'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' recap: Terrifying journey into the mind of Camille Grammer

I thought she was self-aggrandizing. I thought she was a bit of a snob. I thought she wore the baggage of being married to Kelsey Grammer on her sleeve.

Before the show last night, though, I had an inkling that maybe I was being too rough on poor Camille Grammer. Her marriage was imploding, after all. 

I was wrong. My mouth hung open like a trout's as the credits rolled, jarred by how dreadful of a woman she seemed to be last night. 

Other things happened on the "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" this week. The ladies shopped. Adrienne Maloof's uncle died. Lisa Vanderpump and permanent houseguest Cedric made floral arrangements for one of her restaurants. Yet the whole thing was a blur — all that I can remember is Camille. Narcissistic, manipulative, wealth-flashing Camille.  

Let's recount: 

— Adrienne calls to say she can't come because of her uncle's passing. The first thing Camille does once she's off the phone — after, of course, beckoning for Nicole, the house manager, to come take the phone so she doesn't have to hold it — is express astrological concerns that this could mean something bad for her.

—She goes to see soon-to-be ex-husband Kelsey Grammer — my, Frasier sure is looking old! — and has invited all the wives out there with her. She visits the apartment that she "designed" in an earlier episode. But she laments how small it is. It's "confining," she says, and she's used to more "substantial" estates. She doesn't know if she can manage to live in a home that's a mere 3,000 square feet — which, according to what little knowledge I have of New York City real estate, is a Taj Mahal of an estate in the Big Apple.

—Her mother — who has cancer — lives in New Jersey, but Camille's so busy that she arranges to visit her mother while she gets her nails done. Camille complains to her cancer-stricken mother going through chemotherapy about the exhausting "battery of tests" she had to go through to see if she might have the same disease. She whines of how tired she is, and how difficult her life is — again, to a cancer patient, as she gets her nails done. (Her mother, it appears, didn't get her nails done.)

—Now, the even juicier stuff: We've talked in past weeks about Camille claiming that Kyle told her that no one would be interested in her without Kelsey there. Snippy thing to say, and I stick to what I said before: I don't think Kyle actually said it, but I believe Camille truly believes she did. Even if she did, I don't think it would be without merit. To paraphrase a line Joe Biden once used, a sentence for Camille is a noun, a verb and Kelsey Grammer. 

The whole scuffle hung over the New York trip like the ghost of Jill Zarin. ("Get a hobby," anyone?) Kyle preemptively took Camille aside and apologized, calling it a miscommunication. She claimed she would never say something like that. Camille insisted she would, and did, with her eyes strangely bulging from their (cough, cough, surgically tightened) sockets. 

But the two ended making up, and hugged. It's all good now, right?

No, no. 

At dinner 20 minutes later, according to Lisa Vanderpump's count, suddenly the wounds weren't healed for wounded Camille. It erupted between the two of them in an awkward and totally not-classy dispute that can basically be boiled down to this: 

CAMILLE: How dare you call me insecure.

KYLE: You are, you're crazy!

CAMILLE: Why must you keep throwing all these jabs at me?

KYLE: That's B.S., Camille.

And it seems they basically recycled some variant of those lines over and over again. It concluded with Camille saying she hadn't made it up. "I swear on my mother," she said, "who has cancer." (Classy.)

Kyle retorted that she needs psychological help. Immediately. 

The screen cut away to an interview with Camille, talking about how she had the upperhand by keeping her cool. "Sorry, Kyle, you lose," she said, with a nefarious cackle.

I was dumbfounded by the spectacle. The show was coming to a close, and I just stared at the screen with the discombobulated gaze of Kim Richards.

***

O.K., fellow Show Trackers: I need to hear from you on this. Where do you stand on this? We don't have the good fortune of actually seeing the conversation at the center of this squabble. Do you agree with me, and think that Camille manufactured this? Or is Kyle really the one at fault? 

-- Rick Rojas

Photo: Camille Grammer. Credit: Adam Olszewski / Bravo

Comments

[teamkyle]

I agree with you and I'm on Team Kyle. What is it about Camille's voice? So sweet sounding yet dripping with insincerity. The day my best friends are my employees is the day I'm going to check out.

[Erika Berry aka clipcleany]

You are dead on on your anaylsis of the show, yes I love her trying to tell her mom how tired and afraid she is of maybe having a cancer gene sitting there looking at a woman who has cancer....wow incredible. Kyle said sorry even if she did or did not say it. She said sorry to her face. Camille is getting something out of this and that is more airtime so she will not let this die. Camille is completely insecure to have to keep repeating how small her apt in NYC...I don't think it's her apt that is small....

[Christi]

I think Camille is either "on something" which distorts reality or she has a mental disorder which would cause dillusion and paranoia. I totally believe Kyle's version of the story.
P.S. Camille's crazy eyes are even crazier than Ramona's!

[eric]

Good God. You actually watch this stuff? What's wrong with YOU?

[BAA]

I was dumbfounded by what I saw last night, and I do agree this was manufactured (esp. given her "I win" speech at the end). Furthermore, I wholeheartedly agree with Kyle: Camille needs serious psychological help. That woman appears to be completely delusional. I've never been a big Kelsey Grammer fan, but I have a glimmer of why he may have left her. Ugh. Her screen persona is beyond horrid.

[Ann]

Camille's behavior on last night's episode was truly disturbing. Every scene she's in makes me so uncomfortable.

Why would Kyle respond to Camille saying that Kelsey wasn't coming to Hawaii with "Why would anyone be interested in you without Kelsey there?" That doesn't even make sense. It's a vacation, right? Why would there need to be interest in Kelsey in order for a vacation to take place. The woman is just bizarre.

I love Kyle. And I agree that Camille needs serious help. I almost started to feel bad for her in the previous episodes, but the scene last night with her mother was just disgusting; I will not be watching the show any longer.

[phyllis Weiss]

Who cares......Anyone that watches this? Has no life......To see a bunch of old women with plastic surgery beyond and hair extentions is just so ugly......They are all ugly......And ridiculous........YOu put this crap on the air and AMERICA watches it ..Why? Because it's better than dealing with their horrible lives.....Truth is? Living in Brentwood and being a native....This makes me sick....While you continue to do reality shows? No one is working in the biz while you take away the writers, and the necessary talent to produce shows of value...Instead.......If I wanted to see women back biting, and low level? I would go to Neimans and watch these morons.......Get a life.....

[phyllis Weiss]

Show Tracker you say? Wow.........You are low level as well............

[Jennifer]

This entire show is like rubbernecking at a horrible accident....you want to look away, but.... Just when I thought Taylor was the most disgusting of the group with her unbelievably over the top $60 thou party for her 4yo, I remember Camille sitting there talking to her cancer striken mother about how tired SHE is! Unbelievable, if you didn't sit and watch it for yourself. And maybe that's why we watch it. Not because we don't have lives of our own, but because these women actually make us feel GREAT about the lives we have! I love Lisa and Kim...Kyle on the other hand, had me loving her with her 'not going to take any crap' from Camille attitude, until I saw the $12 thou bday party for the 2yo. It doesn't touch Taylor's spectacle, but GROSS all the same.

[Trish]

Show Tracker--amazing analysis! I couldn't agree with you more, Camille's narcissism overshadowed every other aspect of the show. Her entitlement is astounding, I've never seen anyone who feels as though they are more deserving of things, and for what? Even when she does nice things for friends, she has to bring it up in front of the cameras ( like in the Hawaii episode). And while talking to her Mom she had to say "I'm so glad that Kelsey and I were able to get you a good doctor" (wow Camille, good thing you got that statement while the cameras were rolling). She is a prime example that while money may buy you a lot of things, it can not buy you class.

@Phyllis, why so angry? If you don't watch the show, why such harsh opinions? I have a full, amazing life, but curling up with a glass of wine to watch RHOBH is a guilty pleasure. Who cares? And while there is the standard reality-TV level of drama, Kyle, Lisa and Adrienne are amazing women with incredible lives.

[Maud Therriault]

Oh lordy, this show is fabulous! Kelsey Grammer has a long track record of marrying/impregnating trashy sleazebags (current flame perhaps excepted) and Camille should prostrate herself and thank her maker for that fact. On the other hand, she probably thinks prostrate is a male organ. And has anyone else noticed that Taylor's mouth is so stretched she bears an eerie resemblence to Caesar Romero as the Joker?

[Barton Fink]

I love Camille wholeheartedly and my heart glazes over with joy whenever the camera fixes on her bedazzled face. Yes, she's a bit schmarmy, but I truly love her. Seeing her go up against the absolutely dreadful Kyle is fun for me. Kyle is the real villain of this show. I think everyone is just confused because Kyle has a handsome Mexican husband -- she herself has no actual warmth or goodwill for humanity. Love me some Camille. Love her.

[SarahF]

You are right on! I feel like you've expressed exactly how I felt sitting there watching these two unravel.

[shanda]

Why would Kyle pull her to the side and appologize with an insult to top it off.I think Cammille Is insecure that's why that statement got to her so bad. Kyle said don't be insecure don't be shy not, don't be insecure you're so insecure.I know we are watching television and some things may be cut but what I heard was Camille saying that she felt like an outsider THAT IS INSECURE!! But the conversation ended with Camille saying lets put this behind us only to bring it back up. Hopefully we will watch Camille, watching herself look stupid on watch what happens or the ruunion show!

[Pam]

I believe Camille is what everyone is accusing her of. I can't imagine Camille is that good an actress. And an editor would have to work magic to make it look so bad.

I would hate to think this is the way to get attention for La Cage. That would thoroughly disgust me.

And I don't believe I would continue watching.

[Celia B from NYC]

Rick - I think we DID see the conversation between Camille and Kyle that started this feud - Kyle was asking her questions about her trip to Hawaii and was commenting on the difficulty in traveling with the family without Kelsey (if I remember correctly). She never said what Camille thinks she said, but in her analysis of what Kyle had said, Camille said it felt like she was asking her "who would be interested in you without Kelsey there". Next, Camille twisted her own panties into a knot because of how she interpreted Kyle's words. Now she believes Kyle actually said those words, which were actually her INTERPRETATION of what Kyle said. I guess she heard SOMEONE say them, but forgot that the voice that said them was HER OWN!

In real life, these narcissists are crazymakers. On TV - they are so entertaining! You go, crazy Camille!

[roo2223]

I'm thinking that Camille is nutz. I don't condone straying outside of a marriage but DANG I'm surprised Kelsey didn't run screaming from the building a LONG LONG time ago. Camille is conceited (although I'm not sure why), whining, rude, and honestly she just acts like white trash. Sorry that your husband cheated on you but seriously, you need to figure out what he was lacking in the marriage that made him look elsewhere. I agree, Camille has "crazy eyes" just like Ramona. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if she started eating gummy bears and lollipops very very soon!

[Irene]

I think Camille is the biggest fake person with the biggest fake boobs I have ever seen. She should be stopped in her tracks with her conceit as well. I don't know how sweet Kelsey ever put up with her insecure ways, good for him getting out from under her.

[georgecat]

And what was Camille talking about when she said her mother only had "topical chemo"?

[Tom Shadow]

I'm going to go against the grain a little here.

In a Camille vs Kyle contest I'm going to go with Camille.

I watched the initial exchange between Camille and Kyle in New York and I believe Camille. I believe Kyle actually said that about her husband to Camille. I think she had a sister moment with Camille and talked to Camille the same dismissive, condescending way she talks to her sister Kim. I think Kyle views Camille roughly the same way she views her sister. Kyle does believe that without Kelsey Camille would be nothing.

I think Camille can be superficial, her behavior with her mother was deplorable, and the fact she thinks she needs enormous amounts of space, and employees to cope with two children and one husband is sort of comically sad. The way she handed the cell phone off to an employee in this episode is sort of telling. Maybe I'm over reacting but it came off as dismissive, casually so, as though she's accustomed to treating staff that way. She comes across as new to wealth, and an entitled princess.

Yet still I side with Camille.

And frankly I'm impressed by how she handled herself in the face of Kyle's bullying. Kim and Camille should become friends because they have something in common and Camille could encourage Kim to stick up for herself more often. What Kyle absolutely needs is to be called on all the bs she pulls every episode.

I do believe Camille is pegging Kyle accurately. After the episode I just watched I believe Kyle is lying, and Camille is telling the truth.

I believe Kyle is furious she's being called on her bs, and resents that someone she believes is an entitled nobody, but for Kelsey, challenging her.

Now for something relatively nice about Kyle. Her husband is smoking hot! Just kidding. She appears to be a good mother, but I find I have to question that because if she's pulling the crap she does with her sister on camera, off camera, than she's no doubt teaching her children things they would be better off not knowing.