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'Melrose Place': About last night?

March 10, 2010 |  7:00 am
Amanda ben melrose place Boy, Michael Rady wasn't kidding when he told us that Sydney's murder has been wrapped up and everyone's moving on. Without blinking, we pick up the morning after Jonah hooks up with Ella, Auggie kisses Riley, Lauren ODs and Violet kills Vanessa in the pool.

Sure, there are lots of mentions of "last night" -- mostly of the who-kissed-whom variety, not who-drowned-whom. There isn't even some yellow tape around the pool, and I'm almost positive that at least David, Jonah and Lauren don't have a clue about last night's skirmish. Wouldn't David at least be concerned? It was his step-mom who killed his ex-lover. But since that's what they're giving us, let's concentrate on the dewy-eyed, post-coital-cuddling kind of morning afters.
Jonah -- having directly or indirectly alienated everyone else in the complex -- asks David whether he should tell Riley about his late-night tryst with Ella. David suggests bottling up his guilt and angst; something David seems to do to get the superhero strength he needs to pummel the guy who made Lauren sick.

Question: If the guy of your dreams finally leaves his boring schoolmarm fiancee and winds up in bed with you, wouldn't you want said boy to tell said (currently unemployed) teacher about last night's shenanigans? But it did make me feel a bit better that Ella's motive for wanting to spill about their night together seemed to be that she wanted to lock in her man, not to hurt Riley. Deep down, she seemed to know what she did wasn't right.

Auggie violet melrose place Still, it doesn't seem like it will take long for Ella to branch off into another lovers' triangle if she so desired -- this time with Amanda and her boyfriend Ben (Billy Campbell). Trust me on this, Ella: You do not want to take a Billy Campbell away from Amanda Woodward. Stick to your Anne Hathaway in "The Devil Wears Prada" shtick and do her bidding.

But handy rule of thumb: if your boss says she doesn't want trendy food ala the foie gras lollipops at The Bazaar, don't give her the former sous chef from a retro-lounge who just fell off the wagon again.

I guess Auggie wasn't all bad. He did know that when he wanted to drink and ruin his career he should best do it with the the owner of the house's good wine. And he was stable and stealthy enough to move out of his apartment and put all of his furniture and belongings in a storage locker in the middle of the night before he took off for the open road with his former lover's possible daughter. If only he'd done this a few weeks ago so Amanda wouldn't have to hire a private investigator to case his apartment for that missing painting.

What do you think? Are you glad to have "Melrose" back? Are you sad to see Auggie and Violet go? What's so special about this painting anyway?

-- Whitney Friedlander

Photos: Top, Amanda and the real Billy Campbell (playing her boyfriend Ben) on "Melrose Place"; bottom, Auggie and Violet plot their getaway. Credit: Scott Humbert / The CW