'Dancing With the Stars' results: Shake it off
Alert: The “Dancing With the Stars” jiggly quotient has gone down precipitously. First, top-heavy actress and model Pamela Anderson exited the ballroom competition. And now this week, it was comedian and all-around joy Niecy Nash's turn to go. And I’ll miss the “Clean House” host. She had great spirit and loved who she was. Plus, she and her partner, Louis Van Amstel, got along together about as well as a cheeseburger and curly fries. Well, at least now she can have her days back, and won’t have to withhold on the snacks anymore.
And while I knew that Niecy had fewer judges’ points than fellow bottom-two dweller Chad Ochocinco going into this week’s elimination, I had kind of hoped that Niecy’s troops would rally in full force and allow her to stay another week; I loved her spirit and the way that she attacked everything like it was a big, fat, juicy steak. Like Kenny Mayne so memorably said during his entertaining “DanceCenter” segment, this competition should have gone to the one who was the most hungry. And who was more hungry in this season than Niecy?
Alas, it was a bittersweet ending to the eighth week of the competition that left Nicole and Derek, Evan and Anna, Erin and Maks, and Chad and Cheryl on their way to the semifinals.
This week’s results hour showed the encore performance of Nicole and Derek's 1960s paso doble, which remained impressive its second time around. And it played host to the first-ever College Dance Championship, which pitted UC San Diego’s Tritons against the Purdue Boilermakers, introduced the lay viewer to formation team dancing and turned the Rectagon set into some sort of raucous coed pep rally. And while the judges’ scores between the two teams were pretty close, I thought UC San Diego had the competition in the bag; they seemed more in sync and their formations were a lot more interesting. I know the Purdue students said their school was laid back, but the Boilermakers’ mambo was a bit slow and soporific. The judges gave UC San Diego a 24, and Purdue got a 22 (hey, that rhymed!), though the voters also get to weigh in on who makes it to the next round.
The venerable Gipsy Kings performed two numbers. The first was a Spanish version of “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” (“Hay un amigo in me”) that’ll appear in the upcoming “Toy Story 3.” It was accompanied by a paso doble danced cape-ably by our pros Kym and Dmitry and Cheryl and Tony (who also choreographed), swathed in Buzz Lightyear’s purple and green. Then the Kings returned later in the program to sing their hit “Bomboleo” with an accompanying dance by some other very limber and death-defying pros.
And how could I forget the perennially amusing “DanceCenter” with Kenny Mayne, Jerry Rice and Len Goodman? Every season this segment tickles me to bits, and this one was no exception. Loved that Jerry nonsensically donned a blond Sally Struthers wig, took every chance he could to show off his major Super Bowl ring bling (Jerry Rice: three. Ochocinco: zero) and topped off just about every comment with a breathy “That’s hot.”
High points: Kenny revealing Niecy’s nickname to be “Dinnertime” and her secret job as the president and chief executive of myjigglyparts.com. The slow-mo replay of Louis uncharacteristically performing a rock star gesture to Niecy’s jigglies. A marketing suggestion to call Chad’s lip balm line “Chad-stick.” Nicole’s stats (“Age: Prime. Height: Just Right. Strengths: Everything”). Kenny pointing out Derek’s long history of dancing with beautiful girls (i.e., Shannon Elizabeth, Joanna Krupa, Mark Ballas – “look at that hip action!”). Noting that Evan “Blades of Glory” Lysacek’s lustrous locks (“black as a raven’s wing,” marveled Len, in a candy-cane tie) could take their place alongside Justin Bieber and the Lego man as one of the most iconic haircuts of the century. And also how the golden boy, a.k.a. Mr. Excitement, and his monotone ramblings can lull even the most sparkly of hosts to sleep. And finally, how Erin and Maks’ bickering made them sound like kids’ “sugar high mixed with not getting to go on the pony ride.” To which, of course, Jerry Rice hilariously added, “That’s hot.” Ha!
What did you think of this results hour? Did the right person go home? Do you enjoy these “DanceCenter” segments as much as I do? How excited are you that we’ve reached the semifinals? Do you think Nicole and Derek's paso is the best routine of all 10 seasons? Finally, did anyone else catch the man sitting behind Tom and next to the judges’ table with the full-on 1990s era Billy Ray Cyrus mullet? That's hot!
Photos: Adam Larkey / ABC