'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' recap: The serious business of love

Thanksgiving may have been last Thursday, but I feel like I need to share something I’m thankful for: a respite from the "Housewives" last week, and a break from Camille Grammer on “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” on Thursday night.

It was a night of romance for the housewives. It was, indeed, a rather boring night. No fights, not too much cattiness. Just a glimpse into married life in Beverly Hills. There are some married couples on the show who make me squirm and others who make me smile.

So, the discussion for this week: Marriage. (And in the case of Kim Richards, blind dating.)

The Nassif-Maloof couple is one that makes me smile. They have one of those stereotypical sitcom marriages -– dysfunctional but it works. They gel together. He screws up, he doesn’t show up to her family’s events, he’s sometimes sloppy and is the worst when it comes to placing an order for dinner. And she's generally dismissive of him, blowing him off as a fool. On this anniversary –- their eighth –- he comes through and gives her the perfect gift for the woman who has everything (including a hotel/casino and an NBA team): a dog.

But, oddly enough, it’s a dog that highlights the strains in another marriage, between Taylor Armstrong and her husband, Russell. Russell, as you may recall, at the ridiculous Mad Hatter party that Taylor threw for their daughter, gave the daughter a puppy for her birthday, even though Taylor clearly forbade him from doing so. Turns out the girl is allergic, and the doctor suggests getting rid of the dog. It would seem obvious to follow the doctor’s order. Plus, kids are resilient. She’ll get over it. No, he says, he wants to keep that dog.

The Armstrongs try to look romantic in the process of having this conversation in the backyard on the outdoor couch by the pool. They are a couple who are painful to watch: they have practically no chemistry, like the two of them have never met.

I’ve talked in the past about how I had soured on Taylor. She, like Camille, was all about the money, and about bragging about her splurges. I hate to drag out that word, but she seems quite insecure. And it’s sad. Behind the pouty lips and hair ripped from the pages of the Kim Zolciak wig line catalog, and despite the big house and the money and seemingly all the things that cement status, she comes across as empty. Taylor’s reaching for status as though it can fill what is otherwise a hollow shell of her life.

What the material things do for Taylor, Kim's children usually do for her. It was refreshing this week to see Kim step out of her comfort zone. She was as painfully awkward as usual, with all the trembling anxiety that has become central to her character. But she put herself out there. (I’m not kidding – you saw the dress!) She didn’t pull out the I-was-a-child-actress-so-that’s-why [fill in the blank]. She seemed to have a fun time, and I felt happy for her. Martin, the older English man with whom Lisa Vanderpump set her up on a blind date, seemed to mesh well with her. They may not be soul mates, but it’s a positive development –- the first one to come out of this show in a while.

The show, if anything, served as a reminder of what marriage should be about. Take Kyle Richards and her husband, or Lisa Vanderpump and hers –- they’ve found something that works.

Taylor watched Kyle in envy, seeing her husband swoon over her and how she reciprocated. Later, at lunch, Taylor told her about how she hoped her marriage would grow into something like that, and how she hoped she and her husband could become good friends.

That isn’t where they are at now, though.

“I feel like we’re great business partners,” a tearful Taylor told Kyle.

Marriage for them was just a merger. And as a good businessman will tell you, love has no place in business.

QUESTIONS:

I’m still filled with the spirit of Thanksgiving, so share with me which "Housewives" moments you are grateful for this season.

Since it’s not practical to give Women Who Have Everything a material thing for the holidays, let’s offer them some wisdom. What advice, if any, would you want to pass along to these ladies?

-- Rick Rojas

UPDATE: Hat tip to Joanne for catching my flub on Taylor Armstrong's husband's name. It's Russell, not Lawrence.

Photo: Kyle Richards, Taylor Armstrong, Lisa Vanderpump and Kim Richards Credit: Jason DeCrow/Bravo

Comments

[kim]

I enjoyed the article,especially the remark about Camille.She's exhausting.But what do you expect from someone who compares herself with Jesus.I have to disagree about Ms.Maloof's husband.He doesn't seem to know his ass from a hole in the ground.And he's a surgeon????

[Joanne]

Adrienne and her husband are not "the Maloofs." Her husband is Dr. Paul Nassif and she is Adrienne Maloof-Nassif. Taylor's husband is not named Lawrence, his name is Russell.

[Lindy K]

Wow, Joanne - impressed by you, and lack of fact-checking by author of blog post.

[Bea from NJ]

Who is Lawrence?? Taylor's hubby's name is Russell. :-)

[Crystal]

Santa's bag of gifts for the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills:

Santa would bring Lisa one week in comfy shoes, a granola cruncher brand, say Keens.

To Adrienne he would bring a little man to poop scoop.

Kim would get a pot laced fruitcake, that should relax her.

Taylor would get a rest from those lips, some sort of stand to hold them up.

Kyle would find a baby sling under the tree for her baby in waiting.

Camille would have a beautifully wrapped box from Tiffany's with a lump of VERY EXPENSIVE coal in it.

Merry Christmas to the ladies of Beverly Hills!

[Katie]

Taylor's lips make my mouth hurt. Whenever she's drinking something I expect it to sort of dribble out because her mouth looks like novocaine feels. Her husband is a cold fish and she is miserable. Personally I'd rather be a Valley "real housewife" with a tiny house and a great, romantic husband. Oh wait, I already am! I noticed Kim & daughter went to La Frite on Ventura Blvd. and wonder if the "Bevery Hills" part is as accurate as the "housewife" part.

[Susan]

Well, you nailed my thoughts on these housewives. Kim, Kyle and Lisa are the only ones who seem to have any sense about them. I actually ache for Kim, because she seems like she does not fit in with this group. She tries to be catty, but it's just not her. So, my advice to her would be to ignore the superficial behavior and be proud of her focus on her family. Btw, she doesn't need her sister's approval on any decision she makes for her family. Asking her to back her up is unnessasary. At 20, yes her daughter make her own choices, but she can present a logical argument.....and then if she controls the pursestrings, control things that way.

[AmiW]

Rick Rojas, great minds think alike. I love your article on these ladies. Is it just me or is it actually Camille who is jealous jealous jealous of Kyle? And can you say "karma"? Seriously, sad that Kelsey left Camille but I find it rather comforting that you really do get what you put into life. She stirred up trouble with Kyle, we all can see that clearly, then she claimed to want independence and her own identity away from her hubby, yet she brings him up every chance she gets. Is it possible to name drop your own spouse? Clearly it is. I really hope they boot Camille, she's annoying and obvious.

They showed that scene where she was reading "The Art of War" and she comically (unknowingly comic on her part) quoted a line. Something about the one that loses their cool first has already lost or something of that nature. Enough on Camille and her somewhat cross-eyed look. I like Kyle, Lisa and Adrienne the best.

PS. if one is going to correct you on your article, they should note it isn't a political article, it's entertainment...lighten up on showing the author up. Just sayin' ;-)

[rosie]

how can i txt the beverly hills house wifes and ask questions?