'Real Housewives of New York City': Latkes can't buy you class
All good things must come to an end. All bad things must come to an end. And, so, it was finally time to say goodbye to the Pinot Grigio, lollipops, jelly beans, expensive clothes and everything in between as the finale of “The Real Housewives of New York City” aired Thursday night. We made it through a whole season of LuAnn’s air kisses and French gibberish. How did we get this far? It seems like only yesterday we were searching for Kelly’s lost pants. But it’s not completely over. We still got the reunion show -- and judging from Jill’s volumed coif alone, we’re in for a treat.
But before we can get to the reunion bickering, lets reminisce about the season-ending episode. It started with Ramona making final preparations for the ceremony to renew her wedding vows with Mario. And the venue she selected was like a shot of cocaine on my eyes. I couldn’t close them. So much gaudy gold objects and ornate randomness on the walls -- it was as if the lalaland in Kelly’s head had come to life, sans the lollipops and jelly beans.
In a less coma-inducing side of town, Jill and Bethenny are having their long-awaited lunch. Jill tries her best to restore the friendship by accepting blame for her role in their deteriorating relationship -- she even baked latkes. Uh, what the heck was that about? Oh, I’m sorry Bethenny for all the anguish. Here, have some potato pancakes. Like, are you serious? Bethenny, meanwhile, isn’t really in the mood. Instead she gives her former BFF a reality check, saying that Jill’s sabotaged her relationships with just about everyone. Nothing is resolved, though Jill likes to pretend otherwise.
But before the ridiculousness of that lunch can even be processed, we’re greeted with deluded LuAnn. She’s hosting a CD launch party for her single “Money Can’t Buy You Class.” There wasn’t even an ounce of sarcasm on my part in that last sentence. Really, she’s hosting a launch party for her single. And we’re forced to be introduced to her new boy-toy Jacques, who said he wouldn’t have missed the event for anything in the world. Me neither, Jacques. Me neither. And before I could even get my ear plugs, the Countess was on stage giving the audience a “live” performance of her auto-tuned track. I’ve seen Britney Spears lip-synch better. But maybe I’m missing the appeal of this song. It seemed to provide an “Aha!” moment for Jill, who was so taken aback by the lyrics. It’s like she realized she was doing it wrong this whole time. Also, the random appearances by this Jen Gilbert lady are getting so uncomfortable. Bravo, why did you film her all those months if you weren’t gonna even make me care who she is?
In any case, the spotlight goes back to Ramona, as her big day arrives. A day, Kelly pointed, that felt “concocted.” Oh, Kelly, go distract your non-RSVPing self; grab your camera, ask people to do silly poses, and let the woman have her moment. The ceremony eventually starts -- after, of course, Jill tried to clear the air with Ramona. This “I’m sorry, but only because I have no friends, tour” she’s got going on is really maddening. I’m so glad it’s over -- mostly because it means no more one-on-one interviews with Alex offering her opinion while wearing that hideous blouse with the chain-like neckline. Where the hell did she get that thing? Whatever. Ramona and Mario exchange heartfelt vows and wrap things up with a mouthful of a kiss. No, really. Her mouth was consuming his mouth. It was quite disturbing.
And, finally, praise where it's due: Sonja Morgan has breathed new life into this series. Let's just hope her brush with the law doesn't mean the end of the straw that stirs the drink on "Housewives."
So ShowTrackers, what did you think of the finale? Overwhelmed or underwhelmed? What was your favorite moment from this season? Which one-on-one interview outfit are you glad to see gone?
-- Yvonne Villarreal
Photo: Ramona Singer renewed her vows in the finale. Credit: Bravo