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Introducing the Did They Actually Say This? Awards

July 8, 2010 |  4:58 pm

In keeping with Thursday's Emmy vibe, we introduce a new awards race: the Did They Actually Say This? Awards.

To qualify for these trophies, Emmy nominees must reject our request for interviews and offer up nifty statements, issued by their publicists and most likely written by them as well. We received 11 of those on Thursday, and here's how they stacked up:

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In the BREVITY category, the winner is clear:

“It’s honor enough to be able to work with Al, Barry, Susan and Brenda. WOW."

That came from John Goodman, who was nominated for supporting actor in a miniseries or movie for HBO's "You Don't Know Jack." Not only was it one for the Twitter era, the writer could not be bothered to look up last names for us.

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In the LONG and BORING category, there were three nominees:

“This is incredible news!  Even to be nominated is such an honor, and such pat on the back for the TV and campaign teams and for the good people of Huntington, West Virginia, for all their hard work.  Balancing program-making with a real live campaign is always a challenge, so everyone involved should take this nomination as an encouragement to keep on fighting the good fight!”  -- Jamie Oliver, whose show, "Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution," was nominated for reality program.

“I am honored that the Academy chose to recognize my work on ‘American Idol’ and ‘Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution’ – two projects that I am both deeply devoted to. ‘Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution’ has inspired so many Americans affected by obesity while ‘American Idol’ has inspired millions to go after their dreams. I feel lucky to have been part of such moving programming and it has been an incredible experience to contribute to both shows.”   -- Ryan Seacrest, who was nominated as a producer for "Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution" and for reality TV show host for "American Idol."

"It's such an honor to be nominated for an Emmy and to feel part of the club! We're working hard on the show as we speak and it's turning out to be a great season, especially now that we're going to be 90 minutes. I'm excited to attend the Emmys this year. And who knows -- maybe sixth time's the charm?" -- Heidi Klum, who was nominated as a reality TV show host, and as a producer for "Project Runway," which was nominated for reality competition series

And the winner is: Jamie Oliver. We believe in his good work and we appreciate the fact that he calls TV producing "program-making." Sounds like something he'd bake.

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In the FORCED HUMOR category, there were three nominees:

"This is great news. We're grateful and excited. Especially since today is the fifth anniversary of the day NBC forgot to cancel us." -- Tina Fey, who was nominated for lead actress in a comedy and writing on "30 Rock," which was nominated for comedy series.

"Two nominations this year? That's fantastic. Maybe next year I'll get three! At that rate, by the year 2107 I'll be a lock for every single category. Wish me luck..." -- Neil Patrick Harris, who was nominated for supporting actor in a comedy for "How I Met Your Mother" and guest role for "Glee."

"This is such exciting news! It is such an honor to be included in this group of funny talented women! I am indebted to Tina Fey and the greatest comedy writing team on television. I am going to celebrate by eating a piece of cheese. Just kidding, designers, I promise, no cheese will cross these lips or hips until after the ceremony." -- Jane Krakowski, who was nominated for supporting actress in a comedy for "30 Rock."

And the winner is: Tina Fey. The "NBC forgot to cancel us" joke is recycled. We're green and everything, but you can do better than that.

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In the Painfully Grateful category, there were two nominees:

"I'm so grateful to all the people who poured their hearts and efforts into making 'O'Keeffe.' I thank everyone who worked on the film and am very appreciative that the Emmy voters have acknowledged their enormous contributions. Thank you!!!!!" -- Joan Allen, who was nominated for lead actress in a miniseries or movie for "Georgia O'Keefe."

"Once again, I am grateful and delighted to be nominated. And I am deeply indebted to Tina, Robert Carlock, Lorne, Marci Klein and Jeff Zucker." -- Alec Baldwin, who was nominated for lead actor in a comedy series for "30 Rock."

And the winner is Joan Allen. Doesn't she sound like she's won already? It means so much to her!

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In the Outstanding Achievement category, there is again a clear winner:

"I was relieved to see that the Academy spelled my name right and as I am now a free agent, Lebron and I will be announcing our plans later this evening."

That gem came from Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who was nominated for lead actress in a comedy for "The New Adventures of Old Christine." Not only does she get a pass for not doing phone interviews because CBS has canceled her sitcom, but she actually was funny and topical.

That brings to a close our 1st Annual Did They Actually Say This? Awards. If you want to avoid being nominated -- or worse, winning -- these distinguished awards next year, pick up the phone. These statements are as lame as our awards! (Except yours, Julia.)

--Maria Elena Fernandez
twitter.com/writerchica


Photos: (Top to Bottom)
John Goodman on set of 'Treme' in New Orleans. Credit: Carolyn Cole / Los Angeles Times

Jamie Oliver. Credit: Chris Jackson / Getty Images.

Tina Fey. Credit: Danny Moloshok / Reuters

Joan Allen at the Screen Actor Guild Awards. Credit: Jay L. Clendenin / Los Angeles Times

Julia Louis-Dreyfus on set of 'The New Adventures of Old Christine." Michael Ansell / Warner Bros. Television

RELATED:

Emmy voters did right by dramas and comedies but need a reality check

List of Emmy nominations


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