'Real Housewives of New York City': The Shutter Island of the Virgin Islands

Someone call the doctor cause Kelly has lost her mind.

What was I thinking? All this time I thought I was being helpful to Kelly by trying to find her missing pants. Now I realize I was just ignoring the problem. The search and rescue effort should have gone to finding her sanity. It’s hard to say when it went missing. Maybe around the time she wore those pink rain boots last season? Unfortunately, at this point, I couldn’t even give a description of it so people could keep a lookout. Just know that it will probably say “hiiiieeee” once it’s found. 

Now, on to the show.

We’re reminded that Ramona’s way of dealing with stress is by sipping a glass of Pinot Grigio or putting on a bathing suit, and we learn that Kelly’s coping mechanism is uttering random phrases like hmm, I don’t know, “satchels of gold.” Seriously. I tried to process it. Tried to do as Kelly preaches and make lemons into lemonade. To see how those three words could possibly apply to the scene in which Kelly (aka “rottweiler”) and Bethenny are bickering. Wasted energy.

But Ramona, still riding high on her Pinot Grigio buzz, got everyone back on their feet when she unveiled their next stop on their trip, which was some lavish beachside property...or the Shutter Island of the Virgin Islands.   

All it took was one bag of goodies to drive Kelly off her rocker. Bethenny gave the gals a SkinnyGirl bag bulging with “Bethenny-centric” products -- a little narcissistic, yes, but it didn’t rub me the wrong way in the same way it did Kelly. She looked cross-eyed while looking at the bag. And then started crying? Naturally, she calls Jill to complain about the trip and mumbled something about Bethenny stabbing her in a recurring nightmare. Jill’s solution? “Just be the lady that you are.” Uh … It gets worse. Kelly ends her phone conversation with Jill by saying she’s going to go smile. 

The next morning, Kelly and her complaint pad made their morning entrance. It seems Kelly wants the girls to write down their thoughts, crumple them up and read them later. Again, it gets worse. She also -- wait for it -- thinks she’s Annie Leibovitz. Suddenly inspired by her brief stint taking pictures on the street for that magazine article, Kelly suddenly thinks she’s a photographer. How can she, a person who doesn’t know how to operate a point-and-shoot camera, be a photographer and Bethenny can’t be a chef? Whatever. Kelly channels her inner Tyra Banks and takes the ladies -- sans Bethenny -- out on the beach for a photo shoot. It was all too weird. Between Ramona’s teeny-weeny bikini, Alex’s it-looks-like-she’s-in-pain walk and the lollipops sprinkled atop the blanket, I was so confused. As usual.

Later that evening, Bethenny tries to prove her chef-ness by making everyone dinner. Kelly’s already a bit nutty after Ramona and the gang make a big issue about her cellphone manners, so when it comes time to eat, she’s already on edge. She doesn’t want to sit across from Bethenny. She doesn’t eat the crab cake on her plate. But she did enjoy the salad portion of the meal. Hey, she even thinks Bethenny could have a future being Paul Newman. Oy. 

Then chaos ensued. 

There was white noise. Talk of the Brooklyn Bridge. A few “zip it” moments. Some mumbling about “This is free to be you and me, 1979.” Mention of vomit. Black eye makeup. The devil. Hookers. Al Sharpton. Gwyneth Paltrow. Jelly beans and lollipops. 

It was a mishmash of craziness. Through it all, Ramona was cradling her glass of Pinot Grigio.

Back in Manhattan, Jill tells LuAnn over dinner that she’s thinking of surprising Ramona on the trip as a way to make a mends with her and Bethenny. Translation: she’s getting tired of being Siamese twins with LuAnn. 

But the moment of the night goes to the cranky, off-camera skating coach. As Michelle Kwan, er, Jill Zarin, attempted to twirl on ice, the coach had this to say:  “I swear I never saw such ... in my life.”

Neither have I, sir. Neither have I.

So Show Trackers, what did you think of Thursday’s episode? What were your thoughts of Kelly in this episode? Anyone else think Sonja is a welcome addition to the group?  

-- Yvonne Villarreal

Photo: Kelly Killoren Bensimon. Credit: Bravo

Comments

[Dave in Northridge]

I've come to the conclusion that Kelly is clinically insane and we're seeing an unfortunate case of enabling by Bravo, by the production company, and by Jill and LuAnn. If something like this happened on , say, "Jersey Shore" or "The Amazing Race," I'm sure we would have seen the person engaging in Kelly-like behavior carted off to a psychiatric hospital for observation.

It's really not fun to watch.

[Jennifer]

Yikes, I was shocked and horrified. The Real Housewives of... shows are my guilty pleasure (not so much the OC version - I live in San Diego and see way too many of the tacky nouveau riche - no novelty there), but I just felt bad as I watched this episode. I felt bad, and yet I kept rewinding to make sure I caught everything.

It does seem like Kelly has gone around the bend. "My pal Gwyneth"? "Al Sharpton"? (Granted, it wasn't the best Jack Nicholson impression I've ever heard, but still, Al Sharpton? And she kept screeching it - "Al Sharpton! Al Sharpton!" "I am a woman and I have a perogative." (I swear she's said that before." And just watching her face contort so painfully...the mysterious disappearances as she flounces off, only to reappear (with jelly beans and "lollies"!) in what I think the viewer is supposed to see as a serene, composed mood, when it just makes people (well, me and some bloggers) wonder if she's heading off to maybe do some lines.

I'm with Sonja, who I loved, especially when she winked at Bethenny. Kelly isn't OK, and it was time to stop spinning her up. If Bravo execs behaved ethically, they'd retire her, but they'd also make sure they cover the cost of counseling, for her daughters' sakes. The show would lose a chunk of the lunacy, but I think that brand of craziness is running deep, and it's scary.

On a brighter note, the bitchiness this season is off the charts. I hope if I saw myself behaving badly, I'd stop doing the show, and I'm talking to you, Jill Zarin. For god's sake, if you're taking Bobby's plane to Saint Bart's or whatever Saint's you're winging off to, you don't need whatever Bravo is paying to get by.

[Rachel]

First I said ok a Bi-polar or schizophrenic WHO FORGOT To take their meds..(smile) But the more I think about how she acted down there. Was way more wacky then normal (if that pertains at all to her)?

The crying jags out of no where and the one min ok ..next SNAP...

LEADS me to belive... DRUGS ARE INVOLVED! She wouldn't have been able to take them on the plane with her to Fly down there. And started to withdrawl..
Anyone who knows an addict will agree on the behavior, Including HER SERIOUS PARANOIA! omg...

Models are known (and not saying all just as not all bi-polars and others are nuts if they take there meds as told.) So no attacks..
They do drugs in that world.. they live in and thinking..
" Kelly's World" and all the behavior makes me go in this direction with her. Makes sense right??

[Rachel]

Had to add this cause to funny not too. I Was shopping on E-bay. And still am, my insomia pass time. Anyway, Kelly has her own store on E-Bay selling Jewlery for now. ok was shocked..So, Well in looking in her Feedback..She has a 95.5 which for all she has sold (not much) is bad! And what is the FUNNY part.. In her what she bought feedback...I looked at what she recently bought from other Seller's (curious)
OK.Now someone said I think on this one? That was "narcissistic"
Ummmm OH YEAH! All she bought was get this...HER OWN BOOKS!! From 3 diff. sellers... ROTFL
Don't the publisher give her a free copy? (maybe she bought them as gifts for friend's or to put in gift bags) LOL
OMG hilarious! check it out she is under KellykBensimon
Oh! And 1 more thing, One buyer from her left her NEG feedback..
(smile) life is funnier then fiction.... PRICELESS

[erica stephens]

Fist,I disagree that Bethaney giving a gift bag of relevent supplies to all the girls was narssistic,what supplies should she have used? Revlon?.How that gesture was offensive is beyond me,except as I wrote weeks ago,the jealousy of Kelly would be an issue in the future.Kelly wants a husband badly and Bethaney won that race.And shouldn,t someone comment on the beauty of the yaght,the house the views,and the scenery...absolutely magical.Then theres Kelly,at first I thought,well she will settle down and we can return to crazy Ramona,the good crazy,but did you notice how quite Ramona and Alex were during the dinner scene?The editing for this show was perfect,right at the time Sonja alerts the others that something serious was happening,I as a viewer thought the same thing.My God!,this woman is beyond,bi-polar,perhaps she takes medication and didn,t bring it with her,which maybe why she got progressivly worse.Maybe thats why the producers added Jill,so she could bring her pills....I don,t know,but Wow! ...And Yes,Sonja is a good addition.

[lafou]

How much longer are we going to watch Kelly go off the rails? I think most workplaces would have called security by now. Bethany is pregnant and grieving...give her a break!
Sonja is really a class act, esp. the way she is showing compassion for Kelly.

[Zoey]

I have to say I'm new to watching reality TV and it is my guilty pleasure to enjoy the housewives. I only watch NY and NJ. Last season NY was great but this season, whether they write this stuff or not, it's awful. Too much bickering and fighting. After this episode, I think Kelly should be off the show. She's either on drugs or has a mood disorder or both and that is not the reality I need to see. It was frustrating trying to make sense of the whole dinner scene and it is not my idea of a guilty pleasure to watch someone have a nervous breakdown. That's serious business. While I don't care for Kelly, I think she has serious emotional issues, a la maybe borderline personality disorder or bipolar and that she talks and acts and reasons like someone with the emotional mentality of a 14 year old. It's not funny, amusing or interesting to watch. Bravo TV you need to get your head out of your fanny and stop the insanity.

[Cherry]

Kelly is indeed in la-la land, and in her recent interview, which is online to watch, openly lied. Yes, something is wrong with her. She is a big baby who can't deal with real situations.
Jill is so full of herself she can't see beyond anything but her own opinion. Get a real life.
Sonja--a bit dramatic but a real person who sizes people up right away.
LuAnn is in divorceland and should not be judging others.
Bethenny is a tell it like it is doll and should be congratulated for getting through her pregnancy OK given all the stressers she's been put through in this episode.
Ramona-another real person. So she sticks her foot in her mouth--she's not phony. And lots of people like Pino Grigio.
I think the show could do without Kelly.

[Urallkunts]

What a bunch of kunts.

[lisa-c]

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!yes we all turn on the same show Bethany!!!Kelly needs a couple of weeks maybe months in bellevue hosp physic ward!!!now i wonder why ex-boy toy walk to the police precinct-he may be a victim...Big ? has anyone noticed the look on her girl's faces, or the way the act. why did her daughter decide not to speak and write things on a note pad, while Kelly try to learn to make pancakes from her daughter. If i were their DAD i would remove these girls in a heartbeat until Poor Kelly gets big time help. clearly she has some passed bottled up serious stuff going on. I'm think child trauma-maybe that's why she married a man old enough to be her great-grandpa. or she thinks she's on a pony ride in Disneyland. I don't know but Sonja will be a great replacement for Kelly..Please bravo send her for psycho help. and Mr. Bensimon put the camera down a minute an rescue sea & teddy from the big broad shoulder shark!! before she tears their life apart..

[Glory]

Kelly tries to "script" herself in the show and it backfires on her every time. I'm not so sure she is actually crazy, well maybe a little, but tries to come up with scenerios that she thinks will make her look good and they just make her look crazy or dumb. I guess she'll be back but I think this is going to get old fast.
She really is not very pretty but kind of course and horsey looking and for being in "fashion" she has really bad taste in clothes.
I know a lot of photographers and no one has ever heard of her world famous ex-husband. He must have been rich because I can't see what she does to afford her lifestyle maybe that's why she needs to be on the show.

If Bethany makes up with that mean girl Jill I think she may be as crazy as Kelly. It is really obvious that the only reason Jill wants to make up is that Bethany has her own show. Jill's true colors really come out on TV, fake tears and all. The camera doesn't lie.

Louanne is just fake and boring.

Alex, Ramona and Sonja are the only ones worth keeping. Drop the others and find some new interesting housewives.