Conan Twitter Tracker: The End

Look, Conan, when you were doing the elusive celebrity Twitter thing -- not following anyone but wanting to be followed by all -- you were cool.

But now that you've come out of hiding and announced to the world that you are following a "random" person, we have this to say to you, "You are dead to us @conanobrien!" Do you hear us? Dead!

Not only have we been reading your tweets--and trust us, this is not a pretty gig--we have been reading everything your Freckles, your Squirrel, your Sharpie, your Monkey, your Taurus, and your Beard have to say. Yes, even that fuzzy, red growth got our attention.

And this is how you repay us? By choosing Sarah Killen of Michigan, who by the way, in a very suspicious manner,  began tweeting on Feb. 22 -- two days before you tweeted for the first time?

We are sure she is a lovely person. How do we know? Because she calls herself "LovelyButton" on Twitter.  Proof. And she's apparently engaged to a guy who feels "lucky" to have her. But there's just no excuse for this extremely public slight.

Estas muerto!  Muerto! Muerto! Muerto! Get Conando to translate that one for ya.

One last thing: We did receive your note about your crazy Liquor Beach and we would have commented on that, but forget that, dude.

So. Dead.

--Maria Elena Fernandez (follow me on Twitter @writerchica)

Photo: Sarah Killen's photo from her Twitter page.

Related

Conan Twitter Tracker: Freckle poetry and more

Conan Twitter Tracker: Freckles, a monkey, and a Sharpie join the fray

Comments

[The Revolutionary]

I totally agree, @ConanOBrien is SO dead to me.

I can't wait to see what he tweets next.

[Jared Liotta]

Calm down loser it was a joke.

[Anonymous]

Why are you miffed at this? You're overanalyzing this. It's light, comical, and entertaining.

[Jared Liotta]

and watch it lady conan will never lose his "cool" :)

[Catie]

Umm... you're crazy.

[Jason]

Really? I thought it was funny. And what is Revolutionary talking about? "Conan's dead to me....can't wait to see what he tweets next." Well, which is it?
That's like saying to your girlfriend, "We're over! Sooo, pick you up at 8?"

[lookhere]

What a merit-less argument. And a pointless article at that.

[conanfansince1993]

come on! it was a joke. you obviously don't understand conan's humor. bet you watch leno!

[Angel]

people have hard time comprehending humor, much? Dur, dur!

[TweetDeckTV]

Jealous? I don't see any guile. At best, Miss Killen could know someone who knows someone. But I doubt she is on the payroll. Seriously chica, how much did yoouu earn from this twitter exchange?
Next you'll be saying Sarah Palin has a mendi fetish (when really we all know she is just addicted to huffing sharpie vapors).

[Jeff]

Hahaha that Conan Liquor Beach thing (http://conanliquorbeach.com) is great! as you said - crazy. but good crazy!!

[Totheusernamed]

Conan is too dingy.... too silly.... and kinda old and wrinkly. Sorry men... but you do that all the time. This time it's true!

[Andrew]

It's no wonder newspapers are in decline if this is they type of story editors deem worthy of linkage from the homepage. Or, maybe it's just the LAT.

[Maria Elena]

sat·ire   [sat-ahyuhr] –noun
1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.

2.a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.

3.a literary genre comprising such compositions.

[francis]

Was this supposed to be funny? I instead like to laugh at the diminishing quality of the Times' reporting...

[Lisa]

Lol!! liquorbeach!! lmbo