'Dancing With the Stars' results recap: Tuned out

Here’s the story. Of a lovely lady. Who was booted after five weeks on the floor.

Wait, universe, something isn’t right. How could one of TV’s most beloved moms be eliminated during TV Theme Week? Despite earning a 21 for her “Brady Bunch” tango, Florence Henderson, a.k.a. Mrs. Brady, found herself on the lower end of the voter ratings, and the 76-year-old sexy senior and pro partner Corky Ballas soon discovered they were not picked up for the remaining episodes of “Dancing With the Stars.”

And while I think we all knew Mama Brady’s exit on the show was nigh, I don’t know if I was quite expecting this week to be her swan song. After all, she received a 21 — her highest score ever — for her tango, beating out both Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer, and Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas, in the judges' count. 

Whoa, nelly, Bristol and Mark are safe to dance another week! Perhaps the dancing ape suits mobilized the burgeoning simian population to vote. The low-scoring teen advocate from Wasilla, Alaska, was not relegated to spending most of the results hour underneath those red heat lamps as she and Mark had predicted. In fact, both she and fellow bottom-dwellers Kyle and Lacey were rushed into the safe zone in the first few minutes of the program. Rather, it was Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough, and Kurt Warner and Anna Trebunskaya Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke who spent the better part of the hour sweating under those red lamps in jeopardy.

But first, the encore dance was courtesy of Brandy and Maksim Chmerkovskiy, who reprised the infectious quickstep that earned them this week’s lead spot. And like royalty, they stayed sitting in those courtside seats at the end of their routine while the rest of the crowd stood up and cheered around them.

To continue with the TV theme, there were spoof infomercial ads, such as one for adhesive Easy Steps, which takes the routine out of your head and onto the floor, and the two-pack DVDs of “Bring It Like Bruno” and “Bring It like Bruno: A Little Harder,” which showed the raucous ballroom judge in a black wifebeater and thick gold chain bringing a side of raunch dressing to key dance moves such as “the pencil sharpener” and “the naughty puma” (and showcased some ab-tastic support from Lacey and Mark). And a couple of this season’s also-rans came out in good fun for the Larry H. Parker-esque spot about lawyer David “The Sledgehammer” Hasselhoff fighting for injured dance competitors’ rights (“Two left feet? No problem. Bad judges scores? No problem. ... Drop the Hammer now!”).

Jason Derulo came out and performed two numbers: “In My Head,” replete with Janet Jackson headset and Michael Jackson moves, and then a pared-down version of “Georgia on My Mind,” accompanied by two pro contemporary dancers.

The feel-good portion of the hour went to the Mwano family, refugees who escaped the tumult of their native Congo. The five upstanding brothers performed a lively cha cha with our pros in honor of their mother, who loves the show so much that she races back from work so she won’t miss a minute. 

But wait, there's more! Perennial “DWTS” favorite Shakira arrived on stage, singing her latest single “Loca.” It’s always a party when Shakira comes to the ballroom, as the entertainer fits so well into the “DWTS” world: She wears glittery things (she held a galaxy of sparkle in those pants) — not too much though, of course — and can shake her bon bon with reckless abandon.

But what do you think, dear viewer? Did the right person go home? Were people too skeeved out with the Mama/Greg Brady flirtation to vote? Does Tony have a beef with Carrie Ann? Sound off below: “Do it like Bruno, and do it now!”

-- Allyssa Lee

Photo credit: Adam Larkey / ABC

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Comments

[Skye]

It is absurb that Bristol and Mark were spared. She is an absolute joke and favoring her over Florence is very sad. Disappointing.

[Joy]

Is it the tea party that is keeping Bristol afloat...that girl can't dance....has not one iota of rhythm..she needs to go home to Alaska. Florence Henderson at 76 danced circles around her.

[alana morgan]

It was not Kurt Warner and Anna Trebunskaya who stood in jeopardy with Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough - it was Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke.

[fred]

Seems that there is something wrong with rating system. Or perhaps people are saved because they put on a good show while dancing and off the dance floor. Actually I thought Bristol would be gone this week.

Perhaps it's time to watch a different channel at that hour. LIttle Oder coming from this show. Florence Henderson wasn't the first older adult booted early on.

[Erika Brazinskis]

Bristol is a very lovely girl and has a sophisticated poise about her which is endearing. Unfortunately, at this time in her life she has not proven that she has either "musicality" or "rhythm". Florence Henderson danced beautifully with such grace and passion that I think all viewers sensed this in her performances. She always knew the steps and danced in sync with the music and her wonderful partner, Corky Ballas. Kudos to them both for sharing the beauty of their partnership in dance for millions to see. Florence what a lovely lady!

[Erika Brazinskis]

Bristol is a very lovely girl and has a sophisticated poise about her which is endearing. Unfortunately, at this time in her life she has not proven that she has either "musicality" or "rhythm". Florence Henderson danced beautifully with such grace and passion that I think all viewers sensed this in her performances. She always knew the steps and danced in sync with the music and her wonderful partner, Corky Ballas. Kudos to them both for sharing the beauty of their partnership in dance for millions to see. Florence what a lovely lady!

[Chris]

Florence is the first 'super-senior' to actually know how to dance (unlike Cloris, Buzz) but I still think it was time for her or Bristol to go, so I was satisfied with the results.

Contrary to my initial response to her (prejudicially based on my opinion of her mother), I have come to quite like Ms. Palin, but her dancing is not very good, and she needs to go next week.

[Kelly]

Of course Palin and/or Kyle Massey should've been eliminated, but they clearly have a bigger fan base or else they would've been gone.

Henderson looks and dances great for 76, but she also seemed to be the first person to say so. Her dancing wasn't the reason she was voted off, it was her rather transparent superior attitude...constantly reminding people how old she was, how hot she was, how long she'd been in show business, how the judges were wrong or unfair, etc..

A little humble pie can go a long way...

[Beth]

Florence was robbed!!!!! At least Florence takes dancing seriously and has accomplished more than anyone else on DWTS her age and a few much younger. It is excrutiating to watch Bristol week after week. She has no personality, has that vacant look on her face along with the obvious: she can't dance, hasn't learned to dance and never will.

[Cho]

Bristol should have been the one to go. Her best dance was her first dance. It's been all downhill from there. I think viewers assumed Florence was safe, so they didn't vote for her. Plus I don't think most Florence followers know that you can vote more than once through email, phone, text, etc. First the Sitch, now Florence. There's really no one interesting left on the show. Audrina is vacant and vacuous while Brandy is wooden on the dance floor and irritating in her packages.