‘Dancing With the Stars’ results: Eight minus Kate

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Well, it finally happened. After making it through five weeks at or near the bottom of the ballroom dancing scoreboard, mother of eight Kate Gosselin ended up with the lowest combined total of points and was ousted from the “Dancing With the Stars” competition. Things didn’t look so good for the embattled reality TV star from the outset, as Kate and her partner Tony Dovolani were ushered into the Bottom Two almost immediately and spent nearly the whole hour under those damning red lights.

And despite her own entreaties that she hoped to dance another day, the judges and voters apparently thought otherwise, and she was sent tearfully on her way. The swell of emotion even prompted host Tom Bergeron to eschew the recap montage to chat a bit more with the fallen star.

Standing supportively beside Kate was her partner, Saint Tony of Dovolani. And let’s take this moment to recognize his magnanimous work this season, shall we? He should be given a humanitarian Mirrorball trophy for tackling this unenviable situation. The classy way he stood by his partner and said he was proud of her only made him all the more endearing.

Given her dismal scores, it was only a matter of time before Kate was shown the Rectagon door. And I was hoping for it to happen this week as much as anyone. But you know how you wait and wait and wait for something to come, and when it finally does, it leaves you kind of empty inside? Well, that’s kind of how I feel about Kate’s exit. Granted, this woman could barely dance a lick (though had this show, in fact, been called “Strolling With the Stars,” Kate would have no doubt swept the entire competition). But let’s face it: She does make for interesting TV.

As Len and Tom said, Kate was one of Season 10’s most-talked about celebrities. Now answer me truly: Are things going to be a little more boring now that the mother of eight is gone? Where can we direct our energy and vitriol now?

Maybe into this: What in the name of all that is good and perky was Pamela Anderson doing in the Bottom Two again? As Bruno summarily put it: “It’s crazy, and it’s not right.” I am convinced that this “Stacked” actress could be a contender this season once Damian tones down the double entendres and ratchets up the routine difficulty, so this haphazard voting will not stand (Tommy Lee, I’m talking to you). Besides, she promised no more props (aside from her bosom buddies, of course). What more do you want?

But back to the recap. This week’s impending elimination seemed drawn out more than usual Tuesday night, given that Tom and Burke introduced the intermediary “still in jeopardy” slot to Jake Pavelka and Chelsie Hightower and Chad Ochocinco and Cheryl Burke before whittling it down to the Bottom Two.

And aside from the stellar dance performances, the rest of the filler was pretty run of the mill. We had Len’s recap, as usual. But in honor of Movie Night, the head judge assigned Hollywood classifications for each star dancer. Evan and Nicole received top billing as leading actor and actress, Erin, Jake and Pamela lent color as supporting cast, and Niecy, Chad and Kate filled in as extras. There was the run down the leaderboard. Some backstage interviews. A couple more recaps.

Adam Carolla came back for a watered-down version of his Between the Mirrorball segment, set against a fake-brick background that set the producers back 50 cents. Heralded “DWTS” costume designer and man-behind-the-seams Randall Christensen made an always-welcome appearance, gave the stars pointers on how to outfit their pros in the coming week, showed Jake the difference between a sequin and a rhinestone, and discussed the possibilities of making an outfit out of chocolate with Niecy Nash.

The encore dance was Jake and Chelsie’s “Risky Business” cha cha cha. Except maybe the thought of seeing Jake in “tightly whitelies” again got Len in a bunch, because the head judge ended up introducing the ‘Bachelor’ as “Chad” instead.

Grammy winner and all-around-cool cat Maxwell came on stage and crooned his single “Fistful of Tears,” while dancers Tyne Stecklein and Teddy Forance threw themselves into the accompanying dance with abandon. Costa Rican sensation Debi Nova -- who looks like a Latina Fergie, with shades of Leona Lewis thrown in -- came out and sang the decidedly un-Christmassy “Drummer Boy.” Lucky for her, Nova’s American television debut was sweetened by the bare-chested hoof support of ballroom candy Tony Dovolani, Damian Whitewood, Derek Hough and Dmitry Chaplin.

And the Macy’s Stars of Dance performance was a toe-tapping treat: In honor of Movie Night, Marguerite Derricks choreographed a tribute to famous dance sequences from the silver screen, and we got fun little snippets of Fred Astaire, Tony Manero and Austin Powers routines. Added bonus: Debbie Allen came out and reprised her famous Lydia Grant line from “Fame” the TV show (“You want fame? Well fame costs. And right here is where you start paying in sweat”) -- cane and all!

The producers could have turned this entire results hour into a tribute to movie dances, and I would have been pleased as punch. The mod “Austin Powers” shag in particular tickled my fancy, and the dancers coming together like “Fame” at the end was icing on the movie-medley cake. Remember! Remember! Remember!

And now I turn it to you. Did the right person go home? What did you think of the results?

-- Allyssa Lee

Related:

‘Dancing With the Stars’: Lights! Camera! Action!

‘Dancing With the Stars’ Results: Turner loose

Complete ‘Dancing With the Stars’ coverage on Showtracker (bottom) Tony Dovolani and Kate Gosselin. Credit: ABC / Adam Larkey