Decoding 'Sarah Palin's Alaska': What we learned when Sarah met Kate + 8

There are certain ideas that sound brilliant to reality TV producers, and to no one else in the world. "Conveyor Belt of Love." "Fat March." The all-too-straightforwardly named "Hurl." And now we can add: Kate Gosselin and her eight children join the Palin family on a camping trip in bear country. What could possibly go wrong?

Actually, not much does. The kids have a blast until their cold, whiny mother insists that they leave, an outcome that could have been predicted by anyone who has ever been camping. Or seen people camping on TV. Nevertheless, the show, as always, has valuable lessons to teach us.

1. If you love your kids, you’ll shoot to kill.

The first half of the episode is devoted to lessons in bear safety, the procurement of an enormous new gun for Palin, and a lot of remarks like this one: “Bein’ out and about in Alaska’s wilds, it’s more common than not to see somebody having some kind of weapon on their person. In fact, it’s probably as commonplace as if you’re walkin’ down the street in New York City and you see somebody with a BlackBerry on their hip.”

At this point, I have some questions. Like, do people still carry phones on their hips, or was that some kind of bizarre product placement/dog whistle mash-up, in which “BlackBerry” also means “imaginary illegal handgun that certain paranoid rural voters are sure all New Yorkers carry”? And when you’re out and about in Alaska’s wilds, how often do you see other people at all? And wait, didn’t you all say this show wasn’t an eight-hour political ad?

Palin answers that last one for us: “Even for those who, maybe on a political level, think they are anti-gun, they need to realize, if you are out in the wilderness -- and perhaps you’re with children -- camping, well, you’re putting yourself and your family in danger if you are not armed, if you are not prepared for a predator.” Sure, and that totally explains why your average suburban family needs a gun in the home. I mean, come on, does that really still work on anyone?

Yep! Kate Gosselin: “I can’t say I’m a gun advocate, necessarily, but there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to protect my kids.”

Except, say, refuse an invitation to take them camping in bear country for a reality TV stunt.

2. When your favorability rating is at an all-time low, it helps to hang out with someone the public finds even more odious than you.

Four words I never, ever, ever believed I would say: “Right on, Sarah Palin.” When she’s rolling her eyes and snarking about Gosselin’s completely predictable Oh my god, you meant outdoor camping? meltdown, it's awfully hard not to relate to her. 

3. But that only goes so far.

That brief moment of shared humanity was, of course, tempered by (among other things) Palin’s relentless lust for bear blood; the scene where she gently chides Piper for cheating on her homework but doesn’t actually insist that she stop; and the fact that once again, Mama Grizzly’s on vacation, banging on about the importance of spending time with loved ones, minus her youngest child. Perhaps this trip would have been unpleasant or unfeasible for Trig, but where I come from, parents usually plan “family vacations” that don’t require leaving a little kid behind. I guess that’s not how they do it in Alaska?

If that weren’t enough to undo my microsecond of appreciation for Sarah Palin, then there’s the fact that despite it all, she still has Kate Gosselin’s endorsement. “I admire her for being a strong woman who doesn’t back down, who doesn’t let the world’s opinion of her change her or get to her,” says Gosselin in an interview that could easily be from a “woman on the street” campaign commercial, if the woman on the street had Botox, a spray tan, and her own reality show.

I don’t suppose it’s occurred to either of them that when your approval rating is plummeting toward single digits, it might be worth giving the world’s opinion of you a second look.

-- Kate Harding

Photo: Kate Gosselin meets Trig Palin, carried by Willow Palin, as the Gosselin children climb aboard Todd Palin's plane at the Palins' house in Wasilla, Alaska. Credit: Gilles Mingasson / TLC

Comments

[Nancy]

Kate Harding is right on the target with her insights into Sara Palin.

I am an Alaskan - most Alaskan families include their babies in their "family".
Alaskans take their children camping. We took our babies on our backs when we were hiking, skiing, canoeing, fishing, clamming and camping from the age of 3 weeks. We camp in a tent, with the bugs - that is camping - anywhere.

Traveling in an RV? That is not camping, RV's are for the tourists - not the real Alaskan families.

We have hiked and camped for over 35 years , in Alaska, Canada, and the lower 48 states and we never carried guns or a rifles.

Bear bells will warn bears of your proximity, and bear spray is more effective according to the actual facts of human encounters with bears while hiking and camping.

Alaskans are fed up with Palin. Sarah Palin is a quitter - she quit in the middle of her job in Alaska to take a million dollar book and TV deal. Then she turns our state into a cliche with her ignorant comments. Barbara Bush made the comment that Sarah should stay in Alaska - but we wish she would head somewhere else?
Perhaps Hollywood? Her comments are more like the fantasy of a "reality TV show" than any real world family.

[saywhat]

"I don’t suppose it’s occurred to either of them that when your approval rating is plummeting toward single digits, it might be worth giving the world’s opinion of you a second look."

^ I think that goes to the LA Times too huh? Especially this section of the LA Times. Damn, burned...

If you want to do an entertainment article, do it; don't take jabs on politics, that's what the Politics Section of the LA Times is for. Sorry if you weren't smart enough for that part.

[laura]

Sarah was over the top...and Kate was a total brat!! I found it interesting with all the camping....both women wore earrings!!!!

[patti]

Let's see if we can peg two idiot Kates with one stone! As a mother with children ranging in age from 17 to 3 I have to say Kate Harding must be an idiot which shows in her ignorant comments. Sarah Palin taking the time and planning to continue her family traditions by taking her older children camping is commendable. If I had someone I could've trusted to watch my son when he was an infant so that my older children could still enjoy an activity that was not appropriate for a baby then I would have to agree with SP that the older kids still deserve their recreational time too! As far as the comment about Sarah projecting a "thirsty for bear blood attitude" is just plain stupid, exaggerated, and a reach to shmear her at best. She has obviously had a life of outdoor activity (from childhood to present) and was showing the public what that entails. Thank you Sarah my family has truly enjoyed your show and learned so much from watching it. I am so jealous, I would have LOVED the opportunity the Gosselin family received.

As for the other Kate-idiot. I have to say that I have never been on the bash- Kate Gosselin-band-wagon, if anything I have been criticized for telling others to stop picking on the woman or beating a dead horse or that she is only human. We all have to agree Jon Gosselin showed himself to be a model pig. I was horribly disappointed in Kate's lack of MANNERS! She showed ZERO manners or appreciation to her hosts. She taught her kids how not to overcome a situation that you don't care for except to pout, whine, and complain until you are in the clear. She didn't even bother interacting with her children! Further, I was so appalled by Kate's out right RUDENESS to Piper Palin, a young child who once clapped and cheered at the very idea of meeting the Gosselin family. Kate's question to her "You actually enjoy this?" with a matter-of-fact look bordering disgust, was beyond rude and completely unacceptable. This is a family activity that Piper has obviously participated in and enjoyed for as long as she can remember. Now some ice-queen woman whom Piper originally wanted to meet and welcomed with open arms to share in her family's traditions is now belittling her family by demeaning something they have always enjoyed together, on public TV no less! I can't imagine that Kate was that cold with all of that ice coarsing through her veins, she should've felt right at home. She acted like a spoiled mean child who wasn't getting her way. Now, I could careless what others say about Kate Gosselin, she apparently has no regard for how other people feel (to include young children!) and now I wonder if Jon was such a pig after all or just looooong overdue! I feel sorry for the Gosslin children.
Patti - Fort Walton Beach, FL