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'Real Housewives of New Jersey': Broken heels and clumps of hair

Staub After two whole weeks -- TWO! -- the moment of unbeweavable proportions finally arrived. The moment where, in the midst of watching grown women prance around in heels screaming "coke whore," we as viewers pondered the ultimate question: Is it better to be called "honey," or a term more suitable for a female dog?

Before I could even weigh the pros and cons of both terms, extensions were being yanked and heels were being broken. When we last left off, Danielle was less than thrilled to see Jacqueline and Teresa chumming it up with Kim D. at the Posche fashion show. And Teresa, aka "the sweetest person," felt inclined to ambush Danielle in the lobby with a friendly "hello." Only the exchange got cuh-razy more than friendly. When Teresa uttered the word "honey," it triggered the cuckoo in Danielle and things went haywire. But more cutting than "honey" was the word Danielle offered up: foreclosure.

As if it wasn't awkward enough to see Teresa's extravagant housewarming party after it was revealed that she and her husband Joe had filed for bankruptcy, things became more awkward with Teresa's reaction to the F-word. It was as if that chinchilla she was wearing had come to life and strangled her. And she went straight into defense mode. Cue insanity, or as one unidentified attendee so eloquently put it: "This is ..." (go ahead, use your expletive imagination).

Teresa -- with a attitude-filled finger wave -- reminded us that she's from Patterson -- did you FORGET? Danielle broke a heel in her attempt to flee the scene. "Coke whore" became this season's "prostitution whore." Danielle's leather-wearing security guard looked lost. Teresa kept shouting "my house is not in foreclosure." Someone asked Teresa to show some class. Kim G. was freaking out over how much Danielle was freaking out -- "CALM DOWN!" And Jacqueline's daughter Ashley decided to help Danielle remove her extensions for the night. 

As Danielle sobbed in a Bentley, with Jacqueline standing -- creepily -- guard outside, it was time to digest it all -- that is, until I paused to process Danielle's driver calling Teresa a gazelle. When it's all boiled down: Danielle was -- both literally and figuratively -- the injured party in this situation. She was just minding her business, leaving the event, before Teresa provoked her. And Teresa knows she's at fault, why else would she feel the need to get everyone's opinion of her habit of using the term "honey"? It may not have been a euphemism for "I'm going to kill you," like Danielle believed it to be, but it was hardly friendly. 

Perhaps if Danielle was less dramatic -- all the "Get me outta here!" shouts and the sobbing was a bit much -- I would feel more inclined to be Team Danielle. But, just like the police, I wasn't convinced.

As if the behavior of the women isn't questionable enough, there's also the reminder that they are mothers. How can Ashley be expected to stay out of it when Jacqueline finds her Danielle-targeted Facebook status updates laughable? The saving grace in all this came in the form of Caroline and her brother Chris. While Chris put Ashley in her place, Caroline put it all into perspective: "[Danielle] got exactly what she wanted ... you gave it to her!"

Enough said.

Other gems from the episode: 

-- "Technically I didn't grab her hair, I grabbed her extension, so that's not really a part of her." — Ashley, to the police officer when asked about her role in the fight. 

-- "I would've been back in jail!" — Chihuahua-scaring Danny, on what his actions would have resulted in had he been at the scene.

-- The question the world has been asking for weeks: "Who's Kim G.?" — Joe

-- "All I can say is that takes a lot to take this kind of hair out, I mean these are beaded in to my real hair, that's my real hair that you ripped out of my head with this [shows hair extension]. And it hurts like hell ... and there's a small bald spot on the back of my head." — Danielle

-- Danielle has a personal trainer for her spirit. That’s not a joke.

-- "It's called Danielle," Jacqueline's response when Danielle's energist suggests there's an irritable energy that surrounds her.

-- Oh, and Albie met with his lawyer and is hoping to apply to a new law school.

So, Show Trackers, what did you think of the episode? Am I right in saying Danielle was the victim in this episode? Is Teresa really the sweetest person? Were you sad no ham was thrown around?

-- Yvonne Villarreal

Photo: Danielle Staub at the Posche fashion show. Credit: Bravo


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Comments () | Archives (31)

I was more sad no tables were flipped. Let's keep the tradition going, shall we?

I don't care for these two much but, when a person is sad and crying and afraid there is a time to be kind no matter what. On this show of all the housewife shows this family of housewives are just not nice people. I have given up the show now. I think we need to get this off the air it is not healthy for young or old. I am ashamed I watched these people act like this to make money. But I will not continue. I think Teresa is a nasty person who pretends to be rich. Danielle has a very sorted past but of the two she acts better most of the time. I hope they find happiness. Wow Teresa and her family sure set bad examples for the kids.

I can't stand Danielle. However, I do not feel she deserved what happened to her on that episode. Nobody deserves to be bullied like that on national TV, Kelly (from NYC housewives) needs to watch this episode and see what real bullying is.

Teresa started it all of course, and was it necessary to chase after Danielle? No. Did Danielle over exaggerate? Yes.

And I am so appalled by Ashley. I didn't believe for a second that she thought her mom got hit; She wanted a piece of Danielle, and she got it. She comes across as very fake and unconvincing.

I think Danielle should win an award for best Actress, Come on if she really wanted to leave why didn't she walk straight to her car get in and leave instead of going behind the brick column standing there shouting get me outta here. She was not injured, she could of walked to the car and drove off. During the entire seaon, she acts tough, and in this scene she cried like a baby, and she really poured it on when the cops showed up. You know she's bad company look at her friends hoodlum guys who are in and out of jail... Teresa, Jacqueline and Caroline really don't talk about her during the season, it's Danielle who is out for revenge. She so wants to be friends with those ladies and because they don't want anything to do with her, she's out to get them. She keeps saying she wants them out of her life, but every scene she's talking about them. Teresa, Jacqueline and Caroline, seem like fun, loving people,who are NORMAL. They do not dwell on Danielle. I think Danielle needs to leave the show. Now she's taking boxing lessons to protect herself.. I don't think the ladies our plotting to get her. She should take acting classes to improve her acting. Stop dwelling on the ladies Danielle and get a life!

I saw a couple of women baiting someone mentally unstable for the cameras. The pleasure has gone and its all guilt watching this show.

This episode was so funny and at the same time sad. I think Teresa and Jacqueline should have followed Caroline's advice.

I dont normaly like danielle, but come on she was definately the victum here. Teresa was 100% at fault. I love Ashley but she could be in some trouble for what she did, you just dont touch someone else.

ewwww she deserved it hahahahaahaha

I am not a Danielle fan but Teresa was looking for trouble. SHe was definatley the instigator last night. My Gosh she couldn't even tell her husband the real story of how it happened. I hope Teresa and Jaqueline's husbands watched and saw what really happened. The whole thing was really sad to watch. I dont even have nice words to say for Ashley. I hope Danielle does press charges against her.

Teresa egged it on.
Danielle played for the cameras.
Jacqueline set a terrible sample for Ashley.
Ashley was the only one who acted her age. At lease she has an excuse for her behavior. She is young and immature.

All the ladies Teresa, Danielle and Jacqueline acted like they were teenagers with no control.

PLEASE Danielle learn the difference between WOMAN and WOMEN. More than 1, is pronounced WOMEN!!! She shows her ignorance everytime she opens her mouth.

I love the show. Sorry, rich people are interesting to watch. Danielle...God bless this poor deluded woman. No offense, but she's not talked about as often as she'd like to think. The other ladies have better things to do. I like Jacqueline. I LOVE Caroline. Teresa...she's like the cool aunt. A little on the mean side but that's funny too. And sorry, the way Danielle carries herself, she's no saint. If I were Ashley, I would have dug deeper. She'd have gotten a lot more hair out that way. =P

I grew up in NJ and just recently moved out of state. I was raised in Paterson 40 years ago and was schooled in NJ, both High School and College. My sons are graduates of Rutgers...we are upper middle class Jersey people...AND NEVER have I ever been involved in anything resembling the insanity of these women nor have I ever witnessed the kind of behavior that has been televised on this show. Is it good TV?? Well, it certainly keeps your attention..but is it a true portrayal of "real" Jersey Housewives..not in my experience. If Ashley and Theresa and Danielle don't learn from this episode that their histrionics are unacceptable and embarassing, they will never learn anything!!!

Teresa has serious anger problems which under any kind of stress flares into inappropriate physical (tipping over tables) and verbal (taunting Danielle)explosions. Last night, she rapidly shifted from passive (I just want to say hello) to aggressive (shouting bitch and having to be physically restrained). She lacks insight and understanding of her true self (I'm a sweet person); and cannot tolerate any challenges to her falsely constructed self and world (the trigger for the aggressive action appeared to be when Danielle brought up the foreclosure). Teresa and her husband do have serious financial problems. Danielle made that public. Teresa lashed out because she could not tolerate the "reality" of that moment! What can anyone say about Ashlie? With Jacqueline, Teresa and Caroline as role models, indulging their own worst inclinations in daily life, why is it surprising that Ashlie is immature, directionless, self-centered and seriously out-of-control. Well now she has a record too. Everybody points at Danielle but this whole crew has serious mental health issues.

I get what everyone is saying but Danielle was not the victim at all. Maybe a victim of circumstances but not a victim overall. She had a bodyguard with her because she started spewing off her mouth to anyone that would listen about these women's business. I get why Teresa followed Danielle. She was saying "hey i'm here, address me and saw what you have to say instead of going behind my back"

In all honesty though, is Teresa's so-called foreclosure really our business. Just because it's in the media doesn't mean it's exactly true. Ashley was out of line but I understand her fire behind it. She thought her mom was being attacked, no time to think when your mom or sister or anyone you believe that's in trouble.

Overall, the Oscar Award for Lead Actress in a Drama Series goes to Danielle Staub. ****applause, applause****

Caroline was right, Danielle got what she wanted. No matter how or why it played out, she got her response from the ladies.

Danielle is really a psycho and they should all just ignore her & Kim who needs to get a life so many stupid rich bored housewives. They should all just care about their family

I'm wondering if I even watched the same show as those of you who think Danielle was the victim. Sure, she looked like one (which, of course, is what she WANTED to have happen), but when you start a fight and then have an extreme panic attack (which I'll try to believe that was, although I think she's now approaching Kelly Bensimon-crazy status), you basically get what you deserve.

I wonder what the point of giving Danielle TV exposure is any more. They can't have a third season of this show the way it's going.

The word is "sordid" not sorted.

My favorite part of last night's episode was when Teresa told her version of what happened to Joe. She should have her own comedy show.

Okay I have read quite a few comments and I feel like I am not the only one who is starting to see these women in a whole new light.

First off I dont buy the whole "you dont see what she does behind the scenes" line. Because they have NEVER once went into detail about ONE incident. Always alluding to more but nothing specific.

And while Danielle is an overly dramatic woman with a past. Danielle has been right all along.

First taking into account that these are all adults and parents, why was it necessary for Deana or Caroline or whomever to show the whole town (and nation for that matter) a copy of that book that was hardly thier reason for not liking Danielle but merely thier justification for it - and why to alert Jaquline and bring her back into the fold.

From last season till now Danielle has been the constant topic of these women and they have gone from party to family event talking about her, finding new ways to call her evil. Never once did they stop their high school taunt to remember Danielle has kids who are likely suffering from this as well.

Its all about family with the Manzos, yet no one outside of team Manzo gets consideration. It wouldn't have Killed Deana to pretend she was interested Dani and never called. But because she did not want Dani to have access she delibrately went after her. That's the plain truth what these women would never tell you and it shows in their kids!

But when Teresa tried convince others that she was offering an olive leaf then admit she wanted to "confront her about gossip" they all hit a new low! So what Danielle talks about them they do the same about them.

We all know that Ashley and the Kim's (a good band name) are all vying for the open spot Deana left and find it easiest to jump on the let's get Danielle wagon.

Come on she, no matter what Danielle sad or did in the past Ashley had no right to attack her and THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE DID!

The fashion show was in a huge room, and Kim D made up the seating (she said son in the last episode) So how was it the two fighting sides ended up facing each other across the runway? It stinks of setup.

Danielle was a victim, and let me be plain I dont think she is the type of person I could be friends with, but she didn't deserve that attack from all sides.

This show seems almost like an adult version of "the Heathers" or "mean girls."

Ladies Grow up! How about you stop trying to hide from your own troubles by making Danielle the demon and face the obvious truth NONE OF YOU ARE CLASSY.

And if any of you think the whole world is blind then you aren't smart either.

Danielle seek a real theropist you have issues that maybe if you yourself addressed these tacky women in overpriced homes and over inflated egos would not be able to push your buttons into crazy mode.

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