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'America's Next Top Model': The women weave for New Zealand

April 22, 2010 |  8:19 am
Americas-next-top-model-krista In this episode of “America’s Next Top Model,” the gals get a few lessons on how not to be a drag from drag queens, and things get hairy in the photo shoot.

After Brenda was eliminated last week, I wasn’t surprised to see Angelea dancing around like it was New Year's. Without Brenda around, Angelea and Krista are like the queens of the castle.

Alexandra, our only plus-sized model, is reaching that point every plus-sized contestant reaches on “Top Model.” You know, it’s when hanging around a bunch of skinny wenches, struggling to fit into costumes or the few dresses that are in her size and being called plus-sized every day finally starts taking their toll on the contestant. It pretty much happens to every one of them, and the only one who broke through that phase went on to win, Cycle 10’s Whitney Thompson.

Don’t be a drag
In the first challenge, Tyra’s former modeling agent, Pat Cleveland, returned, and she brought along “The City’s” Whitney Port. Yay! I love that Bambi-eyed girl! The models then got dressed in one of Whitney’s designs and got full hair and makeup. Meanwhile “Crazy” Cleveland with her frightening spiked eyelashes spoke to the girls about their personalities and how they can bring that into their modeling. I’m not quite sure if she told them how they could do that. I guess it’s enough just to talk about it.

Americas-next-top-model-pat-cleveland-whitney-port They soon got a chance to test what they’d learned after arriving at the drag cabaret restaurant Lucky Cheng’s. Miss Jay met them there and told them they would be testing out their runway walks with some extra personality thrown in. First of all, can we talk about that mess of a Tyra drag queen? She looked like a football player who lost a dare.

Anyway, the women had to walk with personality. Isn’t that the eternal struggle for the contestants? Of course, Angelea and Krista worked their walks, because they had personality to spare. Hello, Krista did her mannequin pose! I can’t say the same for Anslee, who just couldn’t tap into the campiness of it all and walked as if someone stole her lunch money.

Krista ended up winning five pieces from Whitney’s line, and since Angelea was last week’s winner, she took part in the bounty, as well.

The next morning, Alasia was once again running late. The girls left her to figure out how to use an elevator. When the elevator didn’t arrive (even when Alasia pushed the call button a hundred times and screamed at it), she ended up getting a lesson on how to use the stairs. When she got in the limo, the other gals gave it to her. I couldn’t believe that she kept herself from going nuts. Who are you and what did you do with Alasia?

Hair-raising photo shoot
When they get to the shoot, Jay was there to introduce them to Derek J and Weaven Steven. I swear they were like characters out of a “Saturday Night Live” skit. Turns out they make fashion out of hair, which was kind of gross and gorgeous at the same time. The women split into two teams and followed the stylists to get their weave on.

During the photo shoot, the teams got to heckle each other. I believe it was meant to teach the women how to focus, but the whole thing just didn’t work for me. You’d think these women would know how to trash talk, but Alasia just kept saying, “Wa wa wa.” And Jessica was replacing curse words with just their first letter. What did I expect from a gal who used the word “golly” earlier in the show, right?

Krista and Angelea were the best in my opinion. I was totally impressed that Krista was able not only to reference the iconic Grace Jones, but also channel her during her shoot. Alasia seemed stuck in one pose. Alexandra was still moping and had very little energy or creativity. Anslee just didn’t know what to do with herself, and Jay seemed just over giving her direction.

Americas-next-top-model-anslee Who’s going to New Zealand?
Whitney Port returned to join the judging panel for elimination or, should I say, for crazy land. The panel started acting out a skit complete with footage of sheep in some back office somewhere, and then these clouds with the letter “Z” in them fell from the ceiling. I want to use the word “elaborate” to describe the scene, but that implies there was something extravagant in it. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Tyra must have had her interns creating those clouds and a sign that came down revealing that the contestants were going to New Zealand. It all looked like elementary-school arts and crafts. We soon learned why they had to save money on production, though. This week’s winner and a friend would be flying to New Zealand, a 22-hour flight, first class. Tyra knows that money has to come from somewhere!

Krista won the challenge with her sharp cheekbones and Grace Jones-inspired shots. In the bottom two were Alexandra and Anslee. Tyra told Anslee that she had a gorgeous face, but she didn’t know what to do with her body. She then told Alexandra that the judges were sensing a lack of passion. So, who goes? The one who can’t model, of course. Anslee isn’t going to New Zealand.

I hope Alexandra breaks through her rut. Considering how much Krista seems to be growing as a model and for knowing who Grace Jones is, I’m going to change my top three. Now, my top picks are Krista, Angelea and Raina.

What did you think of the models’ hair-raising shoot?

On Friday: I’m talking to eliminated model Anslee. Questions? Leave them in the comments sections below.

— Jethro Nededog (follow me on Twitter @TheRealJethro)

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Top photo: Krista in her winning shot on “America’s Next Top Model.” Credit: Pottle Productions / The CW

Middle photo: From left, Whitney Port, Pat Cleveland, Jessica, Raina and Alasia at the drag challenge. Credit: Barbara Nitke / The CW

Bottom photo: Anslee in the shot that sent her packing. Credit: Pottle Productions / The CW

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