'Gossip Girl' season finale: OMG WTH UGH

Those acronyms and others flooded my BlackBerry and Twitter feed the moment last night's "Gossip Girl" season finale came to an end. I couldn't help but echo the sentiments of so many viewers out there because, really, "Gossip Girl," WTH? I was overwhelmed to the point of speechlessness by the smorgasbord of storylines. My OMGs weren't uttered out of shock and awe but rather out of incredulousness that it had come to this point of excess.

I know we ask for drama, but did they have to throw in every play in the book? So much was crammed within that hour that I began to wonder exactly how many seasons this finale was supposed to cover. Where was the intrigue, the mystery, the restraint? "Gossip Girl" gave it up as easily as a sad, lonely virgin with raccoon eyes.

The episode started fairly well. Blair pretended she had no intention of meeting Chuck on top of the Empire State Building, though we knew that deep down not even a hokey, overused plotline could keep those two apart. Serena and Dan rekindled their awkward attraction and, despite their insistence that "nothing happened," they slipped straight into damage-control mode once Jenny blasted their business on Gossip Girl. Despite its incestuous undertones, I actually was willing to cosign on that love affair only because Serena was likable when she was with Dan. She was struggling for redemption and purpose back then, not serving as pouty filler with a really cute (though occasionally slutty) wardrobe. I'll take Serena battling her inner demons over Serena dealing with whiny daddy issues any day!

My interest piqued when Georgina Sparks arrived. She'd always been a reliable source for scandal, and I was dying to know why she returned to Manhattan looking like a Real Housewife of New Jersey. However, I'd say her entrance was a little premature. Her pregnancy reveal, which truly could have been the big OMG moment of the episode, would have had greater impact if she hadn't spent the previous 20 minutes lurking in hospital corners and groveling at Chuck's feet.

Then there was Jenny. The good-girl-gone-bad direction was a fun idea until she went sour. After betraying her own family, running away from home and willingly sleeping with the guy who had once tried to molest her on a rooftop, Jenny deserved Blair's scathing remarks as well as her banishment to suburbia. Hurricane J needed to be stopped before she lost every redeemable quality about her. Because then, not even a sassy gay stepbrother could help her win back fans. I hope her time in Hudson renews her sense of self; it'll be hard to bounce back after a year like that, but underneath that eyeshadow is a butterfly waiting to emerge from her cocoon.

Speaking of cocoon, the one bright spot in the episode was the birth of Dorota's baby girl, Anna. I have no idea how she'll balance motherhood and attend to Blair, but I'm looking forward to finding out. As long as that baby isn't throwing back cocktails and plotting sweet revenge on stuffed animals by the end of next season, Dorota's little family should be just fine.

I can't say the same for Chuck. After his grand Empire State Building plan went awry, he proceeded to descend past the point of no return. I threw my hands up the moment Jenny leaned in for the kiss because, as much as I love Chuck and Blair, there are only so many deceptions one can get away with before a relationship is downright vile and unhealthy. An epic love story like theirs should transcend all obstacles and circumstance, but it doesn't quite work when one person is so unbelievably and unforgivably flawed.

For the last two seasons, Blair would inevitably follow the same patterns -- wallow in heartbreak after Chuck disappoints her, take valid steps to move on and then throw it all out the window when he makes a grand gesture -- and it's become staid. I want Chuck and Blair to find happiness like everyone else, but a gigantic Harry Winston diamond ring isn't going to patch up the fact that they've dug themselves into a rut. The appeal of the push-pull dynamic of their relationship is starting to wane, so if anything is to come out of the ridiculous idea of Chuck getting shot, it should be a story that rejuvenates both -- and not just throws them back into their old habits.

If I were to flip through the Season Finale Handbook, last night's episode would have taken me cover to cover. In that hour, we witnessed a past love rekindled, the birth of a child, a virginity lost, a breakup, an attempted proposal, an exile, a surprise pregnancy and a main character robbed and shot (did I miss anything?). I don't know whether to interpret such exorbitance as a sign of desperation on the show's part or a sign of genius. The fact that it's evoked this kind of reaction makes me lean toward the latter, but it's going to take a stellar Season 4 for me to feel fully convinced that it's not the former.

Whew, what a season! Happy summer, readers! Don't forget to share your thoughts in the comments because I'm sure you have a lot to say about that doozy of an episode.

xoxo

--Enid Portuguez

Photo: We wish a bouquet of peonies could make us feel better too, Blair. Credit: Giovanni Rufino / The CW

Comments

[J.B.]

I was hugely dissapointed and am considering breaking up with Gossip Girl. The only redeeming feature was that Dan and Nate rekindled their bromance with apologies at the end. That has been the most enjoyable part of this season - their friendship.

Chuck and Jenny? Gross and disturbing.

Dan and Serena? So tired and boring.

If Georgina actually has Dan's baby I will not watch the show again.

The character of Serena is becoming so horrible. The show began with this idea that Serna was returning to be a better person and change and grow, instead she has become this whiney tartlett without ambition or a job.

[m smith]

GG Writers: You have ruined Chuck and Blair past the point of no return. I literally hated EVERYTHING about this finale. Not one single character did a redeemable thing. Writers, you spent WAY too much time on the "WTF" moments - you had to actually scrape the barrell? Jenny and Chuck, seriously?! That was a deal breaker for me - C & B will never be the same again. This was supposed to be epic, NOT tragic. I don't think I'll be tuning in for Season 4, and I consider myself "obsessed" with GG. You don't know what you've done to your fans.
I hope you are reading the comments about how EVERYONE now hates you:

Here's the finale follow-up interview with Stephanie Savage about next season: http://ausiellofiles.ew.com/2010/05/17/gossip-girl-season-finale-spoilers/

[ella]

I was also in the OMG and WTH mode last night. I was so surprised with so many of the things that happen last night it was too much for 1 hour. I am a HUGE Chuck Bass fan and my worry is who is going to go to his rescue? Blair and Serena are off to Paris. Nate is enjoying Chuck's little black book of girls. Jenny is gone (thank god can't wait to see what Blair is going to say when she comes back) Dan is dealing with the idea of posssibly being a father. It was the most OMG season finale

[Karl]

You missed the Sex & the City-like trip to Paris!

[Frederick]

I loved season one and two, but after this season it's becoming quite difficult to watch sometimes. Best thing that can happen beginning season 4 is Jenny steps off the train in Hudson to the tune of the latest hit from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and suddenly gets hit by a bus. Whoops no more little J. Serena then does something or someone in Paris and gets thrown in jail for like 8 episodes and comes out a completely different character, cause right now she's annoying to watch. The Georgina re- introduction with Dan's possible baby is HUGE! Just as long as it doesn't resolve itself in 2 episodes and she's off the show again. "Mercy" got cancelled let's keep her around. Chuck Bass is a great character, but I don't what you do with him from here. He's a playboy that is running an empire, driving Bugatti's and sleeping with any model ( over 18) he wants. Not deflowering Jenny and getting shot by himself in some alley in BFE.
Oh and my final gripe, "Gossip Girl" is a blogger / redistribution of texts and photos and juicy gossip, not some soap box narrator who tries to give us the scoop before each commercial break.

[Molly W]

This is the most depressing episode of Gossip Girl I've ever seen. While I used to like Jenny, she has spiraled out of control.

Jenny and Chuck...so gross.

Georgina's having Dan's baby?! WTH?!

Serena and Dan? BORING.

Chuck gets shot????!!!! WTH X10000

[gossip girl 4]

This show is really good if you like shows like the OC and other that are on now of days. Show I like the show gossip girl. It is really good show that touches upon a older crowned of kids from a Manhattan private school. I think it’s a really good show and the first season was good and the second season.

[Nata]

Chuck and Blair are the only reason that this show is even worth watching. If they're not together, I'm not going to watch.

[GG]

The storyline with Jenny and Chuck was disturbing on so many levels. Don't they have statutory rape laws on the Upper Eastside? I think Jenny is only 16 and that's not legal where I live.

[kieraaa]

UGHH!
i agree, im thinking of dumping this show & not feel bad about it,
like come on, CHUCK & JENNY?!
that is the most vilest thing i think i ever seen since the first episode.
is she dumb or what?
ugh, i was soo for chuck and Blair but like really how many problems are they going to make them go through before they live happy ever after. & chuck better not die or i would most defiantly be through.
GEORGINA is a mess, like always. nothing has changed with her. if she has dan's baby that would most def be one heck of a ugly babby, but it would make the show more unnecessarily stupid.
THANK GOD, i was so sick of the whole Serena looking for long lost daddy thing, i cant wait to see what ole Humphrey is going to get himself into now,
i think i might have to check out how the first episode of season four is before i do anything drastic, but if it sucks as bad as this finale, that's one less viewer they have to worry about pleasing..