‘The Bachelor’ recap: Some women go a little batty
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Hola.
It’s one little word that will continue to haunt me for the rest of the week, after Michelle decided to sneak into Brad’s room off-hours, suddenly emerging in his dark doorway and creepily uttering the greeting.
It always baffles me when contestants on the show decide to make up their own rules, choosing to visit the Bachelor/Bachelorette whenever they so choose. (Remember Justin the wrestler on Ali’s season, awkwardly hobbling over to her house on his crutches?)
Well, scratch that -- I don’t find the impulse confusing, because it’s a smart move to get in some extra time -- but I’m more bothered by the fact that the producers let contestants get away with an extra visit. Shouldn’t there be some sort of punishment? Otherwise, who’s to stop all of the players from creating impromptu dates on a whim?
In Michelle’s case, I initially thought the sneakiness had backfired. Brad didn’t appear happy to see her whatsoever -- he just looked shocked, and said he was worried the secret visit would get him in trouble. Michelle somehow didn’t pick up Brad’s discomfort and proceeded to instruct him on which girls he should eliminate yet. I see what’s she’s trying to do here: it’s that I’m-so-beautiful-I-can-control-you thing really sexy women are often able to pull off. Even though she’s actually insecure and mildly psychotic, Michelle says the crazy things she’s feeling and then tries to pass them off as a joke by giggling coyly.
For once, Brad didn’t seem to be buying it. At the cocktail hour the following evening, he told Michelle she’d scared him ‘badly,’ urging her to trust that he was making the right decisions on his own about which women to keep. Michelle then displayed a truly astounding lack of self-awareness, insisted Brad had goaded her into talking about the others behind their backs. Really, girl? That’s how you’re going to play it? I wish we’d been able to roll the tape back, so Brad could have had a refresher on Michelle’s blatant lies. Not that that would have likely made a difference. How crazy does Michelle have to get before Brad will stop overlooking her poor behavior just because she’s physically stunning?
Oy. In another unsurprising turn of events, Brad seemed ill-equipped to deal with this week’s emotional confession from Chantal O, who admitted she had already fallen in love with him. While Chantal has quickly emerged as my favorite -- she’s down for whatever, isn’t a waif, and seems genuine in her affection for Brad -- I wish she hadn’t dropped the l-bomb so soon. Sure, this is ‘The Bachelor,’ and the whole falling-in-love process is sped up massively, but saying ‘I love you’ after only two one-on-one dates seemed especially premature. No ‘Bachelor’ or ‘Bachelorette’ is ever able to reciprocate the coveted three words until the final episode, so it’s unclear if Brad’s feelings for Chantal were mutual. But he didn’t act touched when Chantal admitted she’d fallen for him.
And that was one of the more real interactions on the show this week, which was filled with a slew of awkward moments: Brad urging Jackie to repel down the waterfall when he was clearly over her, Emily admitting she sabotages relationships and then diving into the water to avoid discussing the topic further. But that date with Alli really took the cake.
First of all, horrible date choice. I don’t care how adventurous a girl is, walking through a dark cave with bats fluttering around your head and then having a ‘picnic’ on a soaking wet blanket on a cold rock is no one’s ideal date. But things only got worse when the pair went to dinner, where Alli seemed completely oblivious to the fact that there was no chemistry between she and Brad. I cringed when she started telling Brad how she dumped her last boyfriend because she couldn’t see standing next to him at the altar, and Brad followed by saying that was the way he actually felt about her. Brutal.
In any case, I’m glad we’re finally getting to the point in the season where Brad is axing girls who he’s never had any connection with. Things I’m hoping we’ll see next week in Anguilla? Less of Brad’s hideous back tattoo, and more of him seeing Michelle’s true colors.
--Amy Kaufman
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