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'Desperate Housewives': The mystery could have really stayed in the closet

March 15, 2010 |  6:42 am

The secrets of two of the housewives are, well, out of the closet.

In one of the better episodes of the season, things continue to heat up between Robin and Katherine, who of course is in denial about being a “leprechaun”; her denial is thrown into overdrive when Robin inadvertently outs her by greeting her love with a steamy good-morning kiss in front of a baffled Susan. That’s the worst person to get outed in front of. You might as well have had sex in public if you didn’t want the whole town to know.

Another outed housewife is our favorite mysterious temperamental housewife, Angie (Drea de Matteo).
When we left the housewives last, Angie had discovered that Danny had gone to New York to chase after Ana in hopes of getting back with her -- this of course being a major problem, considering the history the Bolens left behind in the Big Apple.

I haven’t truly embraced de Matteo on the Lane, and for good reason. The mystery surrounding her has been overwhelmingly weak, at best. Her leaving is a good thing because Marc Cherry confirmed to Entertainment Weekly that she will be exiting the show in May. He also promised that as her character begins to unravel, “everyone will get how brilliant she is.” 

I’ve never warmed to de Matteo because it’s difficult to go from the brilliance that was “The Sopranos” to this watered-down eco-activist on the run. I really hope, for the show's sake and my DVR, that the ending is explosive. Because the buildup has been lackluster.

Angie is only as good as the material given to her, and this particular story line just hasn’t worked at any point of the season. What would have made her more believable would have been if she embraced her ice- queen persona differently than she had. She came to the Lane and wanted to blend in, albeit from a distance, and once it didn’t happen – largely because of her husband's and son’s screw-ups -- she got into random, clumsy screaming matches with neighbors. But all that did was paint her out to be a witch.

119446_3668_pre The reason mysteries worked in seasons past was little breadcrumbs were dropped during the season to keep the viewer hooked. Look at how Katherine was when first introduced, same for Edie's new husband. Even Betty Applewhite (which ranks as one of my favorite seasons -- they even switched actors and you barely noticed). Granted there was that little tiff over the neighbor who refused to recycle a few weeks back. But that’s not good enough; there could have been more done with that: Angie could have taken her madness to the local grocery store or gotten in more people's faces about it. Granted, it would have been ridiculous, but so is this entire mystery. I can't imagine Cherry & Co. went into the season thinking, "Eco-activist, we got our mystery and it will be juicy."

Maybe “Torchwood’s" John Barrowman -- who it's safe to assume will be this “dangerous” Patrick Logan guy they have been running away from all season -- will light the fire and tie the mystery up nicely.

Cherry & Co. did throw viewers a bone by revealing, as if you didn’t put two and two together already, that Nick isn’t really Danny’s (or Tyler's) father. Thanks, none of us saw that coming.

Angie shared most of her screen time with Gaby. who came along to wrangle Ana but got another Captain Obvious lesson herself. Apparently when she was a model, she wasn’t a good person. Well, get out of here, never saw that coming. What I love about Gaby is she has been paying for her unsavory (but off-the-meter hot) affair from season one and that out of all the housewives, she seems to have the most growth, unlike Lynette “I keep having kids to replace the ones who hate me” Scavo.

Gaby has spent the last two seasons seeking redemption, and making right with Ana -- who deserves none of what has been given to her – was a great scene. It was cute having Heidi Klum and Paulina Porizkova play themselves and remind Gaby of the horrible, and brilliant, things she did to get ahead. It was even cuter that Gaby let Angie in and in turn spilled her secret.

The biggest shock of the episode came when Bree found out that her new overachieving and mildly creepy assistant turned out to be Rex’s son from a one-night stand. Now that I didn't see coming a mile away. I thought this guy would be George 2.0, or possibly bed Andrew -- but never a Van De Camp. Kudos Rex, you’ve been dead for five seasons and you still find a way to unnerve Bree and ultimately send Andrew into a tailspin of destruction. You’re good.

I also didn’t think it would be possible to have all of the Scavo kids in one scene, and as much as Lynette’s paranoid need to control everyone in her brood irritates me, for once she is right. And while on the subject of the Scavo clan, it’s good to have the missing twin back, but really, the “pornstache”?

One final note, whatever happened to the Fairview Strangler, or are we just pretending like it never happened?

-- Gerrick D. Kennedy (Follow me on Twitter)

Upper photo: Angie (Drea de Matteo) arrives in the Big Apple. Credit: ABC.

Lower photo: Gaby and Angie run into supermodel Heidi Klum. Credit: ABC


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