‘Desperate Housewives’: Tick, tick ... boom
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So, I guess this is goodbye?
I wrestled with how to say this exactly. How to make the words leave my lips or at least pull them together mentally and get my fingers to type. I haven’t been shy in saying I’ve felt this season of “Desperate Housewives” has been beyond lackluster. The mystery, Katherine, that plane crash -- gosh, make it stop. Never have I been so happy, so ecstatic, to see a show end for the season. It was about time Marc Cherry & Co. put this little season out of its misery.
As I’ve said before, with any good -- or ghastly -- mystery, at some point it has to come to an end, and that time is now. Over the last six seasons, watching the whodunit unravel its ugly truths, has been an intense ride of highs and lows, although this season has had way too many lows. But, enough about that. I could go on about the pitfalls of the season, but let’s focus on how it all ended.
The last few episodes did turn up the dial on my interest, so I had begun to think my patience had finally been rewarded after putting up with so much – I’m sorry, I’m still really bitter that Karl died and not Orson.
Reader Jason agreed with me. He wrote: “[T]o date I have been disappointed with this season. However I have enjoyed the last few episodes (particularly the one focusing on Eddie). The sneak peak for next week indicated someone was going to die ... I hope it is actually a character of significance, as I’m tired of only the boring and uninteresting characters getting killed off (Carl [sic] was the biggest “surprise” to date - if you want to call it that). Maybe it’s Tom’s time to go ... or Parker Scavo ...... Andrew Van de Kamp??”
Well, the episode didn’t turn out to be as predictable as I thought, and, thankfully, it was more satisfying than I had imagined it would be.
The Fairview Strangler uses his hands for good
Our favorite killer actually turned out to be a sweet li’l strangler after all. I’ve said before how I never had Eddie pegged as a crazy killer, which made his storyline the best of the entire season, despite its initial clumsiness. It was only appropriate that it took Lynette to discover his secret as she was really the only woman who didn’t turn her back on the poor kid. I hated that he would be the link between Lynette and the latest addition to the Scavo brood. I mean she lost the other one after the trauma of that ridiculous Christmas plane crash (just absurd, sorry, there goes that bitterness). We all knew Eddie would never kill her, and he actually got it together enough to help save the baby during a very difficult home birth – which, of course, was Eddie’s fault to begin with. Kudos to Lynette for pulling the mom card and getting him to turn himself in, with her help, of course.
Sam takes the cake
The ongoing drama with Sam was a storyline that had my attention from the very beginning, and as with any good story, I wished I could jump through the television and smack Bree and give her some much-needed swagger.
I was so frustrated with the hold this arrogant little son of a gun had on Bree. Once he had threatened to turn in Andrew and Bree for the car accident that killed Carlos’ mother back in Season 1, I was thoroughly prepared to see Sam offed. With him attempting some old-fashioned blackmail, I just knew Bree would concoct a finely crafted plan.
But alas, she didn’t! I screamed when she signed on the dotted line.
Still, they began to set up next season with Orson confronting her about the double standard she applied to Andrew’s hit-and-run versus his by not turning him in. So what! Orson, honey, that’s her son. You’re the husband, and you have a lot of skeletons dancing around in your closet. Sayonara – and I would have helped you pack. I realize she loved the man and all, but come on, I’m more curious to see how her confession to Gabby will play out. (I can’t imagine she’ll be that broken up, lest she forgets why Mama Solis was hanging out in the street to begin with.)
Susan and Mike really are broke
I wish I could say I had interest in Susan and Mike’s, well mostly the latter’s, money problems. I’m confused. When did it get so bad that they had to move, and am I the only one who actually thought the threat of moving off the lane was just that? Plus, what happened to the funds from Susan’s days of being a strip-club owner? Gosh that story line lost me so long ago. My brain didn’t really hurt until I saw the setup of who would be buying the house: Paul Young. Really? I mean, really? Look, I’m trying to get excited about his return, but he just isn’t that interesting anymore. Four seasons ago, I would have been game, but now? Maybe if Felicia Tilman comes back you’ll have my interest, Cherry & Co.
And then there was a boom
I bet Patrick wished he’d never demanded Angie construct a bomb. Those loggers or whoever in Oregon never got a taste of “green” punishment. Bummer, I really thought Cherry & Co. would go there and take the viewers to Oregon and have some semi-exciting showdown. On second thought, that’s just as ridiculous as the Bolen saga. Good thing Angie outsmarted Patrick. Now, why didn’t he think she’d do something like that – isn’t he an eco-terrorist mastermind? No Bolen ended up harmed in the making of this season, which within itself was a small miracle that, in the end -- dare I say it -- I liked. Minus them shipping Danny off to New York.
You are NOT the parents!
I guess things are going to take the “Maury” route next season. We were introduced to another plot line for the seventh season that’s sure to be a game changer. An old, dying nurse at Fairview Memorial had a secret to confess before she died: There was a baby switch on her watch. The horror! Though there were no clues to tease us with, I immediately began obsessing. Given the fact she was an older gal, maybe it’s one of our wives with older kids. This rules out Gabby. Though if it’s one of our younger kids, it’s of course little MJ or Penny or the other Scavo boy who’s not a twin. I’d hate for it to be Andrew who was switched with Sam. Nope, that doesn’t work given that Sam was supposedly before Bree. Who could it be?
-- Gerrick D. Kennedy
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