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'The Bachelorette': Vienna interrupts Jake, and some stuff happens to Ali, too

Interrupting
I missed blogging last week's "The Bachelorette" due to some unforeseen circumstances, so let's make this week's double-the-awesome. First of all, I can't start this without a round of applause for Ali, who made Rated R look like a scared little girl as he limped away muttering pathetic excuses. She was obviously more angry than she was sad, as she should have been.

The best part was the voicemails played over Justin's whimpering exit. So not only did the love of his life call Ali to bust him, but she also turned over all of his private voicemails? Give up, Justin. Your dating life is so over.

Now on to this week's episode. Is there really any point to watching this? ABC pretty much gave away the entire season in last week's teaser. Thanks, ABC. I'm so glad I've been avoiding spoilers.

Tonight's episode is highly anticipated not because of any Ali drama, but because Jake and Vienna will make their return. Earlier today my mom texted me, "They have a visceral dislike for each other, and all I saw was a preview!"

Yes, my mom uses words like "visceral" in her text messages. Just to be thorough, her next two texts were "Ali is a dodo" and "Jake is a turd." Thanks Mom. You're famous now.


This week, the lovers are in Lisbon! It looks so beautiful I practically want to mute my TV and just watch all the gorgeous scenery… particularly when Ali starts spouting quotes like "Life may not be a fairy tale, but love can be!" I think she just wrote Taylor Swift's next hit single.

I'll admit, Roberto is quite romantic on their solo date, but I think he's romantic in sort of an obvious way. "Are we the only ones dancing in the street? I don't care!" doesn't sound new or original to me.

He renders her a bit speechless while they sip wine at the castle. "I thought Roberto was too good to be true, but I feel like he really is just that good," she says.

Next, Ali has a two-on-one with Frank and Ty, and her hair looks so much prettier than it did with Roberto, but I don't understand why she's wearing dorm pants and a cami to this particular date. Everyone is so awkward. Which genius decided to make the two-on-one date an intimate dinner? Couldn't they have gone hiking or climbed a glacier or performed in "The Lion King"?

I find Ty really endearing but he was raised with women filling traditional gender roles, and Ali has no plans to be barefoot, pregnant, and cooking dinner any time soon. She's worried about what Ty's family will think of that, which is a valid concern. Also a valid concern: Ty's man-jewelry.

When Ali steps outside with Frank, he mans up and tells her that he lives with his mommy and daddy. (OK, so he doesn't exactly use those words.) He gets so nervous about it that it's completely adorable! Ali seems to agree, which is a relief. She'd live in a tree with him. I probably would, too.

When it's Kirk's turn, Ali is still preoccupied. So am I, Ali. Can we get to the Jake/Vienna celebrity death match now, please? I'm so over watching Ali nod and smile through lunch and a horse-drawn carriage ride (with wine, of course). All Kirk can say is "Wow! There's horses! Wow! This is so…."

Finish your sentences, Kirk. All the cool kids are doing it.

The best part of Kirk's date is that Ali gets really honest and vulnerable with him. "I'm just worried that I won't be good enough one day," she says. Unfortunately, she's asking Kirk to make her a promise that no one can make. How do you know how you're going to feel in a year? You don't. Love is a leap of faith! Oh, god, the quote-speak is rubbing off on me. Alikirk

I can't be the only person who noticed that when they stand in the palace listening to the music, Kirk doesn't ask Ali to dance. Roberto will dance with her without any music! What are you doing, Kirk?

Chris L. is my favorite, but I'm not sure if he's Ali's favorite. "I can't be the dude who kills the bachelorette! That's just not going to look good at all." He always seems so relaxed and happy, unlike my other favorite, Frank, who is always a gust of wind away from a panic attack.

Watching Chris talk about his mother melted me. MELTED. All capital letters. Though he's opening up and baring his soul, Ali seems much less enamored of him than she was of the other guys. She's not climbing all over him and constantly interrupting him with her tongue.

They go to a winery. "I feel like a winery is the perfect place to sort of let loose." No kidding, Ali. Why's that? I hope she gets wasted. I love drunk Ali; she's such a goof.

Chris gives Ali a bracelet made by a family friend, and I could just tell how important it was to him. He looked so nervous and emotional! If she sends him home after this, she's completely heartless. "You made me feel all warm inside," he says. "What does that mean?" Just give me a moment: awwwwwwwwwww. OK; I'm back just in time for the rose ceremony.

Thank God! She gives Chris the first rose. I honestly didn't see that coming. Rose No.2  goes to Frank. Now that my two faves are safe, I'm going to go pour myself a glass of wine. I can't imagine what made me think of wine… perhaps the 47 glasses Ali drank in the last hour and a half.

Roberto and Kirk get the next two roses. I guess Ty's "traditional family values" didn't sit very well with Ali's ambition. I genuinely feel sad for him though. He seemed to get along so well with the other guys, which is always a sign of a really genuine person on these shows.

This is the most dramatic goodbye yet. They stand in the rain, there are tears, there's wind. It's like a movie, except that in a movie, a director would never let Ali use her whiny baby Snooki voice. Waaaaah. Pickles.

Finally, it's time for:

Jake and Vienna: The Showdown!

Screen shot 2010-07-05 at 10.08.32 PM Why is Chris calling this "the shocking break-up"? Nobody on the planet is shocked that Jake and Vienna are dunzo. I guess it's a little bit shocking that Jake is so horrible, but we all know he can't be as boring as he seemed on his show.

First of all, I have to ask. Do the Bachelors sign a contract saying that they have to do an "update" if they break up? Because this is just cruel and unusual. Chris keeps saying that he's sorry they're there, but… he can't be that sorry. To be honest, I find this really difficult to watch. No one should have to talk about their break-up on national television. I don't feel that Jake and Vienna owe the public an explanation at all.

Jake comes out playing the victim and insisting that he didn't do anything wrong. "I cannot even fathom her doing this to me," he says before Vienna joins them.

I really feel for her. She seems so lonely, and he seems so cold and dismissive of her feelings. At first, she does sort of appear to be making excuses for her own bad behavior - whether that bad behavior is allegedly cheating on him or going to the tabloids. But when Jake interrupts to snarl, "I'm so mad at you, I'm so disgusted with you," everything goes south.

He accuses her of text-message flirting with him after "selling [him] out to a magazine for payment" and then she throws back, "You're a fame whore, is what you are." Zing!

"My impression was that you were a pilot, and we were going to go back to Florida and Dallas, but all of a sudden, we're in L.A. and you're pursuing a new career in acting," she says.

Jake claims to still be a pilot and to have flown last weekend, but nothing about the weird smile on his face suggests he's telling the truth. Then Vienna says that when her dog was in the hospital attached to IVs, Jake told her, "I'm so sorry your dog's so spoiled she can only maintain one relationship at a time."

Uh… how many relationships are dogs supposed to maintain, exactly? Sorry her dog hated you, Jake. Dogs are good judges of character. And you're creepy.

Finally, we get to the subject of Gregory Michael, the star of "Greek" who Vienna has been accused of having a fling with while Jake was filming "Drop Dead Diva." The network bleeps Michael's last name. Why, I don't know. It's been all over the Web. Next, Jake insists that Vienna was with a "single guy" at her apartment on Saturday night. A single gay guy who brought her a dress. Scandalous.

It's also revealed that Vienna has given Jake her ring back twice. She says they were break-ups, he says they were "little temper tantrums." Way to invalidate her feelings entirely. What in the world did she keep going back to?

Vienna also blames "Dancing With the Stars" and Twitter for her feelings of loneliness. Love in the 21st century, ladies and gentlemen.

I think my favorite part is the childish "I dumped you!" "No, I dumped you!" fight. Guess what? Nobody cares! (We do care about the dog, though, Chris Harrison. Just FYI.)

"Baby, be quiet while I'm talking," Jake interrupts her. Next, he's going to club her over the head and drag her back to his cave. He claims that her interrupting him undermines and emasculates him. He's emasculated by the GPS, too. He's also emasculated when she uses measuring tape. I'll refrain from commenting and just let that stand on its own.

Vienna says that his other excuses for not sleeping with her include that he wanted to wait for marriage or that he was fasting. Because as we all know, men can't have sex when they're hungry.

This was a pretty interesting "update." If you ask me, Vienna came out of this smelling like roses. What are your thoughts?

I'd tell you what my mom texted me after the show about Jake, but her language wasn't exactly Los Angeles Times appropriate. (For the record... I agree, Mom.)

--Carina MacKenzie
twitter.com/cadlymack

Photos: Top: Jake yells at Vienna for interrupting him. Middle: Ali and Kirk on their date. Bottom: Vienna cries after she interrupted Jake. Credit All: ABC
 
Comments () | Archives (67)

I disagree. IMO, you're being way too nice to Vienna. I say this because I saw Vienna on the Bach show & she acted spoiled, immature & manipulative then. So I think she would throw hysterical temper tantrums and try to emotionally manipulate by 'breaking up' multiple times. Tonight she talked 1,000 miles a minute, wouldn’t let Jake get much in AT ALL. To me, that shows a seasoned arguer. Jake never stood a chance. Not that I actually believe he deserved one. Once he picked Vienna back on the show I lost all sympathy for him. You reap what you sow Jakey pooh.

Vienna certainly showed her true colors tonight, and how not to treat a man.
This is why relationships take time and should take time, but as for the producers of this show is there someway to increase the level of interview with these contestants so immature rants like this don't play out on national tv?
This perhaps would have been better received on Jerry springer and Vienna could have gone on by herself.

I once thought Jake was awesome! His tv personality was awesome! He is a REAL jerk! Mistake Jake! for going of television and showing your true colors! I was never a Vienna fan, but I think is telling the truth. I wish her the best and hope I never see Jake on tv again. Don't give up your pilot license.... your going to need it to pay your bills!


Jake is CREEPY, he IS emotionally abusive and emotionally immature, unavailable, too good for anyone but himself, dismissive and potentially could be physically abusive. He's a whiner and juvenile, WHO would stay with HIM, RUN VIENNA RUN~!!
She has emotions and is being real in the interview, she is behaving perfectly normal, if he would have told me one more time to stop interrupting him, rolling his eyes, giving that condescending crooked smile... I just want to say, she is a better woman than I because I would have backhanded him right in that smug little pouter of his. Going on and on about her getting a job, PLEASE, BE A M*A*N JAKE, she JUST moved there, she's wrapped up in YOUR world trying to find her way...this, 'on your dollar' BS stinks!
There was nothing there Vienna because he has nothing in there, he is a void stuck on himself, NO ONE can fill that but his own ego...well, maybe Tennly, she seems to be an old fashioned girl with no mind, no opinion, no life... perhaps he should call her. Again, RUN VIENNA!

Who knew that Jake could make Vienna look good! She comes off as authentically confused and hurt. I think her heart really was in the game.

Jake, on the other hand, is just a tad too "smirky" for me. I began noticing a long while ago that his smile is all in his face and not in his eyes. I think he may WELL have picked Vienna because he could later ditch her and have the ground all laid out for making HER look like the bad-girl. He is the worst kind of dog -- he actually used her and broke her heart. The cad.

Who cares whether she gets some $$ for telling her side of the story. It does go with the territory, and she needed a foundation, too. He got his mileage out of her....why shouldn't she get a pay-day to be dumped by him, as he likely set her up to fail from the get-go.

I say she'll realize down the road that she has been spared a fate worse than death...marriage with a cold, dismissive, manipulative "taker."

I think JAKE sucks ass, a jerk, and fake. I thought he wasn't real on the Bachelorette, I can't believe they even offered him to be the on the Bachelor. I feel bad for her, And I think Jake isn't being honest. Vienna I hope you fine a great man that can treat you better and have more respect for you. Like my husband, we have been together for 10 years and he would never disreguard my feelings. Sham on you Jake sham on you, I hope you learn from this. Keep your head up Vienna you WILL find the perfect one!

Are you kidding me? Vienna came out smelling like a rose????? Are you married??? Haven't you seen Jon and Kate Plus 8??? Men NEED to be respected just as much as women NEED to be loved. Can't you see that it goes both ways?? IF she felt loved, she would have given him the respect he needed and if he felt respected, he would have given her the love she so desperately needs. And THAT is the ROOT of their problem, hands down! And that is also the secret to a successful marriage! Grow up!

Totally disagree. I think Jake looked so much better tonight than Vienna. Aside from his facial expressions he kept composed. This issue with Vienna is that she lacks maturity to be in an adult relationship. God forbid if something seriously goes wrong in her life! What a prima donna!!! Laughed my ass off when she complained about moving back home and then changed her tune because now she just got a job and wants to stay. Her "friends" and family probably don't want her back! This she even eluded to! Who is a fame whore?? hmmmmm......

Jake is a jerk. Vienna, you are better off without him. Chris, you get paid for this? Yikes.

I never cared for either Jake or Vienna and still don't. Jake comes across as artificial and it is easy to picture him lying to get what he wants. He does seem like a fame whore since DWTS. Consider yourself lucky to be rid
of him Vienna and go on with your life. Jake go back to flying Hollywood has enough sleaze already.

This was a disasterous interview for Jake. He reminded me of Christian Bale's Character in American Psycho.

Hmmmm. Ok, I admit, Jake was kind of a jerk, but seriously? What up with Vienna running off at the mouth? Of course Jake never kisses her, she never closes her mouth long enough for him to get in there! And what exactly is wrong with waiting until marriage to have sex? I feel like we were watching two very different interviews. They should make the bachelor/ette live in the house with the others. Jake would have seen through Vienna on the first day, because just like she annoyed all of the other girls, living with her would have wised him up long ago. He may not be perfect, but he has put up with her whining and moaning and simpering for this long and not smacked her, i think he deserves a freakin medal. She left him, and ran directly to the tabloids to tattle, and then has the nerve to get mad at him for granting an interview after the fact? Perhaps Vienna has lost her little mind....
Go Jake go!

Vienna doesn't deserve any accolades in my opinion She is a spoiled brat and has no class. She is a controller and I mean big time. Jake is controlling to some degree also and put the mix together and it is dynamite. I can imagine how mad he is at her making all that money from the tabloids and exposing what should have been private. I could care less if they had sex or why. She should have stayed in Florida and not moved in with him until she was married. Apparently, a non-married couple living together sexually is acceptable, but in my neck of the woods, it is called either adultry or fornication. They are both at fault in my opinion, but I wanted to slap her myself because she wouldn't shut up and let Jake talk. I think he just gave up on trying to defend himself because he saw what a fool she was making of herself. I think he did the right thing and I don't blame him for banging his fist. Man, how much can a person take of this kind of behavior on her part. She needs to go back home to daddy so he can spoil her some more, but of course everyone in Florida turned their backs on her so she has to stay in LA. What does that tell you?

I follow the Bachelor about as closely as I follow the going-ons in the spoon-as-a-musical-instrument industry, but I'd seen enough of Jake on Dancing with the Stars to know the dude part-timed as a giant D-Bag. His appearance in the DWTS finale with Vienna? The most uncomfortable part of the evening. And that's including a dance that had Kate Gosselin hoisted above the audience in what I can only assume was a cherry picker.

Listen, any time you use the word "baby" and it's not to ironically quote a Justin Bieber song, silkily shoot off a term of endearment, or identify a wee little infant, YOU ARE BEING A JERK.

Thus: Jake = turd, agreed!

I don't like either, but Jake sat there quietly while she told her side and tried over and over and over again to answer Chris' questions about HIS side and was interrupted time and time and time again. He barely got out two sentence before she was running her mouth again.

He got what he deserved for choosing her IMHO!

Jake is a total phony and an abuser. I've never been a Vienna fan but she seemed much more sincere. I'm glad she's out of that situation. I felt really bad for her. I hope she's okay. He's brutal. I hope he can't get work in the industry. He seems too crazy and angry to fly so I doubt he can fly again. He's the worst.

I think jake is fake. Vienna is right he wants just to be on tv.Did you see how hard it was for him not to snap.But after a while his true colors came out.I dont think jake should ever get an acting job again and vienna should be the next bachelorette and i hope she finds real love in jakes face.GO VIENNA GO!All i heard jake say was lies to make himself look good. He could care less that she was even crying even if you break up with someone you still care if they hurt.All he cared about was how do i look on camera.There is something really weird about him.

Keeping composure does not mean Jake handled the situation better, it means he is sneakier and plays the game better. Because this should not be a game and Vienna could not hold back because she was truly frustrated and appalled by what has been happening and I 100% know he is abusive. It's all in the facial twitches AND body language. It takes two to tango, BUT it takes one to be psycho.

What a disaster for the producers of The Bachelor -and ABC for that matter, to air this putrid laundry and call it entertainment! They should be VERY ashamed of themselves for this extreme exhibition of pooer taste.

Most of us have had a selfish lose-lose encounter somewhere along the way and have been in an incompatible, highly combustible situation at some point or another. We can just THANK OUR LUCKY STARS that reality TV wasn't invented yet!!!

They are clearly two wounded individuals who are acting out the unconscious scripts that were passed down to them. Vienna has an enmeshed & creepy relationship with her blue collar biker Dad, and Jake's parents seem very uptight, controlling and overly proper. What does that spell? Psychological crash and burn...but did we all have to inhale the toxic fumes in such excruciating detail!?!

I hope the producers and the network catch lots of hell for airing this, and that the ratings go DRAMATICALLY DOWN - and FAST. I for one am DONE watching this pathetic show, and so are the friends I watched it with!

Can I just say OMG! This was THE most dramatic interview in bachelor history! Seriously I think we can all agree that it takes two to tango but I was absolutley appalled by Jake's behaivor. As much as I was against Vienna from the start, now I am PRO Vienna! I am sooo not surprised that Jake is in fact a fame whore. I mean come on...going on DWTS, moving to LA, and wanting to become an actor all in the same breath! Helllooooo...couldn't be more obvious. I totally agree with the other comments about his creepy fake jake smile and his insensitivity. If a psychologist analzyed the situation or an expert on reading people and body language you can tell there was something not right with Jake. I really hope he doesn't get picked up for an acting gig. There are enough phonies and talentless people in hollywood that don't deserve the quick easy buck. Vienna was annoying I have to admit with not letting him talk but I cannot get over Jake and how fraudulent he came off. Vienna you are better off without him but after this I think you've both ruined your reputation and image and will have difficulty meeting genuine people.

 
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