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'Real Housewives of New Jersey': N.J.'s next top model?

May 18, 2010 | 10:35 am

Danielle_staub  OK. OK. I can see why Bethenny Frankel is getting her own spin-off show. She’s caused quite a stir over on “The Real Housewives of New York City” with that whole Jill feud.  And she’s got all those books and stuff. But if I may offer my suggestion for the next “Housewives” spin-off, my endorsement would go to 3-year-old Milania. Between her snack rampage a couple of weeks ago and her tornado-like terror in the store this week, I found myself thoroughly entertained with Teresa’s daughter. Just a suggestion, Bravo.

Until then, we can be satisfied with her elder New Jersey counterparts. 

In Monday’s episode, Danielle’s sanity is again called into question. Let’s be honest, at this point, it’s the kind of question that no longer needs to be answered. 

After Danielle found a bouquet of flowers for her daughter Christine from Jacqueline — a congratulatory offering for Christine’s recent foray into modeling — Danielle went off the deep end, naturally. Loved how she, at first, thought the flowers were for her. Delusional much? When it finally hit her that they were for Christine, she sought the advice of her therapist, er, 11-year-old daughter, Jillian, as to what she should do: “Should I call Jacqueline?” She called. No answer. “Do you think she’s busy with the baby, or do you think she just doesn’t want to pick up?” Jillian’s response: “She’s a normal person; people are busy.” Poor kid. She tried. But it wasn’t enough to keep Danielle’s mind from spinning. So what did Danielle do? She called Jacqueline again. Jacqueline, again, didn’t answer. Danielle took the opportunity to leave another lovely message, this time some diatribe about Jacqueline being her own woman. Can someone get this woman a glass of Pinot Grigio? If it can soothe Ramona, it can surely work on Danielle, right?

Oh, but the delusion would only intensify. 

When it came time to gear up for New York Fashion Week, Danielle got all Tyra Banks, trying to coach her daughter through the catwalk process. “Christine doesn’t realize how important it is that she’s with IMG … but she will.” Was that a threat? A promise? It was so Caroline of her. But Danielle was, after all, a model (snooze!) so she knew the pressures of the industry. Riiiight. When it finally came time for Christine to strut down the platform, Danielle summed up how she was feeling: “I might even have thrown up a little bit in my mouth.” Aww, what every daughter wants to hear. While Danielle was doting about how “special” it was, Christine was ready to puke. Literally. The girl got sick. But that’s OK, because Danielle thought, “In all fairness, she did a great job.” 

Other pleasantries:

-- Jacqueline’s impersonation of Danielle over coffee with Caroline. It wasn’t exactly a good one, but I liked that she tried.  

- -During Gia’s extravagant shopping spree, Teresa suggested her young'un go to work if she wanted to continue getting everything she wanted. Gia’s response: “No, I’m too pretty.” It caused me to chuckle when I first heard it. Now it just makes me sad.

-- When Dina was meeting with Zen Jen — that in itself was funny — we got a lesson as to why having a horrible childhood was no excuse for being evil. Why? “Oprah was abused” and you don’t see her acting like crazy Danielle. But wouldn’t it be amazing if Oprah did act like that?

-- Thank you, Bravo, for including footage of Danielle’s dog dragging its butt across the carpet. It was a very crucial scene to keep the story moving. 

-- Yvonne Villarreal 

ShowTrackers, what did you think of the episode? Am I the only one who would rather see more Milania than Danielle? 


Complete coverage of "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" on ShowTracker

Photo: Danielle Staub. Credit: Bravo