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'Real Housewives of New Jersey': Danielle does a drive-by

May 4, 2010 |  9:38 am

Teresa_guidice It finally happened. The gals of New Jersey are back. And judging from the season preview, they're making the drama over on the other "Housewives" editions look like child's play.

Things are a little different from where we left off. Jacqueline has given birth to a baby boy; the new addition to the family has brought she and Caroline closer, apparently. Teresa has a baby on board. And Caroline's husband has lost a ton of weight after experiencing a health scare. 

But as we saw in the season premiere, some things never change. 

Dina still has an affinity for odd-looking cats. A little confused by why that scene of Dina reading a magazine and blowing out candles in her home was necessary. I know I said I was getting bored with the drama over on "The Real Housewives of New York City," but watching people read is not the solution, Bravo.

Outcast Danielle is still hung up on entering the inner circle. And she's quoting the Bible to prove it? "God can't help you unless you ask," she teaches us. Not exactly sure what verse that is, but in Thursday's episode, Danielle, a "devout Catholic," seeks the advice of a priest. Why? She wants him to teach her how to pray for them. Oy. 

But all that prayer won't work. Jacqueline's husband, Chris, tells his wife that he doesn't want her hanging around Danielle anymore. And when it comes time to throw an event for local law enforcement, Caroline not-so-accidentally fails to invite Danielle ... which Danielle discovers from her pedicurist? Peeved by the slight omission, Danielle gets in her car -- kids in tow -- and decides to drive by the event. Not because she cares, of course. Cause as she repeatedly tried to convince herself, she could care less. She was "just curious." Right. It was a sad relief that it took her kids to keep her from going through with it. Though, I must admit, it would have made for a hilariously awkward scene that I would have thoroughly enjoyed.

But the majority of the episode belonged to Teresa and her spunky little daughters. If you didn't catch the episode, here's a sampling:

--It only makes sense that the author of an upcoming cookbook would get some camera time with food. Teresa and her family are shown in her garage (?) making tomato sauce. And viewers learn that tomatoes aren't the only requirement to ensure a successful sauce. When a friend comes in to help, she's screened to ensure she meets the tomato sauce-making standards. Clean hands? Psh. Teresa asks the million-dollar question: "Do you have that time of the month?" Apparently "old school Italians believe that if it's time of the month, you're not allowed to make red sauce because you can spoil the tomatoes." Can someone phone Giada de Laurentiis, please?

--When Teresa was getting her kids ready for their first day of school, it seemed we finally have an answer to the age-old question: Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? It was probably her youngest daughter. Did you see all those snacks she was packing into her lunch bag? It was like she was Noah and she had to save every species of snack in her arc, er, bag. Too adorable. When Teresa asked if she had just got one, she meekly replied "yes."

--And then there was Teresa's gem of a quote: "[Danielle's] hole must be as big as ... not the Lincoln Tunnel, not the Holland Tunnel ... what's the longest tunnel?"

So, Show Trackers, what did you think of the season premiere? Anticipating the rest of the season from what you saw in the previews? Do you think Jacqueline should have to cut ties with Danielle? Will Danielle versus everyone else become the new Bethenny and Jill feud? 

-- Yvonne Villarreal

Photo. Teresa Guidice. Credit: Bravo


Television review: 'The Real Housewives of New Jersey'

Complete coverage of 'The Real Housewives of New York City' on Show Tracker

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