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‘Entourage’: No bro left behind

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Everyone was getting some sort of bum deal (for better or for worse) in this episode, cheekily titled “Bottoms Up.” Part of that may have to do with the casting of adult film star Sasha Grey, who arrived this week for a multi-episode arc as Vince’s new bed buddy. Apparently, Grey is known to be an “anal specialist.” But this episode made sure to reveal that the independent film actress was fleshed out to be more than just her profession. She also reads books (“some of them don’t even have pictures”)! She starred in Steven Soderbergh’s “The Girlfriend Experience!” She got her porn name from an Oscar Wilde tome! (Though not to be, ahem, anal about it, but the name of Wilde’s protagonist was spelled “Gray,” not “Grey.”) She can craft pancakes into many shapes!

She’s also quite the morning drinker. “What better way to start the day?” Grey asked when Turtle hauled in a case of Avion tequila to grease Vince’s wheels and get his buddy to sign on as a spokesman. Too bad uppity E was having none of it — Vinnie is no Aunt Jemima (and thank goodness for that).

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Vince was, however, a soused-up lush who was clearly intoxicated by Sasha’s presence … and by those tequila shots. The possible Air-Walker took a Vicodin for his ailing back earlier in the day, which, along with the Avion, made him very touchy-feely with his adult companion and very loopy during his meeting with “Braveheart” writer Randall Wallace and Marvel Comics legend/porn watcher Stan Lee.

Wallace, however, wasn’t as charmed by the unprofessional Vince and his companion as Lee was.

Despite taking Sasha’s note and changing from a gray Bicycle card tee to a more fitted striped henley, the fact that Vince came into the meeting reeking “like Mexico” and remained in constant contact with Sasha did not sit well with the screenwriter.

Also not sitting well: news that Lizzie Grant was making a bid for Ari’s clients. Actually, that one had Ari flat-out rubbed the wrong way, and poor Mrs. Ari (and Lloyd, come to think of it) was stuck on the angry receiving end. So to keep his valuable clientele, Ari pulled out all the stops. He put on his client-chasing hat and personally arranged meetings with Mike Tyson and his motley brood, a neglected Jessica Simpson and “The Social Network’s” Aaron Sorkin (who maintained that Ari was still a worthy heir to the Massengill throne) — all of whom were leaning toward signing with Grant. “If I’m going to have an agent, why can’t I have one that’s attractive, bright and attractive?” Sorkin asked.

Props to Ari for being quick on the draw and for trying to wrangle these potential defectors together (“Write something serious for her,” Gold suggested to Sorkin about Simpson. “Like Mariah in ‘Precious,’ except younger and Southern”). Kudos to Jessica Simpson for a) her convincing portrayal of a pissed-off pop star with a love of dogs and a disdain for her former agent (“Daisy was a Malte-poo. That’s just a poo”) and for b) having enough of a sense of humor to appear in a episode alongside a mention of John Mayer’s infamous quote about her as “sexual napalm.” And yay to the “Entourage” writers for allowing us a few precious, yet fleeting moments of the old Ari and Lloyd, together again.

Ultimately, though, this client recommitment ceremony may not work out for the über agent, as Lizzie has joined forces with Amanda Daniels (Carla Gugino). Fans remember that Ari royally screwed Daniels out of a studio exec position way back in Season 3. Now, Daniels was more than ready to return the favor of screwing Ari right back — and she has Lizzie’s journal detailing all of the agent’s offenses from the last six months to make that happen.

Drama, sadly, was also getting screwed from behind. Turned out the wannabe sitcom actor was hustled (again) by pingpong playa John Stamos. Rather than pursuing the new series with Drama, Stamos sent the script instead to his “Full House” mate Bob Saget, who immediately cottoned on to the part (in the words of Stephanie Tanner: How rude!). Apparently Saget and Stamos have been itching to do a project together since “Full House” shuttered. “It’s not called show friends. It’s called show business!” Drama raged, to no avail. Adding insult to injury was the news that the network was also behind this semi-“Full” reunion. So Drama ended up being the poor, unemployed actor left out of this bro equation. And while Saget’s blond companion offered to give Drama a consolation job, it wasn’t quite the position that Drama was looking for.

The same could be said for Sloan. Poor dutiful fiancée was trying to appease her husband-to-be but just ended up being the sore recipient of an uncomfortable and unsuccessful back-end deal.

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But … what did you think of this episode? Who got it worst in the end: Sloan, Ari or Drama? Think Sasha Grey is a good asset for Vince? Bob Saget: crazy like a fox, or just crazy? Would you back Mike Tyson in a black “Brady Bunch”?

— Allyssa Lee

Related:

‘Entourage’: Couples therapy

‘Entourage’: Bid for greatness?

Complete ‘Entourage’ coverage on Show Tracker

Photo credit: Claudette Barius / HBO (2)

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