'Dancing With the Stars' results recap: Out of the end zone
Sadly, there were no victory touchdown poses Tuesday night. During this eighth week of Season 11, dashing football star Kurt “Crunch Time” Warner and his pro partner Anna “Can-Do” Trebunskaya got crunched right out of the “Dancing With the Stars” competition.
It was clear from the judges’ comments that the quarterback did not have quite the technical capacity to compete with some of the other more advanced contestants. But I’ll sure miss the former Arizona Cardinal’s positive energy, frying pan hands and his seven adorable kids.
Of course, Kurt’s elimination also meant that bottom-dweller Bristol Palin was safe to dance another week. And I have to say, the tenacity of the Pistol’s voting bloc is quite something. This girl has outlasted not one, but two pro athletes who had consistently scored more judges' points than she did. Though had Kurt received the higher scores from the judges for his dances on Monday night like he deserved, could this fate have been avoided? “Life isn’t always about winning and losing competitions,” the ex-NFL player stated graciously. Kurt is a stand-up guy, even in his flouncy fluorescent green shirt. So let’s give him his flexed- (or is it bent-) knee due.
The encore dance was the feel-happy routine of the season: Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer’s jumping jive. And as if for a reward for giving us that jolt of pure joy, the couple was spared from having to endure the hour under those harsh red lights and deemed safe from elimination right off the bat.
“DanceCenter” came back! I know some of you out there in Commentland don’t care for this segment, but I love seeing Loser Club inductee and Best, Worst Dancer winner Kenny Mayne’s dry humor on full display, pink tutu and all. Season Two runner-up Jerry Rice just seems to get more off his rocker with each passing season. This time, the ex-49er sported some fake eyelashes alongside those blinging face decals, and that blousy shirt that looked like a tequila sunrise with sequins went well with his random nonsequiturs. And sure, that one ad with Mark, Tony, and Len all passing by topless while Jerry demonstrated how to “pinch the egg,” seemed like a blatant show of skin (not that I minded). But we also found out why Len likes Brandy so much — turned out homeboy/head judge was casting his points for the X.O. Reserve liquor as much as he was for the erstwhile Moesha. “I love Brandy,” Len declared. “I look forward to Brandy every week.” “More like every day,” Kenny corrected. Ha!
Taio Cruz performed his hit “Dynamite” with able assistance from Chelsie Hightower, Tony Dovolani, Peta Murgatroyd, Kym Johnson, Dmitry Chaplin and Louis Van Amstel. John Legend and the Roots performed two numbers: The first was “Wake Up!” a nice, positive little ditty about forward thinking and living in harmony, accompanied by Cheryl and Maks, and Chelsie and Tony on double duty. The second was Legend-ary hit “Ordinary People,” with Mark Ballas and “So You Think You Can Dance” Season Five champ Jeanine Mason performing a lovely contemporary routine front and center.
And in a small preview of what’s to come during Season 30 of “Dancing With the Stars,” five young musical and ballroom wonders took the stage in a segment that managed to be simultaneously adorable and a sobering wake-up call to stop slacking already. Nine-year-old piano prodigy Emily Bear, who’s already performed at Carnegie Hall, ticked the ivories for a rendition of “Tutti Frutti” while pint-sized ballroom dancers Sophia Latessa, Tyler Golman, Rickie Taylor and Erik Linder jammed out a rocking jive. Thank you, kids, for turning out an impeccable performance, and for reminding me of how little I’ve done with my life.
What did you think of the results hour, ballroom fans? Can anything stop Bristol the Pistol? Should Maks and Carrie Ann just bury the hatchet? Was Bruno making a plug for that other reality show when he said Kurt was an American Idol?
Photo credit: Adam Larkey / ABC