‘Real Housewives of New York City’: The message

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Is it Monday yet? I feel like I need a dose of the ladies over on “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” to keep me awake after this snoozer of an episode. Heck, I was even considering flipping my coffee table during that whole awkward, anti-climatic “message” scene.

Like, seriously? Where did the show I once loved go? It’s lost … along with Kelly’s pants, which go missing once again in this episode. How long before it’s time to send out a search and rescue crew? I feel like if we don’t act soon, those pants don’t have a chance of making a safe return.

On to the drama … that isn’t really drama anymore, it’s just blah.

Thursday’s episode began with Bethenny’s discovery that news of her pregnancy had been leaked on a blog. She’s confused by how it could have possibly been leaked since she’s only told a few people. And that’s all it takes. She breaks the news to Jason, who is visibly miffed … for about a minute. I don’t know. Something about the whole scene was weird. They recovered from their apparent outrage over the situation way too quickly. And did anyone find it odd that Bethenny told Jason she would be confirming the news rather than reaching a joint decision on how to handle the situation? Who am I kidding? I’m too bored to care.

Meanwhile, LuAnn continues planning whatever event she’s been planning. Something about cocktails and couture. Newbie housewife Sonja is offering her lavish home as the venue for the event. And to continue the theme of dog feces this season, viewers are exposed to Sonja’s poop-infested garden? And once again, LuAnn feels the need to show off her language dexterity after she steps in a log of excrement. What’s French for “this is getting ridiculous?” The only pleasure I got from this scene came when Jill called to gossip about Bethenny and the pregnancy rumors. It offered many lovely nuggets: 1) The loud banter between LuAnn and Sonja overpowered Jill’s voice, not something she’s used to; 2) We learned that Bethenny has blocked LuAnn from reading her tweets. Hil-arious. 3) Does Jill have a Google alert on Bethenny? Uh, creepy. 4) We’re again exposed to Jill’s snarky ways. The look on her face when LuAnn said she sent her an Evite was priceless: “It’s not really a fancy Evite, but OK. Alright. Whatever.”

And as the episode was drawing near its end, the hype built up over this “message” Alex was going to give to Jill on behalf of Bethenny. The message: Bethenny wants nothing more to do with Jill. See how easy that was? Eight words. Effortless. But it took Alex, what, an eternity? For that? It was awkward. It was pointless. It was childish. And why didn’t she pull Jill aside? That was very classless, and I didn’t even need to read LuAnn’s book to come to that conclusion.

Other notable moments:

--Sonja is contemplating liposuction for her “pooch” area and takes Ramona with her to the consultation. Ramona, in turn, offers me a moment of laughter with all those questions she asked the doctor. Did you see the look on his face? She gave him a brow lift without the surgery.

--And, uh, what was with Sonja’s psychic?

--If you weren’t paying attention to Alex’s inability to deliver a message properly, it was probably because you were wondering where Kelly’s pants were. Did she seriously show up to that event in itty-bitty red shorts? Of course.

--Oh, and we were introduced to newbie to the scene, Jennifer Gilbert. But if you blinked, you missed it.

So Show Trackers, what did you think of the episode? Getting bored with this Bethenny-Jill feud? Will you be watching “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” come Monday night?

-- Yvonne Villarreal