The 'Lost' weekend: John Locke vs. European air travel
How many of you saw the footage of the ash escaping the volcano in Iceland and thought, "Hey, that looks like the Smoke Monster!" I have to admit that I didn't, but humorist Andy Borowitz (who runs the Borowitz Report and one of the funniest Twitter feeds around) did, and that led to this very funny faux news report, which reimagines the eruption as just the latest in a series of publicity stunts designed to hype the end of the show. To wit:
"Bracing themselves for the public uproar over a special-effects spectacle gone awry, ABC officials today attempted to explain how the producers' desire for a fitting ending to the increasingly convoluted series led to an aviation nightmare.
" 'The producers of Lost set off a small explosive charge underneath the Eyjafjallajokull glacier in Iceland, hoping to create a cloud of black smoke,' said ABC spokesperson Carol Foyler. 'That was pretty much the only way they could think of to end the series.'
"After the gigantic cloud of volcanic ash threatened aircraft for miles around, 'it was clear that this time they went a little too far,' she said."
Not to be outdone, Crit Obara tossed off this image of the Smoke Monster wreaking havoc on European air travel to include with his link to Borowitz's article.
But that wasn't the only "Lost"-related funny of the week.
My favorite this week was this cartoon that thinks about what might have happened had Ben just come clean with Jack way back in Season 1 of the show, rather than carrying on the elaborate ruse about the Others being hillbillies with a penchant for violence. It's a very funny piece of art with some terrific dialogue, and I thank Ali Arikan for sending it along via his Twitter feed.
OK, enough laughs. Are you ready to be sad? Just a little? Then realize that by the time I write this column and post it next week, "Lost" will have wrapped and had its wrap party (as @tvmadman points out). Need confirmation? Check out what Damon Lindelof himself said. As sad as we must be to see the show go, it's even harder to imagine what Lindelof and Carlton Cuse and everybody else who works on the show must be feeling. They'll all find new work, and some of them already have. But an experience like "Lost" comes along very rarely. Must be a special feeling but also one with a lot of sadness.
Oh fine. You want more laughs? Here's a parody of the song "On Broadway" called "Flash Sideways" from some guy named Ryan, sent along by colleague Maria Elena Fernandez. If you're looking for something fun to do at your "Lost" finale party, you could do worse than printing out the lyrics and singing along. I mean, this is just great:
"They say that Jughead made them all
This time Flight 815 stays up in the air
And Sawyer’s next to Hugo’s seat
And Kate’s still running down the street
And Jacob hasn’t shown up anywhere."
And if that's not enough for your party, well, you could always read everyone's Tarot or something, using this deck of "Lost"-centric Tarot cards designed by Flickr user Gravitybomb. I'm not entirely sure how you would use these to do a reading. (I guess you could just tell someone they were just like Boone or whichever card you happened to flip over at the time.) At the same time, the visual design is really cool, and I love the card known as "The Enigma." So maybe these aren't entirely practical, but they certainly look awesome.
And that's it for the weekend. Join us again on Tuesday as we enter the final hours of this season with an hour that promises to be, if nothing else, Wonkatastic.
--Todd VanDerWerff (follow me on Twitter at @tvoti)
Photo: Sawyer (Josh Holloway) and Kate (Evangeline Lilly) stand around waiting for something to happen. Just like the parody lyrics said! Credit: ABC