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‘Bethenny Getting Married’: Baby mama’s (no) drama

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Bethenny Frankel opens her new spinoff reality series, “Bethenny Getting Married,” with this tidbit: “There’s a lot more to my life than ‘Housewives.’” Maybe, but that doesn’t mean there needs to be a whole show devoted to it.

Frankel’s biting wit has been one of the main reasons (if not the sole reason) I’ve tuned in to “The Real Housewives of New York City” season after season. She’s the reason why ‘Holy Inappropriateness!” is forever stored in my memory, with hopes that I someday come across a situation so inappropriate it would warrant such an exclamation. So my expectations for her new show were pretty high. Maybe I’m no longer capable of enjoying drama-free TV — the “Housewives” franchise can have that effect — but this spinoff was hardly must-see TV. It wasn’t even barely-see TV. It might have made for a worthwhile one-time special. But a series?

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Viewers are transported from the Upper East Side to TriBeCa, where new roommates Bethenny and Jason are learning how to meld their lives. And it ain’t easy. Bethenny wants icing for breakfast, Jason thinks it’s weird. Jason likes a crowd, Bethenny doesn’t; Bethenny wants a small wedding, Jason can’t fathom the thought — where’s David Tutera when you need him? Bethenny’s content with one kid, Jason, who seems to have a fetish for pregnant women, wants more — and he’d like to watch every aspect of the birth, if possible.

But this is Bethenny’s show, so she gets her way for the most part. That is, of course, unless Cookie is around. Given the choice, Cookie takes Jason’s side. Me? I take Cookie’s side.

To help navigate the Skinny Girl madness, upcoming wedding and baby preparations, Bethenny is on the hunt for a new assistant. Jason, who moonlights as a caveman, wasn’t hot on the idea of her hiring a straight male assistant. “What 24-year-old guy wants to hit this?” a burgeoning Bethenny asks. And, so, naturally, she hired a straight assistant. Anyone else think Nicholas was the better choice? I mean, anyone who knows that much about falafels is the person you want to befriend while pregnant. But she went with Max, the dude who, as he puts it, ‘schoozes’ up his hair (and the one Cookie took a liking to).

After basically peeing all over Bethenny’s in-home office to mark his territory, Jason was fine with the addition of Max. He even gave him a fist pound to prove it. That whole scene was awkward.

But it didn’t matter. Jason, who was intent on having a housewarming party, was leaving town on a business trip … on the day of the housewarming party! Can someone give this dude a clue? He was supposed to be back in time for the festivities, but a massive snowstorm snowed all over those plans. So Bethenny was forced to play hostess to the room of friends (who seemed to mostly be his friends). And, hey, look, there’s Alex and Simon! I guess while Jill is in high school, Alex isn’t always in Brooklyn. They mainly stopped by to inform Bethenny that parenthood will leave her brain-dead.

So, yeah, there was no mention of jelly beans or lollipops and no messages of meanness were delivered, but viewers see a side of Frankel that got lost in all the nonsense in that other show.

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So ShowTrackers, what do you think of the show? Will you continue to tune in? Did all the drama from ‘The Real Housewives of New York City’ reunion special leave me incapable of enjoying drama-free TV? Am I the only one who thinks it is Cookie who should have gotten a spinoff?

--Yvonne Villarreal

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