that the series will end with Barb and Marg leaving the family and with Bill alone with Nicki at Juniper Creek. But if Bill continues to blatantly treat Nicki like second-class wife, who knows how long she’ll stick around as well?

So the divorce proceedings are still going through. And Cara Lynn is really going through with her hot-for-teacher affair, which apparently has made its way over into the fast lane (poor Gary Embry got unceremoniously dumped to the kids’ table, relegated to one small line supporting Margie’s rally). So yeah, they kissed, but did Mr. Ivey really just say he was falling in love with her? What the what? This whole story line seems a little quick and hard to swallow, especially now that Nicki “call me Nicolette” Grant has started to make googly eyes at him as well.

What else? Oh, the state Senate has declared an edict against the Henricksons again, as the impeach Bill Henrickson bill was formally introduced, and Bill continued his Sisyphean task of speaking out in an environment that would rather not hear him. The LDS has also started staging protests outside Home Plus stores that threaten to put them out of business, and issued a statement basically declaring open season on the family. 

So has Alby. The underutilized Bud Mayberry made a blink-and-you’ll-miss it appearance to warn Bill that Alby and his new “Purity Campaign” and “moral toil” were trying to get the other polygamists to sever their cooperation with the state and with Bill. He also tipped off that Bill has a target on his back.

Hardened Alby continued to use dim bulb Verlan to fulfill his needs, vowing to fix his “natural inbred deficiencies” while simultaneously cheapening him and stringing him along with $50 bills. “Even a fool can be useful to a man who knows how to use him well,” Alby declared. “Go to your room.” 

In other news, Bill is trying to do right by his mother and asked Frank to take Lois in. “She’s forgiven you, and determined to be here,” Bill said. And it was another chapter in the twisted love-hate relationship between Frank and Lois, one that involved knives and old radio shows and a trip to the ocean. Lois, unwilling to be put in a home, had Frank promise to put her out of her misery when she lost herself for more than two days. “We’re all we got,” she said. “We’ve got to be able to count on each other.” Like Cisco and Poncho, she and Frank would just gallop away together into the sunset. “I didn’t say that it was great,” Lois stated. “I just said that’s how it ended.”

Ultimately, as the snows continued to come down, we saw folks coupling up to a sad version of “Bridge Over Troubled Water” (“What is this ‘Bridge Over Troubled Water’?” Nicki asked. “It’s about reaching out from loneliness,” Margie explained). Cara Lynn sought shelter from the cold from Mr. Ivey; Ben and Rhonda headed off to parts unknown hand in hand after they kissed; Lois and Frank drove wordlessly together into the dark road ahead (“Oh, Poncho!” “Oh, Cisco!”). The only one alone in the montage was Bill, proudly putting up the sign to his church on the window of the storefront, and then admiring it from the outside.

What do you think? Will Bill’s unwillingness to waver on his Principle leave him with nothing but a sign and a storefront when all is said and done? Team Bill, Team Barb or Team Nicki? Do you think Rhonda’ll live to see 20? “Lesbian pioneers, Barb?” Is there any chance that this family will end this intact? Discuss below, but let’s keep the same rules as at Disneyland: Be aware, be alert. That’s all.

—Allyssa Lee

Related:

‘Big Love’ recap: Breaking up is hard to do

‘Big Love’ recap: Lying for the Lord

Complete ‘Big Love’ coverage on Show Tracker

Photo credits: Isabella Vosmikova / HBO

 

Comments

[ess tee]

The dichotomy/binary opposition between "modern women’s beliefs and a patriarchal society" (as identified by this blog? the good writers @ HBO?) feels false in so much as it is not solely about Barb cancelling "her subscription to the Bill Henrickson Principle" . In fact, most major churches (except perhaps the Anglican/Episcopalian church), synagogues, and mosques do not grant women their analogous priesthood offices. (Not saying that it's right folks--it isn't!--just pointing out that many modern women in fact are not in open dissent with the crushing spiritual millstones/principles of contemporary patriarchy.) Also, Barb's calling seems a little staged, or trivial, when lumped in with her wine tasting experiments. And will she take more husbands, and look to bring more souls into the world for heavenly father now that she is a priesthood holder? OK, scratch the last one--she can't get pregnant (cause of her earlier bouts with cancer). Anyway, I predict Bill caves (prompted by revelation) and (newly-minted) priest Barb stays.

[G-Roll]

"Will Bill’s unwillingness to waver on his Principle leave him with nothing but a sign and a storefront when all is said and done?"

Bill might get away with Nicky by the series finale but Margie won’t be married to either without Barb as she expressed in ‘The Special Relationship”. Barb is too close to the mother Marge never had for the latter to stand by Bill while Nicky represents them as the first wife in their marriage.

This could mean that there’s a good chance Bill will lose a lot of the essential elements that have allowed him to be who he is as a man. The kids will go with their respective mothers and with it, Bill’s ability to be a good father. His ability to be a good husband relied heavily on the fact that he had three wives who perfectly complemented him: Barbara is his partner and coordinator, Nicolette is his homemaker and foot soldier while Margene is his lover and cheerleader. Without the support of his wives and children, he’ll automatically lose his ability to call himself a Mormon Polygamist and from their will likely lose the constitution to be a good businessman and politician.

However, as stated, Nicky will likely stay because its what she thinks she's always wanted but will find her marriage hollow. She’ll realize that having Bill to herself isn’t the same as having a controlling influence in the lives of her husband AND sister wives. In fact, one could make the argument that Nicky’s desire to have control over Bill is actually just a thinly masked lust for control over Barb. Outside of her scheming, she only ever contends with Bill on issues concerning Barb and it because she’s a schemer that watching Barb bend to her manipulations is so important to her happiness.

"Team Bill ?"

Yes and No. I’ve always liked Bill because, at the end of the day, he has a noble heart. His desire to spare future polygamists from the pitfalls of unregulated and criminalized plural marriage is a good thing. That said, his righteousness has always caused his wives, children, friends and business partners to pay higher prices for his vision than he has. He’s the Charles Foster Kane of this series and his single-mindedness, while a formidable trait, will lead him to significant suffering.

"Team Barb or Team Nicki?"

Team Barb. She’s selfless and progressive but, as the most level headed person in her family, it was her job to restrain Bill’s ambitions and secure a livable status quo years ago. Sure, its more interesting for us as viewers if she fails to keep her husband from provoking their enemies and tempting fate but it’s still tragic how it seems this show is going to end. In actuality, she could have learned a thing from Nicky’s conniving over the years. She’d have never fumbled tanking Bill’s election the way Barb did in season 4.

No, I don’t have the highest regard for Chloe Sevigny’s character on the show. Why? Nicolette Grant is dedicated to her family but she’s ruthless, devious and power hungry. She’s loyal to Bill, Barb and Marge because they’ve raised each other’s children and because she’s devout in her beliefs as a Mormon Polygamist but her passion isn’t the love she shares with any of them.

"Do you think Rhonda’ll live to see 20?"

Yes but at Ben’s expense. Rhonda is easily a sociopath on the level of Roman, Alby and JJ. She’s going to get her hooks in him and its not going to be pretty.

“Is there any chance that this family will end this intact? "

Maybe. It depends on who is making the compromises. Barb seems done making them and Nicky is too close to being Queen Bee to make any concessions. There isn’t really much Margene can do in order to sate the personal and emotional appetites of the ego’s of either of them and Bill seems dumbfounded by how increasingly disfigured his family is becoming.

IMO, Ben and/or Cara Lynn are the sacrificial lambs that reunite the family. Verlan has to kill one or both of them in order for their parents to come together again.

[Flavia]

Ahh, Bill's Disneyland line was one of the very few (or only) spots of humor this season.

Does anyone else find the score intrusive and ham-handedly foreshadowy?

I don't really care about Nikki's rights in the family. Bill giving her charge of the money (and power that goes with it) would be self-immolating given her track record. Although, it's been two seasons of increasingly irrational decisions from him so I suppose he might as well.

[harpo2]

Very interesting storylines and the plot moves forward with speed and plot twists. But, many of us are so sick of that angry, mean, and totally unlikable character, Nikki. She is too unbelievable as a second choice for a man like Bill and don't understand what she has that can override that miserable disposition!

[Noel T]

At this point it would just seem ridiculous that the family could stay together the same way they have been...but at the same token, the fans have grown to love this family so much that it would be just as ridiculous to break them apart for the series finale. Seems to me that the only way to wrap up this whole series in 4 more episodes is if one of the main characters dies. Perhaps Bill - is that why they've been steering Bill in the direction of his own Celestial calling this whole time? So that Barb can take over as Priesthood Holder for the family once Bill has been killed? Or, perhaps Barb - will her cancer recur and take her life, making Nicki's new position as First Wife make more sense in the big picture?

[Belle]

I really hope Barb backbone gets stronger and leaves Bill in the dust. She is not LDS or anything else but joins a non-denominational church and is perfectly happy. Goes the same for Margie but she finally grows up and realizes what a mess she has created being the 3rd wife and leaves Bill. Or Margie's age at time of her "marriage" comes public. Nikki finally becomes the first wife and realizes be careful what you wish for. She stays but is completely miserable because she is lonely. As for Ben, I think he is not exactly the brightest bulb either and Rhonda sees that. Rhonda is turning into the female Alby.

[Laurel]

Team Nicki, all the way. Nicki is the by far the most interesting character in the series, always has been, for me at least. Unfortunately, once her former marriage and daughter were revealed it provided the viewers with the answers to the "why does she act this way" question. The mystery as to what really happened to her, beside the obvious childhood on the comp0und, to make her become the person we see was part of the fun, ie. the speculation. Although Season 3 was exceptional, perhaps the creators gave us too much, too soon, with regard to Nicki. They seem to have little use for her in Season 4 and 5, and not much idea where to send her story-wise, and that's a shame, because Chloe Sevigny always knocks it out of the park.

[D-C]

Telling it like it is? Being the legal wife doesn't mean that you get to take care of the finances...being the FIRST wife does. AND Nikki has the worst track record ever - get out of here it isn't fair. I'm so tired of her ways...honestly, she has almost broken up the family how many times now? TEAM BARB.