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'Real Housewives of New York City': The love boat

RealhousewivesnycThey're baaaaaaaaaaack!

If you managed to stay awake past the lackluster OC finale, then you probably got a surge of energy back after traveling -- via your TV sets -- to the East Coast for a dose of Jill, Bethenny, Luann, Ramona, Alex ... heck, even Kelly was a welcome sight. Once that opening recap started, I breathed a sigh of relief. Oh, how I've missed Simon's red pants! And my heart smiled when I heard Kelly's oh-so-annoying high-pitched voice screech "Bethenny, stop!" All was right in the world again. Don't get me wrong. The gals of OC will always have a special place in my heart. After all, they started this "Housewives" craze that has engulfed my life. But the NYC ladies ... they have the key to my heart.

All right, let's take a bite of the big apple, shall we?

The season opener started with a little boat fete in the Hamptons hosted by a bikini-clad Ramona. And -- pause -- there's already something to be said. More power to her for having the confidence to wear that itty-bitty, teeny-weeny yellow bikini. But ... uh ... my brain is still trying to register the ratio of flesh to fabric. Flesh definitely had the bigger number. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who felt that way. Cut to Jill saying: "Ramona is way too freakin' old to be wearing a bikini. I don't care if she's renewed, re ... Please. Ramona, cover up. I mean, honestly." Enough said. And did anyone else feel overwhelmed by all of Ramona's energy? Wow. This whole "renewing myself" schtick must be working. She invited Alex? And ... she's hugging her? Wait. Is she cuddling with her? All that doesn't matter because I'm still trying to process Ramona's "I look like an older version of Cameron Diaz" statement. Right. And I look like Salma Hayek.

It wasn't long before things got catty. Jill was annoyed by Ramona for "hawking" her jewelry. I was just glad the collection didn't include bejeweled cuffs. Jill also shared with the other ladies that she and Bethenny are on the outs. Something about Bethenny telling Jill to get a hobby. I don't know why that peeved Jill more than Bethenny's alleged lack of support during Bobby's medical scare. Heck, we could all use a hobby. I know I could. I know more about these ladies than I should. Still, it's sad to see the two at odds. They always provided such awesome banter. Now things are just meh.

Instead, I had to endure a Luann-Ramona fight. Luann, ever the classy lady, decided to use a perfectly fine boat ride/party to rain on Ramona's parade. Seems Mario, under his breath at an event, referred to Luann as "Countless." Maybe she heard wrong? Nah. Not likely. It is Mario. Still, I have to side with Ramona. Luann should not have brought up the issue at the party. And two, it's something she should have discussed with Mario. And really, is there a point? Meanwhile, Ramona, feeling attacked, sought the comfort of her non-Housewives friends. Cue more unnecessary flesh.

Back in NYC, Bethenny is baring it all as she shoots a PETA ad. Things have changed for her. She's juggling a busy schedule ... and a boyfriend. And she's not adverse to making sure we're aware of that. There needs to be a word count every time she mentions Jason's name. It's only slightly obnoxiously cute. Yeah, it's great she's happy. But I need some of that biting wit!

I had to look no further. Jason (ugh! Now I'm gonna start the incessant Jason mentioning) dropped off Bethenny -- in a Skinnygirl Margarita car no less -- to have drinks with Luanne. And that's when I got my popcorn. Bethenny was already annoyed at having to drive two hours for a drink. The two went back and forth about who was busier for a bit ... and then Classless Countess dropped a bomb. Luann -- in her Mrs. Howell voice -- wanted to clarify who did the inviting and who would do the paying. I get it. Bethenny once made a snarky remark about having to pay. Get over it! Get a hobby! You're on TV. Things will be said behind your back! What ensued was 10 minutes of pure awesomeness. Loved Bethenny's aside: "Your house doesn't have 1 inch that's not glass. And I am going to take a rock and I am going to throw it straight through every window." I think that's a hobby Jill might enjoy! Bethenny tried to point out Luann's fake facade. Luann tried to point out how Bethenny's snarky comments are hurtful, even bringing up Jill in the conversation. To me, it just seems Luann wants everyone's pity about this divorce. Sure, Bethenny could have probably done more than send a gift basket (still, that was pretty amazing), but the whole world can't stop because this lady is getting a divorce. If anyone needs a hobby, it might be Luann.

So Show Trackers, what did you think? Did that preview of what's to come this season make you super giddy? "Go to sleep! Go to sleep!" -- ah, I can't wait! Team Bethenny or Team Jill? And what is with all the weird overlapping between OC and NYC -- Turks and Caicos? Thyroid issues?

-- Yvonne Villarreal

 
Comments () | Archives (15)

First of all,most NewYorkers are wiseguys and quick witted,Marios,s remark was funny,she is Countless.These people have been friends far too long not to get eachothers humor.I think Ramona was right about Jill,when Bethany started to take off with her marketing,and had little time for idle gossip,Jill who does nothing with her time, became jealous.Luanne is obviously lost without the Count ,who gave her a cache she no longer enjoys,it must be tough,but she will recover.There are many men who prefer ladies,and she is a lady.What surprised me most ,was how vulgar and coarse Bethany has become.She really embaressed her very nice boyfriend with the beaver remark.Without the prgnancy,I doubt she would have hung on to this guy.

Who are these loonie women?? Not anyone I know. They have nothing better to do than run around backstabbing each other. They all should get a job and earn a living like the rest of us. No time for this stupid stuff. None of them have an ounce of class or they would not be on this stupid show. I have no class either or I would not be watching this moronic stuff but at least I have a job and some friends who don't hate me.

I was totally disappointed in Jill. She is more nasty, snarky and bitchy than last year. She whines constantly and seems to be a very unhappy women (with all she has). She is jealous of Bethenny. The Countless constantly shows she has no "class". What nerve to write a book about manners when she has none. We are not impressed with her title, which seems to be the sum and total of what she is. Get a life Countless. I'm afraid by making a big deal out of Mario's remark you will now be known as the Countless. Your attack on Ramona was uncalled for and mean spirited. Don't know if I can stand these two twits (along with air-head Kelly) for another seaon.

From the OC to NY, i was on edge, entirely to much bickering. I mean i was even upset by the end of the NY episode, LOL. Lordy Lordy this women need to really relax

I thought Ramona waaaay overeacted to Countless. She should have said, "I'll ask Mario about that, & ask him to call you." CASE CLOSED. I think that's all Countless wanted. What you didn't mention is the proprietory attitude Jason had over Bethenny. He was doing the, "I own you & don't want the world to see you naked, cause you're mine." vibe. That's a dealbreaker right there & I don't give that relationship a year. Once again, these women were AWFUL & it was so delicious watching them crash & burn. It takes a certain kind of person who will expose their character bankruptcy on tv. But then, fame is a powerful narcotic.

Great article, and totally thought the same about the Turks and Caicos thing.

It seems like all these women are getting more mean spirited and nasty, which is hard to believe. Bethanny is so unapologetically mean, tactless and insensitive, and then sits there dumbfounded that she's so offensive to the others. I can't imagine that boyfriend of hers is going to stick around much longer, well, maybe for the baby's sake. Ramona has the most annoying personality I've ever seen, and he freakouts are unbelievable, I'm embarrassed for her. Alex has, by far, the most class and decorum on the show. She actually tries to treat the others with kindness and respect, and as thanks she gets treated badly by the others. Too bad her husband is so creepy. At least these women don't seem to be as big of drunks as the O.C. housewives. Holy Cow those women can booze it up!! I won't be watching any more of this trainwreck. I prefer NICE people!!

Turks and Caicos must be offering free promotional trips for the housewives. It's great advertising for them.

Bethanny - annoying, whiny voice, and a know it all in her own mind. Like the others have said, the boyfriend will probably run for the hills eventually, or maybe stick around for the birth and that's it. She is sickening and he is too nice a guy for her. She is CRASS!
Lu Ann - you are a joke, I saw you at the mall hawking your manners book and who are you kidding???
Jill - I like you, even when you get obnoxious
Ramona - love the new haircut, I think you were genuinely trying when you had the women on the yacht etc., you are like the VIcki of NYC
Blonde lady - can't remember her name - the one with the very STRANGE and CREEPY husband - you are lucky they keep you on - you are the only "nice" one in the group
Kelly - no comment - hard to figure you out

Where to begin? I've always loved Bethanny and Jill but I will have to side with Beth on this one. I think Ramona's underdog comment may very well be true. Jill can't seem to be happy for any of the other ladies and their accomplishments. A true friend helps their friends out of kindness not because they want the accolades and praise. Jill does need a hobby.
Luann, I'm hot and cold with. She should have waited to tell Ramona her issues with Mario. Frankly, I think she is blowing this all out of proportion. But if it bothers her that much talk to Mario.
Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, oh my, there is just noone home there. If anyone has a chance to read her blog on the Bravo site please do. I'm still scratching my head. I will never take this woman seriously. She is crazy and she does try to collect celebrities as her friends. There is nothing authentic about her.

Of all these women I think Bethenny is the worst offender. She will be with people and say one thing, and then when they're not there, but she's still on camera, she'll call Luann for example a "drag queen". However, she tries to clear herself by telling everyone she's "up front" with them. Sorry Bethenny, your actions are more telling than your words. You're a back stabber who seems desperate for money, fame, a man and a baby. When all is said and done, at least you'll be left with the baby. Of all these women, she is the most toxic and unstable.

I think Bethenny is getting an attitude.Worse than the one she had before.She doesn't seem to care that her friendship with Jill is kaput.What's that all about? Is she getting too big for her britches since she's had success with her books, etc.Thats a shame because a true friend is worth her weight in gold.Your loss Bethenny, Jill will never lack friends!!!Ramona looks good...I read somewhere that she's much older than the others but she can hold her own with any one of them.With all their drama I welcome them back with open arms....OC was too trashy.And I love Jill!

Yvonne -- love this blog & your dead-on re-caps -- I look forward to your reviews as much as I do each show. Thanks!

I think Bethanny is awful, calling LuAnn a "dumb drag queen" was incredibly mean and hateful on her part. Why any guy would want to marry her after seeing the way she is on national tv is beyond me.

Kelly got on my nerves at first, but I grew to love her before the season ended. I liked it when you gave away half your closet! That was very unselfish of you! If you have any extra clothes I would like some too! I need a whole new wardrobe. Keep up your wild, crazy sayings :>


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