Ronnie & Sammi: ‘Jersey Shore’ romantic comedy or romantic catastrophe?
They’re the star-crossed lovers of “Jersey Shore,” destined for a lifetime of smushin’ but with all the odds stacked against them.
We watched Ronnie and Sammi’s whirlwind (and very tan) romance blossom during the hit MTV show’s first season. But these days, the two just can’t seem to make it work. Sure, Sammi’s there to hold Ron’s hand when he gets a tattoo. But she’s the “Sweetheart”; it’s almost part of her duties with a nickname like that. Meanwhile, Ron has lessened his fist pumps and spastic dance moves when out in the clubs in favor of hooking up with grenades and land mines while declaring his love to Sammi once he returns home.
And every week, we shake our heads as an ignorant Sammi welcomes a fumbling Ron back into her bed. It’s maddening. And her lame attempts to prove she’s not “that” girl (you know, the one who lets herself be naïve to the shadiness) just makes it more maddening. The repeated “I’m done!” proclamations are exhausting. Her decision to ignore the name-calling is infuriating. (When a dude calls you the B word or the C word, that just isn’t going to work.) The “I hate you but I’m going to take care of you” statements are downright ridiculous. But I mean, let’s be honest, who are we to judge? We hate the whole fiasco, but we watch anyway.
But for those bored with the Sammi and Ronnie saga (or those who simply think devoting an entire episode to their relationship is unnecessary), here’s your chance to do a small bit for humanity.
Fans who check in to PHILO while watching "Jersey Shore" on Thursday at 10 p.m. will be prompted to vote on whether the pair should “makeup” or “breakup." Those in favor of a tanned fairy tale will win the Smushin’ Sammi award; those who oppose more smushin’ will win the Single Ronnie award. It's like a modern day "Love Connection" -- minus Chuck Woolery. OK. Maybe not.
But wait. It gets better (or maybe worse).
PHILO will pull together the results of the poll to officially petition MTV and 495 Productions for spinoff shows: a reality docu-soap, "Ronnie & Sammi 4Ever,” or a reality dating show, "Ronnie’s Creepin’ For Love.”
Maybe we’d be better off watching a jar of Snooki’s pickles chill in the fridge.
So Show Trackers, what vote would you cast? Pro-Ronnie and Sammi? Or Anti-Ronnie and Sammi?
Photo: Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola and Ronnie Ortiz-Magro visit a Miami tattoo parlor. Credit: Jeff Daly / PictureGroup
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