Totally massive summer TV blowout

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Hey, kids, it’s summer and, for better or worse -- you may have thought about getting off the couch now that the days are long, but, um, sorry -- a massive amount of new television is headed your way. Premiering series, returning shows, random one-night stands.

Once it was all about the fall, but summer is no bummer. We (the royal we) have done you the favor of cataloging a great deal of this coming product -- from the oh-so-kissable ‘Mad Men’ to a puppet-monkey in rehab (MTV’s ‘Warren the Ape’) to the quartet of famous human foxes starring in TV Land’s first original sitcom, ‘Hot in Cleveland’ (above). Name them and I will send you a penny, maybe. (Probably not.) I did neglect to include Starz’s eight-part adaptation of ‘The Pillars of the Earth,’ Ken Follett’s novel of 12th century England, but that just tells you what an unmanageable amount of new TV is bearing down on us. The report is online now, and will appear in this Sunday’s Calendar on keepsake newsprint.

--Robert Lloyd (twitter.com/LATimesTVLloyd)