‘Survivor’ recap: The one where Probst is left speechless

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Poor, poor Marty. Partly because Jane gave him the nickname “Farty” (which I’m adopting myself), but mostly because he’s surrounded by people who are just so stupid. I mean, why would they want to vote him out? That’s just insane. I don’t know what they’re thinking.

Oh, that’s right, they’re thinking for themselves, Farty. Whodathunkit.

Whatever Farty doesn’t get, he calls dumb. Over and over again. But all the paranoia does prove beneficial to “Survivor” enjoyment, as we see Farty decide to gossip like the rest of the bunch to see what happens. Said bunch seems to be pretty tight, but all it takes is a team reward challenge to make lines more apparent, stable players suddenly paranoid and more attitude to be displayed (any guesses as to where the attitude’s coming from?)

Somehow, randomly, the two teams chosen at the reward challenge make it men versus women, but with 11 players, one person has to sit out and gamble on who will win. Chase’s instincts tell him to back the women, furthering their level of trust in him. Now common logic –- not Farty logic –- makes Chase look dumb here, but I was with him if only because I expected Dan (oh, Dan)to delay his team in the race. But fortunately for Dan he was able to just follow behind his teammates after they did all the work breaking through brick walls and such, and only slowed them down when navigating a PlayPlace-like netted area. The men won, and of course Chase is disappointed, as are the men in him. Though the winners are able to give their reward to a loser, no one budges, and then men are off to zip line, eat barbecue and listen to Farty’s latest lecture. He wants everyone to talk about voting NaOnka out so they can flush out the idol (wait, they know Na has the idol?) and then vote out Jane. Most everyone back at camp still really wants Farty out.

Although the editors and the “Survivor” narration have been saying Brenda and Sash are running things, it only became clear to me that was so in this episode simply because they’re the swing votes in the middle of the two burgeoning alliances –- there’s Chase and Jane, the two representing North Cackalacky, who’re pretty tight with Holly and Na, and now Benry and Fabio are playing dumb under the influence of Farty and his sidekick Dan.

This week’s immunity challenge is a memory game, and only one person will win. Even with things the way they are, everyone seems against Marty winning. But, of course, he makes it to the end, just him and Brenda, “who have not been the best of friends,” Jeff Probst said.

“Not true,” said Farty.

“Just saying what I see,” Probst responded, with a smile and a wink. Work for that Emmy, Probst.

After one more go, Brenda wins, and Jane’s so excited she cannot hide it. Simmer down now, ma’am, you may be the first true blindside of the season. Oh wait, Chase sees right through Marty’s Na fakeout, so maybe not. And Ohio and Missouri –- er, Brenda and Sash don’t know or really care who’s voted out next.

At tribal council, Farty continues on his Jane bent, and Brenda validates him, saying Jane’s a threat by being the nice person bringing everyone fish to eat. She said it’d be smarter to bring a troublemaker to the end with you then someone who pleased everyone.

With that, Probst goes back to Na’s flour thievery not being a big deal last week, but Farty said it definitely wasn’t trivial. Na’s defense?

“Jeff, I’m not perfect. I’m a -- I’m a humanitarian, I’m a human. I-I screw up, Marty screws up, too. But I don’t like him, he don’t like me, so it is what it is.”

But wait, that’s not all! Probst was left speechless, so I can’t even try to make sense of what happened next. Just know that Na. Went. Off. F-bombs included. For practically no reason except to make people want to send her home, and that it led to Na and Farty both making overly dramatic walks to cast their vote, and Na flipped Farty off as he came back to sit down.

It was all too much, yet par for the course as far as tribal councils have gone this season. As Probst said, considering the fact that Na is still in the game in spite of the way she behaves, we should expect her to be in the finals. I mean, I expected Na to go off but still pull out her immunity idol afterward, but she really ain’t scurred of these people. And after all the drama, Farty’s gone! Aww, no more of that wonderful nickname.

Quite the episode, huh? Are you happy or sad Farty was finally voted out? And what in the world could be happening in the next episode to make people so… whatever they are in the preview clip?

— Anthony Williams
twitter.com/anthonyw_ent

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