'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' recap: More Armageddon than season finale
With each passing week, it’s seemed as though I’ve lost a little bit more of my humanity watching the “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.” When the inaugural season of the Beverly Hills crew started, these women were caricatures of all that we knew, and made fun of, in the 90210. They were animatronic stick figures with dyed blond hair, botox appointments, rich husbands and tiny dogs as accessories. It was fun to laugh at them, to scoff at how out of touch they were, to take some solace to know in these austere times that these rich ladies led such hollow lives.
But then they had to go and become human.
That’s the only reason why I imagine some of these people would opt to do reality television. The whole world can see them as narcissists, as off the wall, as people with countless issues. But they are people.
It can be cute to see Adrienne and her husband, Dr. Paul, bicker and bicker about every little thing. Ah, rich people quibble, too! There have been heartwarming scenes, and there have been innocently entertaining “Cosby Show” kind of moments.
The rest, however, is like watching a train wreck of drama. A few of the housewives had been on a collision course this season, and Thursday night’s finale was the point of impact.
We saw Camille blab adnauseum about how sweet it is being Kelsey Grammer’s wife — having all those houses, having two nannies per child and having a surrogate to give birth to those children for her (her body is a temple, and apparently no children are allowed).
It shows what humdinger this season has been that I’ve come around to defend poor Camille. She spent the bulk of the season being absolutely dreadful, manufacturing slights against her, stirring up drama and then continuing to play the victim. She surrounds herself with suck-ups, paid-for friends and phony “mediums.” And she was far too chummy with Married Man Nick.
Yet she was a victim, nonetheless.
Kelsey did her wrong. She went to her New York apartment — yes, the 3,000-some-odd-sq.-ft. one that she called too confining — only for the doorman to say that she wasn’t the Real Mrs. Grammer. Another woman was living in her apartment. Not cool, Kelsey.
The Catholic in me, of course, would love to say they should steer clear of divorce. I have to advise against that in this case: Camille, hire a good attorney and get what’s yours! Anytime anyone hears Kelsey Grammer sing of “tossed salad and scrambled eggs,” a chunk of “Frasier” money should be landing in her bank account.
Speaking of scrambled — what a night! The night took a perverse turn at Taylor’s birthday party. Her husband, Russell the Robot, downloaded a program that attempts to calculate human emotion and decided to throw her an awesome birthday party. Unfortunately, the inability to emote is what always holds the robot back in the end — those two are just painful to watch.
It was all downhill from there. Kim Richards has a spat with Taylor at her own birthday party (oy!). She semi-coherently tries to make her case that Taylor inspired some of the Great Kyle Richards/Camille Grammer Feud of the season (and I do think Taylor has some fault in fanning the flames, if not relighting them). That, then, turns into Kim doing this pale, hardly understandable rip-off of the Camille playbook: she’s a victim, she’s being attacked — poor, poor pitiful me. Oh, and she was a child actress, too — which more than a quarter century later has her wiring all messed up.
That devolves into the 15 most disgustingly tantalizing minutes in reality television: the testy, but seemingly loving relationship between Kim and Kyle Richards explodes. Kyle shouts that Kim, who has always struck us as off her rocker, is an alcoholic. [Updated at 11 a.m.: An earlier version of this post left out the fact that it was Kyle who accused Kim of a drinking problem.]
In the process, we see more of Adrienne than we’ve seen of her since she took the girls to Sacramento earlier in the season. She’s trying to play peacemaker, and is apparently so rich that she grows gold strands of hair.
As the episode came to a close, we learned that Lisa Vanderpump and Permanent Houseguest Cedric (who’s not just a leach, but a 37-year-old leach!) had a massive blowup when he moved out. Kim and Kyle still aren’t talking, and Kim failed in her attempt to rehab.
It’s like there’s an angel on one shoulder depressed at watching these lives, and families, disintegrate in a fishbowl. On the other, is a little imp — he’s on the edge of his seat, mouth ajar, thinking the “explosive” reunion next week will be the best birthday present ever.
Kelsey did her wrong. She went to her New York apartment — yes, the 3,000-some-odd-sq.-ft. one that she called too confining — only for the doorman to say that she wasn’t the Real Mrs. Grammer. Another woman was living in her apartment. Not cool, Kelsey.
The Catholic in me, of course, would love to say they should steer clear of divorce. I have to advise against that in this case: Camille, hire a good attorney and get what’s yours! Anytime anyone hears Kelsey Grammer sing of “tossed salad and scrambled eggs,” a chunk of “Frasier” money should be landing in her bank account.
Speaking of scrambled — what a night! The night took a perverse turn at Taylor’s birthday party. Her husband, Russell the Robot, downloaded a program that attempts to calculate human emotion and decided to throw her an awesome birthday party. Unfortunately, the inability to emote is what always holds the robot back in the end — those two are just painful to watch.
It was all downhill from there. Kim Richards has a spat with Taylor at her own birthday party (oy!). She semi-coherently tries to make her case that Taylor inspired some of the Great Kyle Richards/Camille Grammer Feud of the season (and I do think Taylor has some fault in fanning the flames, if not relighting them). That, then, turns into Kim doing this pale, hardly understandable rip-off of the Camille playbook: she’s a victim, she’s being attacked — poor, poor pitiful me. Oh, and she was a child actress, too — which more than a quarter century later has her wiring all messed up.
That devolves into the 15 most disgustingly tantalizing minutes in reality television: the testy, but seemingly loving relationship between Kim and Kyle Richards explodes. Kyle shouts that Kim, who has always struck us as off her rocker, is an alcoholic. [Updated at 11 a.m.: An earlier version of this post left out the fact that it was Kyle who accused Kim of a drinking problem.]
In the process, we see more of Adrienne than we’ve seen of her since she took the girls to Sacramento earlier in the season. She’s trying to play peacemaker, and is apparently so rich that she grows gold strands of hair.
As the episode came to a close, we learned that Lisa Vanderpump and Permanent Houseguest Cedric (who’s not just a leach, but a 37-year-old leach!) had a massive blowup when he moved out. Kim and Kyle still aren’t talking, and Kim failed in her attempt to rehab.
It’s like there’s an angel on one shoulder depressed at watching these lives, and families, disintegrate in a fishbowl. On the other, is a little imp — he’s on the edge of his seat, mouth ajar, thinking the “explosive” reunion next week will be the best birthday present ever.
Update: Upon review, I'd say I have to agree with what you are saying and I need to clarify. Taylor did start the conversation, and I do think that Taylor is messy. But I also think that Kim's behavior was inappropriate. Thank you, Show Trackers, for keeping me on my toes!
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— Rick Rojas
Photo: Kim Richards Credit: Isabella Vosmikova/Bravo
This episode broke my heart for Kim. I truly think she is a very fragile person. I would even suspect that she might be suffering from "social phobia", which why her reactions during the whole program seemed so off...and the possible reason she could be an alcoholic, if that's what she is. I honestly believe that Kyle loves her very much, but being a very outgoing person herself, doesn't understand her sister at all. I found myself feeling sorry for the way she treated her sister....down to her interference with Kim's daughter. Honestly, Kim is the only person I related to at all during the whole show. I felt that she didn't belong with these barracudas. I only hope that after watching the season back that Kyle can see how unfair she was to her and that Kim can actually get the help that she needs, because she seems like a very sweet person that deserves better.
Posted by: Susan | January 21, 2011 at 01:28 PM
I love that most/all of the comments see Taylor and Kyle as the very unkind people they are. All season I was disturbed by the way Kyle treated Kim like she was a second class citizen. The writers "update" still doesn't hit the mark. Taylor did not just start 'the conversation' she immediately attacked Kim. I think Kim gets tongue tied when dealing with aggressive, mean-spirited people (something many of us can relate to). She actually did come to Kyle's defense in New York by trying to point out that it was Taylor, not Kyle, that was discussing Camille's insecurity. Wonder if Kyle will ever get that.
Posted by: California Housewife | January 21, 2011 at 03:32 PM
Probably the best of the housewives shows........ my take...Camille is not all sweetness, but Im guessing she had alot rougher time in the marriage than Kelsey did..........he goes from one relationship immediately to the next, has kids all over the place, has had terrible drug and alcohol problems....can you say impulsive?........lets face it, he s at the stage now where he s down and out in his career and Camille better get every penny she can...... cause his glory days are over.....Kim and kyle = horrible disfunction, I think Kyle has alot of hostility towards her sister, ALOT, and Kim should beat the bejezzus out of kyle as she s got it coming........If I were Mauricio Id take a serious look at kyle and reconsider his marriage,she is BAD news....... and he could do a HECK of alot better.....but working for Hilton Hyland probably really complicates things as to kyle and the Hiltons..........
Posted by: mark | January 21, 2011 at 03:54 PM
This show touched a nerve more than any other Housewives show for me, because of Kim Richards. She is natural looking, flawed, not a social climber. Watching her phony (nose/chin/lip-jobbed) sister Kyle treat her like such a piece of garbage week after week, was angering. The finale I also found heartbreaking, seeing Kim's face registering total surprise and distress as Taylor, Kyle and even Lisa ganged up on her. I wanted to punch them ALL out. When she sat alone crying about her sisters betrayal, it was real and deep. It makes me wish that Kyle and Ugly-Taylor will get a karmic double whammy somehow. I just can't stand either of those atrocious, grasping, self serving phonies whose only worldly accomplishment is marrying men who can provide their lush lifestyles.
Posted by: BobTruer | January 21, 2011 at 05:20 PM
Kelsey Grammar is a scumbag. No matter how ridiculous his former wife acts, I just his fans realize what a womanizing P.O.S. this portly, unattractive blowhard is. Hope his career suffers.
Posted by: vegasgirl | January 22, 2011 at 08:56 AM
I agree with most of the other comments.
If you have been watching the same season as the rest of us, you would see that Kim never starts the drama that is thrust upon her. It is pretty obvious that Taylor wants to feel significant, and the only way she can do that is by orchestrating drama. How she called herself a friend of Kyle's while simultaneously grabbing drinks with Camille is beyond me. Her willingness to play both sides should have been the first sign that she is the definition of two-faced. Taylor is obviously starving for the Beverly Hills lifestyle and will stop at nothing to attain it (changing her name, throwing her kid-daughter a ridiculous birthday party, marrying a guy who she clearly has no chemistry with in order to obtain "social status", blowing up her lips...the list really goes on)
Kim has clearly done her time in a world surrounded by fake people like Taylor and that is probably why she is "off-her-rocker" as you put it. She has been through a lot (her fiancee was murdered when she was younger and she took a hiatus from the spotlight until recently). Her kids are growing up and becoming independent and she is recently divorced. She has a sister who claims to love her, but probably loves bragging about how much she does for her more (Self-aggrandizing much?), and if the accusations were true she is battling a problem with alcohol. Even if you don't see these as real issues, they are clearly affecting Kim. Kyle did not help the situation by constantly attacking her sister.
Anyways, as you can see from the overwhelming discordance concerning your interpretation of the finale, you are way off. Maybe you should revisit the season and incorporate some facts into your opinions.
Posted by: Morgan | January 22, 2011 at 09:02 AM
Interesting sister/child star dynamic at work with Kim and Kyle! Does anyone remember the Bette Davis, Joan Crawford movie , What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?
Posted by: Joan | January 22, 2011 at 08:29 PM
Like everyone else.....I can't stop watching.
Money doesn't make you happy however one would hope that one would be smart enough to use one's money to get help.
Shame on you Taylor! Too bad she didn't learn some of the Oklahoman's gentle and peaceful ways. Geez!
Posted by: AJ | January 22, 2011 at 08:37 PM
I truly feel for Kim. As a child, she supported the entire family. Kim’s earnings paid for the house, cars and also provided Kyle an entrance into the acting world. Unlike, Kyle, Kim never got to attend school like all the other children her age. And when her mother called to inform her that she had cancer, Kim relocated her entire family (four children) to another state in order to take care of her mother. And the truly sad part is that after her mother died, she discovered the houses and cars that Kim’s salary paid for ended up in someone’s name. I let you guess whose name that was.
Kathy Fenton (Kim’s mother) talks about her cancer. Start the clip at 4:22 to go directly to Kim…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDSgBEDxvK0&feature
Posted by: Kelly | January 23, 2011 at 12:41 PM
I also thought of "Baby Jane" when I watched the two of them together. Such a shock when you find out that Blanche drove the car that injured her legs in an attempt to kill her sister and Jane thought she had done it all along in a drunken haze.
I had a feeling that was the type of situation we were dealing with when it came to the "you stole my house" comment. Someone has a really guilty conscience and needs to feel put upon to alleviate it a bit.
Posted by: Jonathan | January 24, 2011 at 06:41 AM
Leech an aquatic blood sucking animal
Leach to pass a liquid through a substance so as to remove soluble material
Thanks for the recap.
Posted by: Kirsten | January 26, 2011 at 08:47 AM
Why do we just assume Kim is an alcoholic just because the others say she is? How would bravo not capture her drunk if that were so, seeing as these shows thrive and profit from sensationalism? I call foul. And at youtube there is a pretty damaging video of an undeniably drunk Taylor hanging all over Kyle and slurring that they're "besties". So we have video evidence of Taylor drunk but not Kim. Kim did not seem drunk at all at Taylor's party and, while we see the other women with glasses in hand we never see Kim drink. I think they are all projecting onto Kim simply because it's in their nature and because they can. I hope the petition at stoopid housewives ** to get another company to drop Taylor as spokesperson ** is effective. I also hope her charity drops her. She does not ooze positivity or role model material.
Posted by: MB | January 27, 2011 at 10:28 AM
Kyle needs to face reality - she IS A BULLY! She has caddy remarks to make about Camille or anyone else for that matter. I think
she is the one in need of counseling! Kyle, stick by your sister, for heaven's sake - those superficial girlfriends like Taylor, won't be there when things get rough! Your sister will always be there for you, come hell nor high water.
Taylor - GET REAL! You are one of the most superficial women I have ever seen! Get a reduction in that big top lip and seek anger management counseling! I bought your act at first with the domestic violence charity, however; after seeing and hearing you say "I'll take you out back and pull some Oklahoma on your ass" caused me to have second thoughts! One other thing - your poor little daughter - the WORLD could see that $60,000 party was for YOU - NOT your daughter. Pathetic!
Posted by: MiMi of 2 | January 27, 2011 at 09:02 PM
I thought Camile was a skank but TAylor takes the cake. She is a bully and she really needs to have her whole face redone...(eWWWWWW) no wonder her husband doesnt want her...
Posted by: con | January 28, 2011 at 04:22 PM
I want to know what Kim meant when she stated to Kyle "you took my house". in the limo. I don't see any comments about this, I rewinded several times to make sure I heard it right. Does anyone know what she means by that?
Posted by: Terri | January 28, 2011 at 04:45 PM
during the reunion, Kim called Taylor a chameleon. why? for the same reason that Kim told Taylor at her party that Taylor had Kyle faked. because Kim (just like Lisa) had a pretty darn good idea of what Taylor had actually done to stir the pot ... yet Taylor had not admitted to it (and Kyle didn't seem to mind - or had decided to hold Camille responsible for her own actions, regardless of anything Taylor may have done). so Taylor could twist the truth here and there to give the appearance of being on everyone's side. it's the dark side of being a people pleaser ... perhaps Taylor was not proud of what she had done ... but as long as she wanted to cover her own butt, Kim would be a threat to her.
Posted by: Real Housewives Sidekick | January 28, 2011 at 07:12 PM
I don't see Kim as trying to be the victim, clearly they make her the victim. And from my perspective, she seems to be the only genuine and kind person there. the only time she joins the fray is when she is hauled into it. Taylor has clearly learned well from her 'abusive past" -- she can so easily, like animals in the wild acting on instinct, identify and attack the weakest member of the pride. No matter who is in the hot seat at any given time, Taylor turns it on Kim. I wish Kim were strong enough to stand up for herself. I think Kim also keeps a few secrets of her own, which is why they all attack her.
Given the option to be the weak one of the bully, I would choose to be weak. it's not nearly so calculating and indecent to be weak. And there are no facts to support any claims that Kim is an alcoholic -- only hearsay and accusations by women caught on video lying repeatedly and behaving badly and unkindly.
Taylor would never dare attack Lisa or Kyle or even camille, as they have power. No, go for the jugular of the weak one Taylor, and that makes you [sic] "the lady you are". Really?
I predict that in season 2 Taylor eventually finds herself on the outs with the other women due to her own machinations gone awry.
Posted by: Serena | January 29, 2011 at 10:10 AM
Taylor or should I say Shania is nothing but a lying gold digger. What she has done to herself is such a shame, she had a chance at being at least half way decent looking. Now it is down right painful to look at her. She was a mean girl in high school and it is now coming back to bite her in her ass.
Posted by: Scarlett | January 30, 2011 at 01:11 AM
Seriously??? Are you on Kyles payroll or Bravos? This couldn't even be edited to look like Kim's fault or that she was drunk. Yet you spin this to look like it's Kim??? No issue with Kyles maniac, trailer park and extremely immature behavior??!? Unbelievable. Kyle and Taylor are the messes. Look again.
Posted by: Lex | January 30, 2011 at 11:13 AM
Whew, I am fatigued from watching, and it isn't my life.
Kim and Kyle are both injured, heart-breaking to watch. Whatever it is they are trying to work through it and I only wish the best for them. They have children (some almost adults) and families and the pain needs to stop with them.
Taylor has such low self-esteem she marries a man who is not capable of warmth. B-rrr, good thing they live in sunny California.
Camille who is not exactly a sympathetic character is still a human being and her husband is a cad. He has not only been unfaithful but so public with it. What a DOG! Can any of us put ourselves in her shoes when the doorman denied her access ?! Like a dagger to the heart. A one two knock-out punch.
She deserves better and I hope she buys only the best with all of his $$$.
However, it is clear money can't buy you love or happiness. Plastic surgery doesn't erase the scars and life is for living. Here's wishing them all peace of spirit.
Posted by: free2bthee | February 02, 2011 at 06:23 PM