'The Bachelorette' finale: Roberto is Ali's last man standing

 
Am I the only one who actually cried during Monday night's finale of "The Bachelorette"?

If you're a hardcore fan of the series -- or, you know, if you've been in a supermarket checkout line over the last few months -- you've seen the misleading headlines about Ali's final decision. There were a number of media outlets that seemed to imply that Ali chose to be single, a la Kelly Taylor on "Beverly Hills, 90210." (The original, you guys. Come on.)

Leading up to the men meeting her family, Ali said several times that she and Chris were like friends who had started to fall for each other. That doesn't exactly scream "marriage!" to me, but looking at them, I can practically see the black lab they'd one day own and the 2.5 children they'd one day dress in Vineyard Vines seersucker shorts.

Roberto said all the right things during his visit with Ali's family. It's no secret that I'm Team Chris, so I'll just say that Roberto's suave lines have never felt particularly authentic to me. That said, he is incredibly sexy. And since his flannel shirt is working for him, I'll forgive that chain he's wearing. (Man-jewelry is a no-no, boys.)

Beth and Alex, Ali's parents, seem to like Roberto fine. I can't imagine introducing a potential husband to my family this way. Awwwwkward.

Chris has a creepy number of things in common with the Fedotowskys. He's from Massachusetts, he's French-Canadian, he's a teacher just like Ali's parents. It's possible that he fits in with them almost too well. The "Really? Me too!" conversation can get you only so far.

Beth prodded Chris on details about his mother, which, to me, seemed a little bit intrusive for the first family date. Chris took it like a champ, though, and I got a lump in my throat when he described his mom making him breakfast-for-dinner. Chris has such a collection of vivid memories of his mother; I love when he lets Ali in on them.

In the end, it seems like Ali's family is mostly Team Chris, though her dad seems to like Roberto an awful lot. I think her siblings are just wooed by Chris's promise of Red Sox games.

On Ali's date with Roberto, they do everything a couple should do in Bora Bora, and they also swim with sting rays.

Really? Those things killed Steve Irwin! They're slimy! They come up out of the water as if to say, "I am Sting Ray, here to attack you and pierce your heart!" Not cool.

They end their night in Roberto's cabana, where he says that he's "absolutely" in love with her and they make out a whole bunch. Okay, he's really, really sexy. Ali is choosing between sex and apple pie, here. It's kind of a no-brainer.

It's all over during Ali's talking head, when she blurts, "I love Roberto." I don't think that any other Bachelor or Bachelorette has revealed that before the final rose is handed out. Sorry, Chris -- I'll come hang out with you in Cape Cod.

Chris's date starts of... badly. Ali pretty much pulls a Frank, giving him a friendly man-hug at the beginning of the date and then darting around like a squirrel about to be made into road kill. Chris knows right away that something's wrong.

I really respect Ali for breaking up with Chris now, before he chooses a ring and gets all gussied up, but I wish she'd cut to the chase. Her whole "just because two people have fun together doesn't mean it's right" speech is a little bit condescending. In the end, she blurts, "I'm in love with somebody else."

Chris takes it like a trooper. He thanks her for being honest and wishes her luck, sending her off to Roberto like a parent shooing their kid into their first day of school. Look -- Chris is going to make a great dad, someday, and a great husband. It's not his fault he can't speak Spanish or salsa dance!

The real kicker is that after Chris' heart is broken, he sees a rainbow, which earlier in the season he told Ali is a sign his mom is there, watching him.

I cried. A lot.

ABC, do you control the weather? (And did you write the screenplay to "Glitter"?)

On the day of the final rose, the show tries to build tension by making it seem as if Roberto may not propose, but it's unnecessary. We're all already suckered in.

They finally get Ali's clothes right with her gauzy gold dress. Honestly, it's a good thing, because she's spent the entire season wearing muumuus and mom pants and tie-dyed C&C tank tops.

I swear, ABC finds the most hilarious places for these proposals to happen. Roberto has to climb about a million stairs in Bora Bora in a full suit -- and remember Tenley's mile-long walk of shame last year? Ouch. Chris, at least you didn't have to hike to the top of a mountain to get dumped.

When Ali tells Roberto that he's the only guy here today, I get all teary-eyed again. Gross. I'm such a girl. And then they start up with "Can You Feel The Love Tonight"? I confess, I completely sang along.

I'll make the "After the Final Rose" recap super short: Ali and Roberto are still in love and still engaged. Chris L. is still a stand-up guy with a good heart and the prettiest smile. Frank is still a weasel who didn't show.

Thoughts, Show Trackers? Are you sad it's over? Will you miss Ali's gigantic tent pants? Do you think she made the right choice? Did her pre-emptive dumping ruin the ending for you? Do you think Frank and Nicole will be happy together? (Blech!)

Sound off in the comments below. It's been real, kids!

-- Carina MacKenzie
twitter.com/cadlymack

Photo: Ali and Roberto get their fairy-tale ending, complete with an Elton John soundtrack. Credit: ABC

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Comments

[Barb]

As a point of information given above: Chris' dad is who made breakfast-for-supper; not the mom. The mom was a nurse working 3 to 11 so his dad cooked the supper meals.

I'm glad Ali and Roberto are together! They fit.

Just my opinion.

[marty]

Glad it is all over. I can't smooch around with guys and then go from one to another saying things like I think we can make a go of it and promising or making the person feel like he's the one. Ali acted a little spoiled and immature. Her constant laughter made me cringe. I have this feeling that after all is said and done, Roberto is going to dump her. He doesn't seem genuine to me....another Jake??? Moving a bit fast???? (Ugly ring by the way)

[Anna]

It was the Dad who cooked dinner for breakfast, however, I totally agree with everything else you said.

I think Chris was the best choice, and was more long term husband material. Roberto might be suave, but that only goes so far. Yes, Roberto is fun & has "cute dimples," but it should be interesting how things turn out.

I think it was a good thing that Ali & Chris's relationship was going at a more normal pace...I mean, come on, you don't fall in love & get in engaged in 3 months...especially when you start off with 25 guys.

I think if Ali didn't see how great Chris was, he deserves someone who fully appreciates him for how sincere he is and that is a better fit. Even though I would have chosen Chris, I do wish Ali & Roberto the best.

As far as Frank goes, woof, he should have been out of there a long time ago.

[Cheryl]

I loved the way it ended for a change. Can you say ZERO chemistry with Chris? I don't care if it was scripted, you can't change how uncomfortable they both were with each other...they were like college buddies but when it came to romance, zippo.

I think they are a cute couple and hope it works...for a change. He's suave--sexy---yes...but just because he looks great doesn't mean he's a bad guy.

Jake is a jackass and there's no comparison. Fake as can be, that's Jake and he looked like a poser from day 1. Way too "happy" and "Wonderful"

I'm wondering why no one has noticed that Chris has some signs of a heavy drinker? reddened hands, red face...and reports that he boozes it up with the ladies at local bars (I don't live far). WHY is he a great catch? He's a "nice" guy yes...but he's 33 years old, far too old for Ali and you'll never take the down home out of that boy. Cape Cod and Cali are two different places.

[Dara]

I'm glad Ali chose who she felt was right for her. Both guys are great. I enjoy listening to those people who are "team so-and-so"...cracks me up. It should be based on who Ali seemed to fit with the best, not who seems like the best guy to a commenter. Chris is wonderful...he was my favorite and who I would personally choose (for me), but it was obvious the chemistry wasn't there on Ali's part for him and she chose correctly. So happy for them and we'll see if it works now. :) Second, it also cracks me up how some are complaining how Ali irritates them...don't understand why those particular commenters watch the show if the main character irritates them. Huh? Don't get it. Great blog!!

[megan]

i think choosing roberto was perfect i was team roberto the whole way even though chris was a wonderful guy no denying that right?! i think roberto loved ali if not more then just as much as chris ad i think she made an excelent choice... still feel bad for chris bt he will meet the special someone someday and be great!

[Linda]

Barb is right. It was Chris' dad who made the french toast for supper. Carina must have had tears in her ears. None the less, Ali chose the right guy for her. She and Roberto just plain fit. They liked the same things; they are at the same place in life. They both enjoyed action and fast toys and dancing in the street. I think, if the world doesn't play too much havoc with them, they can make it. Chris ran at a slower pace, more gravitas. He seemed like a super guy and I think he should find a 30-year-old teacher; someone down to earth that wouldn't mind getting a little dirt under her fingernails (landscaping?). Ali wasn't it.

[Caroline]

I totallly cried/ when My Chris saw the rainbow...he really was shaking his head like..yah...I understand Ma...there is something better for me than star struck little twirps..Ali needed a ROMEO...and let us all see some of the fame ...15 minutes of salsa dancing ) on DWTS...Chris will find someone who loves him for his total authentic self....thanx Chris for showing us what a man really is....from a die hard fan i guess w/no life///AT LEAST he had his one shining moment!!

[kim]

I didn't finish reading this, but had to go to the end to comment how awesome you are for siting the original bachelorette - Kelly Taylor! :)

[Maureen]

Hilarious. I could've written this myself. Love the 90210 reference. I TOTALLY thought NOTHING about the sting ray swim was cool or romantic or whatever they tried to make it seem. And thought the exact same thing about Steve Irwin! Love Chris, he is a class act-he handled the break up well, like a good man does. Still think he would've been a better pick. And I too sang along (my husband did too-shhh!). He also was yelling at Ali through the TV screen for not picking Chris (all while sitting on the couch with the facade of looking as if he was actually on his computer looking at sports). And, someone please give Roberto a fan or a towel, my goodness! Sweaty head, sweaty lip...yuck! Yes, I'm sad it's over. I think Bachelor Pad is going to suck. No I won't miss her pants, but I'm a comfie pants kind of gal, so I can't judge too much. No I don't think she made the right choice, but I think Roberto is a good guy. No, the pre-emptive break up didn't ruin it for me. And I think Nicole is going to wish she hadn't ok'd ABC to reunite them-Frank, who works at Abercrombie has no idea what he wants in life, so good luck, Nicole!

[Reesa]

I was always for team Chris for the marriage factor. He has experienced life and what it can be like. He knows that marriage is a work and you don't just see someone get out of a limo and feel the chemistry. Give me a break....It had me in tears when Ali was going on about how she really liked hanging out with Chris but wasn't sure if that was how it was supposed to be. She needs to mature quite a bit and realize that life is about spending the time with someone that you are comforable with. You can spend the time in the same room and just know that you are loved. I wish Ali and Roberto the best but I don't give it more than 6 months and they will be done. Chris I wish all the best to him and sincerely hope that he finds his love and she will be loved forever.

[Sandra]

You're wrong about one thing.... Chris said it was his DAD who made them breakfast for dinner, while his mother was working as a nurse; she started at 3 in the afternoon.

And yes, I cried over the rainbow. Sobbed like a little girl, if you have to know.

[laila]

My bosses are STILL crying.

[josee]

i will miss the show - i love Ali and Roberto ...i really think they are made for each other..sorry Chris,
you really are a good guy, but you need to put the past in the past and focus on the futur! Go back to your dayly job has a teacher. Can wait to follow Ali & Roberto. Hope we will have the pleasure to watch them get married in the near future. I think they are the best couple from the past Bachelor and Bacholorette shows.

[Shar]

I am so sad that she didn't pick Chris! Yes, it's about what's best for her, and I know she chose with her heart, but all season she's been saying she gave up everything to find her husband...but I think she chose "the fun one" and not the one who was more husband material. I think life with Chris would have been full of love and forever...I'm not sure the lust with Roberto will last a lifetime. But I wish them well, and Chris is wonderful-he will find a woman who loves that he wants to take things slow and build a foundation instead of just jumping into the physical side of things.

[Tee]

Yes, I too teared up. First, at the obvious love that Roberto and Ali share while watching them during the proposal. Then again during the Chris rejection and the rainbow. Wow, amazing timing. Who isn't a believer after watching that???

I am very happy for Ali and Roberto and wish them the best, with a long life together and lots of babies. I hope they beat the odds and prove once again that love can happen anywhere. I find nothing insincere about Roberto. He's not my type, but he is very sexy

Once again - good recap Carina. But, what's wrong with men and jewelry??? I find it odd that anyone would restrict jewelry to women. It all depends on the man and how it's worn. Please. Any since when are loose fitting, comfortable bottoms considered mom-pants??? Are either you or Ali mothers? Probably not. Plus, I think it shows confidence when a woman doesn't always feel the need to wear skin-tight clothing to prove to everyone what a hot body she has. Besides, loose fitting, lightweight, sheer fabrics can be VERY sexy and also the coolest to wear in hot weather.

[Tee]

Oh yes...the Stingrays! What's up with that???

Sure the idea of them swimming with the rays is amusing and all, but I too couldn't stop thinking of Irwin! Are there different species of Stingrays that don't stab humans to death? Those in Bora Bora looked a little too aggressive for my liking . . . all hoping up out of the water like cute little pets . . . NOT!

Before the Irwin tragedy I would have thought that scene endearing.
Creeped me the hell out! Yikes!

[Brad'll Do It]

I read a few comments, and didn't see anyone remarking about how Ali responded to Roberto's strength, his "I'll take care of you" attitude. How many times did Ali remark that Roberto makes her feel "safe." That's not just lust. Feeling safe with someone means you can communicate openly, and open communication is the key to "long-term" relationships. Roberto seems to be a "take charge" kind of guy, and Ali seems to need that. Maybe it's my definition of love at first sight: "the instant, subconscious recognition of complementary neuroses," but I think they are just a really good fit emotionally, and wish them the best.

[Laura]

I'm all for Frank....smart man. He got the hell out of there while the getting was good. Go Frank!!

[ebonii]

I like Cris as well, but did not think he was Ali's type...She likes fun things and going fast etc ...Cris was driving so slowly snails pace on the motor cycle lol.... He does look like he likes to have more than one drink ...Roberto is more her type they are like two kids together...I wish them longevity in their relationship.