‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Dina (and Grandma Wrinkles) bids farewell

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Remember when TV crossovers were all the rage? “Beverly Hills, 90210” and “Melrose Place.” “Ally McBeal” and “The Practice.” “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and “Angel.” I’m waiting for the day when Bravo finally finds a way to join the “Housewives” of NYC and New Jersey for an episode. It doesn’t seem too far-fetched. All they need is a doctor’s office with ample space for a camera crew — where’s Dr. Drew Pinksy when you need him? Seriously, with the kooky antics displayed by Kelly Bensimon and Danielle Staub this season, there should be a new screening process for “Housewives” candidates.

We pick up on “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” back at Chakra as Dina attempts to sever ties with Danielle — and shushes her in the process. Danielle doesn’t take kindly to being shushed and also demands that Dina never call her “crazy” — EVER! She unleashes jabs that include “you’re as fake as that hair on your head.” (Did anyone else blurt out, “Oh, snap!” in that moment?) The episode marks Dina’s departure from the show, which we learn is a decision her cats fully support.

As Dina and her hair make their exit, Danielle’s lemmings — Danny and John — make their way inside. Danielle takes some liberties with her retelling of her meeting with Dina while poor John looks like he desperately wants to take a sip of the water Dina barely touched.

Also in this episode, we’re starting to see the not-so-nice side of Jacqueline. Whether she’s likening Danielle to a pig (I’m betting Caroline would love the ham game if that were really the case) or knowingly hurting Ashley’s feelings by saying she looks like a family member she clearly has no desire to resemble, viewers see a different side of the usually well-mannered housewife. Not to mention her budding friendship with Kim G. (who has worn out her welcome, in my opinion), the woman who is a maverick when it comes to manipulating people. Could it just be a strategy by Jacqueline to keep from looking like a pushover?

But there’s no time to give it all that much thought because Danielle and her entourage are hogging the air time. And in this instance, she’s using it to talk about that dude from last season. You know, the one she dated who claimed to be 26 but looked more like he was 56? Well, he’s back. He’s playing poker with Chris and the boys. And he’s the subject of conversation in Danielle’s house as she gabs with her posse about how he has taped their “moment of intimacy” (celebrity sex tapes everywhere are being re-marketed as I type this). She goes on to so shyly divulge her mating habits: “I’m not calm in the boudoir.” Which raises the question, is she calm in any other room?

As if that isn’t too much information, viewers later have to witness Danielle and her gaggle of friends as they try to work a stripper pole — as Danny ogles with glee. Kim G. struggles to wrap her legs around the pole, but it’s familiar territory for Danielle, a former “burlesque” dancer. She bumps, she grinds, and she offers this tip: “Always engage; then, suggest.”

On that note, I suggest you share your thoughts on the episode in the comments section. Are you sad to see Dina leave? What do you think of Kim G.?

Oh! Before I forget, to the woman who said Danielle had better arms than Michelle Obama: Uh … what?

And to the dudes behind the meat counter who listened as Chris and Albie schemed over what to do to Ashley’s boyfriend at the poker game, your facial expressions were priceless.

--Yvonne Villarreal

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