'Real Housewives of New Jersey': The devil wears Posche?

This week on “The Real Housewives of New Jersey”: a whole lot of nothing. Not even a hairless cat. We miss you, Grandma Wrinkles.

One thing was made clear, though, about the “Housewives” franchise -- and it’s not the obvious “being crazy” list of traits. Apparently, having one family member named “Cookie” is required. There goes my chance! 

OK, OK ... on to the show.

We’re reminded of Teresa’s housewarming party. Why? I’m not sure. But Danielle’s name, inevitably, comes up. In fact, throughout the show, everyone talks about Danielle, or tries to get others to talk about Danielle -- you know, the usual. That woman’s ears must constantly be ringing. But she wasn’t the only one whose name was used more times than Kelly Bensimon says jellybeans. Kim D. -- not to be confused with Kim G. -- is a big player in Thursday’s episode. The Kims clearly are looking for their own spinoff, right? They’re like the two-faced version of  Laverne and Shirley. And, together, they’ve got the “Housewives” in the palm of their hand.

First, Kim G. gossips about Danielle to anyone who will listen at Teresa’s extravagant party. To twist the knife, Kim D. meets Jacqueline and Teresa for lunch and invites them to her fashion show -- seriously, I’ve had it with these fashion shows! 

Upon hearing about the guest list, a slightly (read: extremely) peeved Danielle, heads to Posche to confront Kim D. But Kim D. isn’t there. In her place is a receptionist/saleswoman (?) who, in Danielle’s eyes, has a whole lot of attitude in her index finger. When Danielle is asked to hold on -- the woman was taking a call -- she interprets that as a slap in the face from Kim D. I can’t explain it. It makes sense in her head. So, naturally, Danielle goes haywire. When Kim D. returns, things get wackier and Kim D. asks Danielle to leave the store. Psh. Like Danielle cares? Of course not. It just gives her a reason to storm out with her maniacal laugh.

In the meantime, Kim D. asks Ashley to model for her. Once that part of the manipulation is taken care of, she phones Danielle and persuades her into coming to the fashion show.

Yay! Finally something worth watching, right? Hardly.

After choosing between two pairs of high heels to compliment her leather leggings, Danielle and I’m-wearing-a-skirt-purchased-at-Baby-Gap Kim G. head to the fashion show armed with a bodyguard. And Danielle felt good. She knew everybody there: “I felt such warmth.” Pause for laughter.  

But things quickly become chilly when she spots Teresa and Jacqueline at -- dun dun dun!! -- Kim D.’s table. She was pretty much just a vessel of fumes, and she took out her rage by taking a cue from Paris Hilton (ever the role model) by pretending to be on the phone.

Once the fashion show wraps up, Teresa insists on saying hello to Danielle on her way out. And like Bravo always does, they make us wait not one, but two weeks to see the ultimate “Housewives” showdown, which probably will make the table-flipping episode of yesteryear a faded memory.

In other parts of the show, Caroline, searching for ways to remain a relevant fixture on the show, has lunch with two sisters (Gasp! One of them isn’t Dina!) and mopes about how her kids are leaving her -- though, none of them have actually moved out. 

So forlorn Caroline makes eyes at Albert in the kitchen, in hopes that he’ll consider retiring. When that doesn’t work, she tries sulking at the Chart House. Oh, Caroline. Just buy yourself a package of ham and call it a night.

Show Trackers, what did you think of Thursday’s episode? Would you watch a Kim D.-Kim G. spinoff or would you be too confused? Sad you have to wait two whole weeks to see the ultimate showdown?

-- Yvonne Villarreal

Photo: "Housewives" from left, Teresa Giudice, Ashley Holmes, Jacqueline Laurita and Kim D. Credit: Bravo 

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Comments

[mimi]

you ladys are stupid leave daniel alone.

[nancy]

Bravo is playing with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder and it isn't funny anymore. Danielle thinks of no one but herself. She has two children. In the past weeks she has put out a porno movie of herself, said she can't wait for 1 of her daughters to be a model so that she can buy Danielle a decent house, and now has hinted that she is (for the media and sales of her song and porno tape)a lesbian.
Where is the father of these children? She is screwing with the childrens minds.

[bloggermom]

I would love it if the 2 Kim's, who are sister-in-laws, took Dina's place!

[jacqueline Tellalian]

that's the problem with all of these franchises. the first season is great because these women are really unsure of themselves in front of the camera, but the second season and beyond always fall flat because they start playing to the camera.

I LOVED Season One, but I've already grown weary of the fake drama these women generate.

[cjacks]

Please Please Please Danielle has to go !!!she is an embrassment to all women and of course to jerey girls!!! she is not all there she needs alot of time on a couch and where oh where is the father to those beautiful girls somebody please save those girls she isn't in the right frame of mind to be a Mom at this time!!

[Nicola]

Danille needs to go she lies and exagerates, that lady in the store didnt do anythong wrong. That D woman thinks the world is owed to her and I think she has delusions. She is a wack job. I love everyone else.

[Dave in Northridge]

Maybe Bravo should spin off Danielle and Kelly into their own series and threaten the women on the Orange County, Atlanta and DC shows that if any of them develop any kind of personality disorder they'll go on the Danielle and Kelly show too.

[GirlieMac]

Can someone please tell Danielle that when speaking of multiple females, the word is woMEN, not woMAN. I can't take anymore of her kvetching about how "those woMAN blah blah blah"

[Cathy]

Teresa was an instigator in this week's installment. After 2 years of talking bad about Danielle, why would she want to say hello and make nice now?? Danielle is not mentally stable, Teresa and all the other women should just leave her alone. I can't stand Kim G., her squeaky voice gets on my last nerve. The woman has has so many face lifts, or so much Botox pumped into her, that she can barely move her mouth to talk. Kim D. is a lush. If the two Kims do get their own show, I won't be watching!

[Chadnnocal]

I find the behavior of the Italian family positively disgusting! Say what you want about Danielle, her children's involvement has largely remained isolated to moments in their home and while having diner. The Manzo's on the other have these plotting sessions where they encourage their children to participate in a very adult and potentially destructive public battle.

Also I am having a hard time understanding how Teresa is a "Skinny Italian"?

[kayla]

I think caroline should go she is old and too much time on her hand you would think she out of all would be the cool one. She started the whole turn on Danille mess and Dina did to but she is gone now Thank God! Teresa is mad for what idk, she just want to be part of something she don't even have a job just having babes to make an excuses why she has to stay home. The thing is that everybody was cool with Danille beside caroline old self and Dina was mad somebody came on dressed better than her. I truely think Caroline turned everybody against Danille because she did not know her and she was not apart of her wannabe mafia family. Futher more Danille makes the show plus everybody has some kind of pass let it be the pass that's what's wrong with america, Danille do you cause your daughter is the only one who has a a career. Jacqueline turn on Danille to for no reason and her daughter should not be feeding into it either caroline and dina is not her real family she need to be finding her birth father.lol.

[kayla]

They all talk about how they don't like Danille but insist on talking about her. it's like full of it they want to be cool with her but they started to much women drama like one's that have a life. Too all of them just go shopping and do something with your self instead of living off your husbands.:)

[Louise]

I used to love the Real Housewives and thought the show was great, but I am seriously concerned that Bravo is promoting a dangerous situation with Danielle and her body guards. They are being presented as connected to organized crime and I don't believe it would be entertaining if somebody got hurt in the name of reality TV. In my opinion, this woman is mentally deranged and the producers and other cast members are feeding her psychosis but pomoting this behavior and then watching her go off. I think the Housewives should take a page from The Hills cast and just quit filming with Danielle as she is a waste if air time. I miss Dina!

[Lori Gami]

I'm with the majority here about Danielle crossing the line from crazy-entertaining over to the crazy-dangerous side. Almost every single time she is talking to the camera during her by-myself sessions, you can see how her grasp on reality is truly fractured. I feel sorry for her kids and I feel sorry for her, to be honest.

Miss Teresa was quite the naughty troublemaker when she sat in that chair "just to say hi" to Danielle. Shame on her! If Danielle wasn't such a nut job, I imagine that whole scene would have been entertaining to watch, but because she is so imbalanced, it was a little scary, a little sad. I'm still trying to figure out, based on the "next week" previews who goes crazy and wants to cut a girl.

I miss Grandma Wrinkles, too -- along with her human Dina. Dina's departure after her tête-à-tête with Danielle says a lot and I still think someone's going to get hurt on this show if Danielle's descent into madness remains unchecked.

About the Kims? Oh, dear. What's to say except they're like withered bookends and are obviously playing both sides just to stir the pot. Caroline -- whom I adore watching -- has been pretty accurate in judging people's characters on this show and she was right again about Kim G. Kim D (does the "D" stand for "dim"?) seems clumsy and relatively harmless in her manipulations and I think she'd be easy to stymie if they just put a cosmo in her hand and sat her off in the corner.

[Jenny Holt]

The show is so middle school. This same theme could star 13 year olds and call it New Jersey Middle School Daily. This is not what women need to be watching. Hairless cats under the table. What is that all about? Danielle threating harm on others. Are you kidding. She is the bully in the Middle school and she has her criminal body guards to, what, scare people. That is what bullys do in Middle school, go get their friends.
These women are not portraying anything except silly girlish attitudes.

[Nursem8]

OMG! Teresa is certainly the instigator in this weeks episode....Ya just cant leave Danielle alone. YES, she's crazy BUT you just seem to be obsessed with her and you ALWAYS have your eyes on her! Could it be, Teresa, that you are secretly jealous of Danielle??? I mean...you ARE in a financial pickle right now AND she just might be making more money off her sex tape, song and infamous behavior than you will EVER see....just sayin'.

[Kristina]

I like the show last season, but this season just seems petty and childish. Alex (from NY) needs to tell these ladies that they are in high school. I think it was pathetic that Theresa's "just wanna say 'Hi'" stint seemed to be a ploy for drama. This is supposed to be a REALITY show, not Watch What Happens...wait that's Andy Cohen's show that comes on after the housewives'. C'mon, what did she think would happen? And, of course, we will not know everythiing for another 2 weeks. Boo Bravo! Boo for making us wait for something that seemed to be contracted from the get-go.

And the Kims HAVE to go! They are both publicity whores who will do and say anything for some camera time. C'mon Bravo, put some REAL women on from New Jersey, not all these fakes. I do like Jacqueline, Caroline, and Dina. Theresa may have some good qualities but the fact that her and her husband filed for bankruptcy just proves that she is a fake rich person. Danielle is just straight up crazy.

[Kristina]

Oh yeah I forgot to add that when Danielle called Jacqueline's daughter a coke whore...hey, it takes one to know one!

[johnnetta]

this is what i call entertainment.you go ho against class. i luv cable.

[JC]

I give this article 5 stars! I could not of said my opinions of the last episode any better than this article was written. I really used to like this show and after the last episode, I'm just like, whateverrr.