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‘Dancing With the Stars’ results: Ocho and out

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Could it be that just 15 days earlier, head judge Len Goodman had designated May 3, 2010, as the day Cincinnati Bengal Chad Ochocinco became a “DWTS” contender?

Because as it turned out May 18, 2010, marked the day that the numeric NFL player became the 100th contestant to be eliminated from the ballroom competition. Fifteen days. Ochocinco. 100th contestant. 15 + 85 = 100. Coincidence? No doubt. But still pretty neat.

And like that numeric synergy, the deep-sixing of Ochocinco (and his partner Cheryl Burke) ended up nice and neat and just as it should be: It was clear that Chad’s dance scores and skills didn’t quite match up with his fellow semifinalists, and so it was right that the football star was shown the door. Although it was sad to see him go, he left the ballroom just as he had entered it, with his infectious smile and a hundred yards’ worth of good grace. Though watching that recap package made me thankful that the C+C dance factory had toned down that raging showmance toward the end; even in retrospect it all seemed a bit too much.

Although he might not have had the skills to keep him up to par with the rest of his remaining stars, Chad had charisma that stretched on for days, which only helped to make the show entertaining. And for that, he will be missed. Though lucky for us, he won’t be gone forever -- “I’ll be here as a professional next year,” he joked good-naturedly.

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It was a silly, sweet, fitting end to a smorgasbord of a results show.

Len announced the encore dance performance was Evan and Anna’s “full-bore, all-guns-blazing,” vampire-hot paso doble, which upon second viewing may take its place as one of my favorite dances on the show ever.

The “incomparable” Sarah McLachlan performed a lovely medley of hit “Angel’ paired up with her latest single, “Loving You Is Easy.” Too bad this jam-packed hour forced the Lilith Fair founder to combine the two songs rather singing them separately. I loved Sarah and how she didn’t need any sort of accouterments or costumes to mask that lovely voice. And I loved seeing real-life marrieds Jonathan Roberts and Anna Trebunskaya float through the air to “Angel” out on the dance floor; he was like Prince Eric to her Ariel. Later, fellow pros Kym Johnson, Lacey Schwimmer, Dmitry Chaplin and Damian Whitewood arrived to accompany Sarah’s second number, which, sadly, was cut a bit too short for my taste.

Macy’s Design a Dance brought back Season 6’s Melissa Rycroft and Season 4’s Joey Fatone as they performed a tango set to KISS’ “Rock and Roll All Nite.” They also wore a costume design by a very serious and stoic contest winner, who apparently could not bear to crack a smile on camera. Thought Melissa came off better in the pair that Joey, who gamely endured the Paul Stanley (or was it Gene Simmons?) starry-eye makeup and performed the KISS tongue wag at the end. Maybe next time the design-a-dance can return to the star-pro couples?

The college dance championship continued, and it was announced that Purdue earned more votes than UC San Diego and ended up in the finals, despite getting lower scores than the Tritons last week (never underestimate the voting power of the Boilermakers). This week, Rutgers faced off against Utah Valley University for a spot in the finals. Though it wasn’t really a contest: the Utah Valley Wolverines dominated tonight’s competition. Poor Rutgers had its formation team for only a month, and proved to be no match for the ballroom dance majors from Utah. The Utah Valley team was like the Vocal Adrenaline to everyone else’s New Directions – all flash and precision and miles and miles above the other team, even earning a standing ovation from the non-student sections of the “DWTS” crowd. The Wolverines earned a near-perfect 29, which totally dominated Rutgers’ 21. Looks like it’ll be Purdue versus Utah Valley in the finals.

Miley Cyrus did her best Adam Lambert impression while performing her new single, “Can’t Be Tamed.” And as if to hammer the point of the song home, the singer literally performed the song while breaking out of a cage. Although it looked like that feather shoulder piece seemed to weigh on the young singer while she was waiting backstage, Miley rocked the costume and the thigh-high boots with a fairly convincing amount of aplomb. (Her flyaway hair, however, did not fare quite as well.) I can see how Miley wants to update her image and Glambert it out, but seeing this spectacle makes me miss that girl in flannel who sang “The Climb.” “Billy Ray, you’re little girl’s grown up,” Tom declared.

Though I did enjoy taking a glimpse into the remaining pros’ personal journeys. We found out that poor Ukranian Maks got beat up and his Roller Blades stolen on his second day in the U.S. Cheryl was so shy growing up that her mother was afraid that she was mute. Seeing Jonathan Roberts sweetly talking about how far his wife and Russian native Anna had come brought tears to my eyes. And loved how Corky Ballas (father of Mark) revealed that Utah native and goofball Derek’s biggest punishment was taking away his hair gel. “We still use that hair gel punishment now,” Tom announced.

Ultimately, however, it was the battle of the bare male chests as Chad (with Cheryl) and Maks (with Erin) duked it out in the bottom two. But alas, Ochocinco’s number was up, leaving us with three very worthy finalists – the golden boy, the ESPN reporter and the pussycat doll.

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What did you think? Did the right person go home this week? Are you psyched for an Erin-Nicole-Evan final?

—Allyssa Lee

Related:

‘Dancing With the Stars’: Four scored

‘Dancing With the Stars’ results: Shake it off

Complete ‘Dancing With the Stars’ coverage on Show Tracker

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