'The Amazing Race': Leave no coconut behind
This week's episode of "The Amazing Race" found the teams saying au revoir to the Champagne region of France to travel to the Seychelles, which many of the teams had never heard of and couldn't pronounce to save their lives. My favorite pronunciation was something along the lines of "say chilies."
But this leg of the race wasn't really about soaking in the tropical splendor of these African islands. I don't know that I could have pulled my gaze away from the majestic beauty of La Digue in order to focus on the race at hand. But then again, I don't have a $1 million carrot dangling on a stick in front me, either.
Sadly, this was also one of those legs where everything seemed to go wrong for several teams, from bad seats on an airplane to ending up an hour behind the three front teams. And, oh, those accursed coconuts.
With only six teams left in the race, the pressure was on for the remaining players to get to the front of the pack and stay there, but upon arriving on La Digue, some of the strongest teams ended up right at the bottom of the pile, with the detectives and the cowboys stuck--along with Carol and Brandy--behind Brent and Caite. Yes, the air-headed models managed, by self-selecting seats on the plane, to walk off with the early lead.
Fortunately, these two blew their lead almost as soon as they attempted to grab it. Arriving at the detour and choosing Ox Trot as their designated stop, they loaded a cart with coconuts and then proceeded to molest a slow-moving ox to a fruit merchant, all while calling each other names. (Best playground insult: "You're a dummy!") But the real problem was that Brent and Caite had left a coconut behind, a fact they discovered when they finally arrived at the fruit merchant.
Their reactions? Brent threatened to quit the race altogether, rather than ride the ox back and locate the errant coconut. Caite, meanwhile, whined like a 6-year-old who lost a game of Candyland: "I don't want to play anymore. This is so stupid!" I half-expected her to turn beet-red and stomp her feet in frustration.
But it wasn't just Brent and Caite who failed to check the area around their cart for missing coconuts. Jet and Cord and Brandy and Carol both made the same mistake, costing them significant time in having to turn around and retrieve the coconuts, placing both teams dead last.
Yet the mistakes just kept on coming: first-place finishers Steve and Allie left their packs--containing all of their clothes--at the Turtle Toddle detour. Fortunately, they held onto their passport and cash but, come on, what made you think you'd be heading back there later on, guys? While Allie was upset about the loss of her makeup and clothes (other than the banana-stained ones on her back), Steve looked at it as an opportunity to shed unwanted baggage. They can run faster, after all, with less to carry. True, I suppose.
The Road Block involved taking a boat out to a buoy (or, as Brent called it, a "dingy"), diving down and untying a bottle. Arriving back at shore, the bottle would reveal a treasure map, which--once assembled--pointed the route to the pit stop, Phil Keoghan, and, hopefully, a raised eyebrow or two. Kudos to Steve and Allie for managing to breeze through this leg, with brothers Dan and Jordan right behind them. (Loved their "Box the Ox" humor this week.)
Next up: Brent and Caite and the detectives, who each told Phil that they wanted Brandy and Carol eliminated from the race. After all, they had made fun of Caite and asked where her tiara was, even though she had only been in a few pageants! But, the very best line of the episode--or quite possibly the entire season--came from Brent in regard to loathed lesbians Carol and Brandy as he said, "It's pretty anonymous among the teams."
Brent, I think you'll find the word you're searching for is "unanimous." And, yes, Caite, it's abundantly clear now who the bad kids in school were. Wow.
But it was Carol and Brandy who managed to get ahead of the cowboys when Jet and Cord made another blunder, leaving behind the crucial bottle on their boat and wandering up to the pit stop. Swimming over 300 yards out to the boat and then back, they managed to check in last. But fortunately this was a non-elimination leg, leaving the cowboys still in the race, yet at a huge disadvantage. Can they manage to overcome last place and a speed bump? One has to hope there are no coconuts involved next week...
What did you think of this week's episode? Glad to see the cowboys sticking around for another leg? Sad that Brent didn't actually quit? Who are you rooting for to win this and who will be the next team to be eliminated? Head to the comments section to discuss.
-- Jace Lacob (Follow my musings on television, food and more television on Twitter at @televisionary)
Photo: Brothers Jet and Cord seem beset by mistakes this week on "The Amazing Race." Credit: CBS / Monty Brinton.