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'House M.D.': Don't forget to demonize two demon eyes

April 20, 2010 |  8:01 am

House-Ep618_Sc18-20_0058 Knights! Witches! Swords! Kings! For a moment, I thought that "House" had been preempted in favor of a Heath Ledger movie. Monday's episode, "Knight Fall," started off looking like a period piece until the king whipped out his iPhone to call for help when one of his jousting knights collapsed.

The patient of the week is William -- er, Sir William -- a man who has spent the last month living as a Renaissance fair knight. He's in love with the queen, who, of course, "belongs" to his best friend, the king. Seriously.

House's team spends most of the episode ruling out various environmental factors. It's not food poisoning (even though the guy has been eating cow eyeballs), it's not lead poisoning (even though he plays with little lead knight figurines) and it's not magic (even though he's got a secret locked room in his house with a bunch of pentagrams and a book called "The Necronomicon").

In the end, it turns out that the king accidentally poisoned William with hemlock (it looks just like wild carrots!) which, when combined with the steroids William was using to boost his jousting performance, nearly killed him. Yes, William was juiced up. With a little hair gel and a spray tan, he'd be Snooki's perfect match.

As usual, House is distracted. He's kicked his Vicodin habit, but his leg is still causing him a lot of pain, and Ibuprofen is not really cutting it anymore. He tries to keep his mind off of it by doing what he does best ... meddling. Wilson is still dating his first wife, Sam, and of course House isn't happy with it. I'm starting to believe that Wilson should just give up on having any kind of social life whatsoever. He's forever doomed to wake up to House shuffling around the kitchen naked.

When Wilson, against his better judgment, asks House to join him and Sam for dinner, House makes a desperate attempt to disrupt the meal by inviting a transvestite prostitute as his date. Sam is unfazed, though -- she and the hooker bond over cupcakes and House is, once again, miserable. To apologize, House cooks dinner for Wilson and Sam, and all goes well until Wilson steps out of the room ... and House calls Sam a word we can't use. Luckily, she returns the sentiment.

Ultimately, House puts (a tiny bit of) faith in Sam by throwing out the extensive file he had Lucas dig up on her, and goes back to popping his Ibuprofen. I'm not sure how long House can resist that familiar prescription bottle when he's this uncomfortable -- and this lonely. I do hope that the show isn't building toward a season finale relapse, but it might be going there.

I'm also sensing the possibility of a future hook-up between Thirteen and Chase. They're both single, they're both absurdly attractive and they seem to be getting thrown together relatively often these days. Chase got his Cameron closure last week, as painful (and pleasurable) as it may have been, and now it's time for him to move on.

Do you have any predictions for what's coming up next for House and the others? What do you think of Sam? Let me know in the comments below!

-- Carina MacKenzie (catch up with me on Twitter @cadlymack)

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Photo: Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard) enjoys dinner with ex-wife Sam (guest star Cynthia Watros). Credit: Fox

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