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‘Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ recap: I have a vision: It’s all downhill from here

PreviewOh, they went there.

You name it: the New York affair, Taylor’s lips, the relationship between Kim and Kyle and all that is Camille Grammer. It flared up — like a beautiful disaster — Thursday night on the “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.”

I have to say, the producers suckered us in. Last week was a snooze with its focus on Kim Richard’s terrifying dating life (it reminded me of the Date Mike version of Michael Scott on “The Office,” sans the Kangol cap), and on Taylor Armstrong’s life (although it was touching and helped to add a little substance to the hollow shell she had been on the show).

And this week started with the ladies on their best behavior. The dinner party at Camille’s house started out as civil, if not phony, but there seemed to be a slim chance that this whole thing could derail so badly.

And it did. And it was riveting television, as if the manual of psychological disorders had been portrayed for a viewing audience. Camille introduced us to a woman born to be a villain on reality TV — I just can’t believe Alison Dubois didn’t see her own fate.

There was the electronic cigarette that she whipped out at the dinner table and whiffed as though she were channeling Sharon Stone — which won me over immediately. She was weird and had Kim Richards-style facial tics and had the rare indignant attitude that only someone on reality TV without any reason to have attitude can have (I’m thinking of a certain monster VH1 created dubbed "New York"). In case that name sounds at all familiar, she’s the basis of “Medium” — or “The Show Camille Grammer Produces And Used to Launch Patricia Arquette to Superstardom.”

Every time she opened her mouth, it was pure gold. With a smarmy look and a puff of her electronic cigarette, you couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in that head of hers. Actually, you do know what she’s thinking. It’s something like this:

Hussy, you just got served!  Alison Dubois style!

Of course, this “medium” makes Raven Symone’s old Disney Channel act look realistic. She started off the evening with this off-the-wall soliloquy about being a young, Good Girl Gone Bad. “We’re not supposed to be good,” she told everyone at the table. “We’re supposed to be really, really bad. In a controlled setting.”

You could see in Adrienne Maloof’s face that she was wondering why she — a woman who owns basketball teams and casinos and has enough money to put what looks like gold chains in her hair — has to sit next to this nut. And Lisa Vanderpump pried into spirit-seeing ability like a mischievous kid trying to gin up some trouble.

The whole thing started heading off the tracks when Camille pretended like she didn’t know who the guest Kyle Richards brought with her was. It was Faye Resnick, one of the hangers-on from the O.J. trial. Camille showed her acting prowess when suddenly Faye’s identity — and the details of her spread in Playboy — just popped into her head. Talk about instant recall.

Then, The Medium — with alleged reluctance — offers her reading of Kyle’s future. She said her husband would never fulfill her emotionally and that their marriage would wilt after the kids grew up.

And boom goes the dynamite!

Camille and Kyle went back to the whole No One Would Be Interested In Camille Without Kelsey There remark that I continue to argue that Camille dreamed up.

Out of nowhere, Kim popped up like a Whack-A-Mole, randomly attacking Taylor: “Why don’t you go blow up your lips some more!” (Though I have to give props to Kim on this one. Someone needed to say it.)

Then, Miss Cleo jumped in and took us for a ride.  In between releasing plumes of steam and twitchy smirks, she unleashed a slew of disses so wonderful my little Grinch heart grew at least two sizes last night. I’ve collected a few of my favorite for you below:

I’ve had books written about me and by me, and a television show about my life, so you can take a flying leap.

You’ve got two legs the last time we checked … So walk!

You’re not interesting to me, so you can keep being interested by me. That’s awesome.  You’ve got two legs too!

I can tell you when she will die, and what will happen to her children. I love that about me.

Hmm, I seem to be having a vision that Alison Dubois must have missed about her friend Camille, who was on the edge of her seat, her eyes twinkling at the sight of the drama surrounding her.

In my vision, I see the obnoxious star of a '90s sitcom. It’s not David Schwimmer. No, he looks more like a porpoise in a cashmere sweater.

And he’s in New York City, on Broadway, and a woman who’s not his wife is there with him. I’m seeing a K. Her name is Kay, or Kathy, or … wait.

It’s Kayte Walsh.

Oh, yeah, I went there.

****
Moments with The Medium:
What is up with this lady? Electronic cigarette. Ego. Sipping on cocktails like it’s Sizzurp and she’s a rapper. What was your favorite moment with Patricia Arquette’s inspiration?

Where does it go from here?
Can these women ever be in the same room together again? I can only imagine a reunion special that Bravo has to stretch out over six weeks, and a least a few of them will likely show up in straightjackets.

Pretend you’re Miss Dubois. What are your predictions, Show Trackers?

— Rick Rojas

Photo: Kyle Richards, Taylor Armstrong, Kim Richards and Lisa Vanderpump. Credit: Jason DeCrow/Bravo 

 
Comments () | Archives (71)

I think it's hillarious that the Medium says she has a vision about Kyle's husband....HELLO?? What about the lady sitting next to you....Camille! Her marriage blew up in flames....did the Medium see that coming? Maybe that's why Camille doesn't share secrets with her "supposed" friend. She is afraid of what the Medium will say about her. Shocking.

I loved the show medium but will never watch it again. Allison is a crazy nut that needs help, she's unstable, who talks like that at a dinner party? I need to shove this cigerette up her bum but make it bigger so she can feel it. I hope she flushed her career down the toilet, who wants to work with a DRUNK! And she's paid by the tax payers..YIKES!!!!!!!Time for some A.A. perhaps.

...and the award for best ever Real Housewives of all recaps goes to Rick Rojas. Rick I will never be the same, this is the best writing since, John Steinbeck, no Will Rogers, no Samuel Clements, Rick it is good, that's all I want to say. Loved it. Every letter!!! They really gave you something to work with, I am impressed.

Alison Dubois (a.k.a Fake Psychic) and Camilla (a.k.a. Crazy Lady) are so funny -- and not very bright. If Alison was a "real" psychic, don't you think she would have seen Camillas future? For those of you who don't know, Kelsey her husband has filed for divorce and is already engaged to someone else! It was also interesting how Alison and Camilla said a few times how Kim would have been the back-stabbing mean girl in high school! They completely described themselves to a T. Camilla smiled a little whenever Alison was ripping Kim. Camilla is sick! I feel so sorry for her children. What kind of role model is that? Alison & Camilla need therapy!

I predict that Ms.Dubois is going to be shocked at the negative impact that scene will have on her as a psychic. As a practicing reader myself I was horrified at her unethical and deliberately hurtful use of her gifts. Surely she must know that her behavior will find its way back to her, if it hasn't already. I'm pretty sure the time line here is that she filmed this wretched dinner before she knew her show was being canceled. That's a karmic kick in the ass for both Allison and her producer Camille.
Allison Dubois had impressive credentials, but working as a psychic is all about peprception. She came off as egotistical, mean, manipulative and venonous, That makes all psychics look bad and could just destroy her reputation. She's lost my respect completely.

I think Camille needed another episode dedicated to herself hence the whole dinner idea!!!! I am however going to say this though, I was quite a faithful viewer of “Medium” but after watching that it was based of such a “drunk fake cigarette smoking reptile” I would not be able to watch it with the same clear mind. And what’s funny is that if she can see husband’s cheating….hmm and she did not see Kelsey cheating? Whatever Kelsey did with Camille and the humiliating way he asked for divorce, I think he just had it with her. As a wife, you stand by ur husband, have his kids, maintain his house, cook for the family etc, she hired someone to have her kids, had tons of nannys to look after them, tonnes of staff to do everything from looking after the house, to styling her hair to helping her dress…wonder if she had hired someone to “service Kelsey” the days she was not in the mood!!!!!!
I was shocked to hear the so called medium say that she thot kyle’s marriage was going to break apart, no matter how secure and happy one is in their marriage, there is always a thought in the back of the mind ..”I hope nothing goes wrong” and she was just mean to deliberately put that thought in her mind. I think Camille brought the “medium” to the party and plied her with strong drinks just so that she would be riled enough to attack kyle on various levels. My sympathies with Kyle !
Kim on the other hand seems to have no place on the show, either she is being set up with old “one foot in the grave” boring men or she picks a fight with taylor to just have some spotlight on her……she is sad, just sad , pathetic and dependent on her sister.
I have never really liked taylor, however I think she made a classy move to get out of the lion’s den’s before pizza’s were thrown across the table.
All and all it was disgraceful behavior on Camille’s part, I dunno how her husband tolerated her craziness for so long….and Allison…I am not a medium but I can see that Camille’s kids are not “emotionally fulfilled “ by her and will have no use for her when they grow up!!!!
Oh yea…Camille…Everyone is sooooooo Jealous of you….not everyone can afford to sit at home and sip wine while thinking of how to create drama…some of us actually have jobs!!!

Allison's behavior and remarks seemed very unnatural and contrived to me. Her "zingers" were baseless and unprovoked. She seemed akward while she twitched and puffed away at her cigarette. Trying to look cool and unaffected by the ongoings around her made her look exactly the opposite. She's just a silly immature girl. Hard to watch really. Hopefully we won't have to see anymore of her.

I think that Alison was just laying in wait for Kyle, she kept throwing out bait waiting for just the right person to bite - and that was Kyle. Camille has perfected the innocent victim, she and Scarlet O'Hara could be sisters.
After the show Kyle was on the aftershow and who calls in but Camille to apologize and steal the thunder right from under Kyle. Camille gushes about how she didn't mean it to turn out so badly.

What a mess!

OMG.. yer right, that Dubois psycho psychic is out there!!! this episode is so far the most interesting ...finally making this show worth watching. & that Camille ex Grammer...she's a big hypocrite .. Did she researched that guest Resnick's profile before dinner?..sad, i cant stand her teenager voice matching her twinkling eyes

Ok, I may now never watch Medium again, without associating it with this crazy woman. Why are there any unsolved crimes with her around? Finally, she obviously didn't know about Camille's divorce surprise, did she? Money says she will claim she just didn't want her friend to be hurt, so she kept it from her. And yes, Camille, you are dillusional, no wonder Kelsey jumped a sinking ship. You are a barnacle.

Camille needs her face pushed in. She IS a nothing w/out her husband. She acts like trailor trash with money. She is an empty inside Barbie doll flying on her husband's fame. She is not attractive even after all that hair and makeup and thousands of dollars worth of clothes and jewelry. SHE is the one who set Kyle up at that dinner by having that ugly,self centered , screwed up medium at the dinner. Camille KNEW her guests would ask that broad questions... she knew it . She set the whole thing up to piss off Kyle. Camille's wide eyed look is just plain stupid. When that medium took out that electronic cigarette I laughed my ass off at how rediculous it looked . The way she drew the smoke in her mouth and twisted her ugly lips to blow it out. Who on this planet smokes like that...no one but a whore. Did the medium think that by showing herself off an uncontollable drunk would further her career I think not. As for ballsy Kyle I like her BUT I don't like how she treats her sister.
. She is very unforgiving to her. And Taylor ...she's just there for window dressing. Her husband is overbearing all he has to do is look at her and she quits what she is doing. I saved my favorites for last Adrienne and Lisa. They both have successful marriages and both husbands and wives our their own businesses. These women to me are class acts and could probably buy out all the rest of them just to shut them up. Well that is my opinion. Rosie


Alison, the medium is a mean girl, alcoholic phony. It is hard to believe she is actually helping the authorites identify serial killers as she claimed.I don't think she could pass the psychological screening tests herself.

WM

"Alison Dubois style!"

I thought you couldn't get any crazier than Camille. I was WRONG! "The Real Housewives of Wherever" will never ever ever top that dinner.

And didn't Alison mumble something about "...if her children were missing I wouldn't do a thing to help them." That was a mean comment. Mean!

I could not believe that Allison DuBois last night she is crazy I think she's unstable,as well as being a drunk she's disgraceful.
I will never watch medium again knowing that snake is part of the show.
Why is it she didn't know that Camilla's marriage was a sham .
Shame on Allison with the comments about Kyle's marriage and her children this is not a women I would ever trust to help the police she has her own selfish agenda.
For someone professing to know everything she's pretty stupid,but then if she's friends with Camilla Kelsey she'd have to be on the same level.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know Camilla is clueless no wonder Kelsey ran and didn't look back he was a saint to live with her as long as he did.
Camilla doesn't seem to have any friends other than those she has to pay to work for her,she's a sad looser.

Without Kelsey she is nothing more than a useless bimbo who seems to think everyone is jealous of her ,I don't think so she's a joke.
She's the trouble maker who loves to be in the spot light thats the only attention she gets know one would pay any attention to her other wise.
The show should get rid of her she's annoying that fake voice of her's is like finger nails over a chalk board.

I am waiting for the Tony's episode with Kelsey on the red carpet where Camille will likely try to lay down the law on what specifically her needs are and how they need to be met and he will smile at her all the while knowing that he has made other plans including trying to make a baby with someone else. Thank God for Camille that she is good looking because without Kelsey's money she will have little else after this show has completely displayed her narcissism. I felt sorry for the way she was replaced quickly by Kelsey until I saw this show. You want to end your marriage? Be on a reality TV show and watch it implode!
Great summary article of the show.....

Wow. No wonder Camille's husband left her. Who would want her?
Does she have a friend who is not on the payroll?
I doubt it.
Yuck. And that Medium- complete BS. What a con artist. Evil and pathetic!
Wonder if Mr Kelsey Grammer knew that by exposing his evil wife to the public we would all take his side in the divorce. Good riddance to her Kelsey. And brilliant PR move by you!

Darn, I loved the show “Medium" and now can NEVER watch it again. Um, thanks "real" Alison Dubois.

Camille and Alison are both crazy, delusional, and narcissistic women. They need therapy.

I predict Faye Resnick will become the new BH housewife hopefully to replace delusional Camille.

It was an outstanding episode, simply outstanding. Television just doesn't get much better than this. If you're keen on some incisive in depth analysis I highly recommend checking out Reality Fishbowl. The author actually knows a few of the ladies on this incarnation of the Housewives and is bitingly witty.


http://www.realityfishbowl.com/real-housewives-of-beverly-hills-iamsurly-meet-psychic-bitch.html

***PEOPLE.....THIS IS FAKE! THE PRODUCERS OF THIS SHOW ARE RELISHING IN YOUR COMMENTS*** IF THIS SHOW IS SO HORRIBLE FOR YOU TO WATCH THAN DON'T AND GO TO THE GYM INSTEAD OR BETTER YET, JUST GET OUT AND DO SOMETHING!!!

 
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