Conan Twitter Tracker: The End
Look, Conan, when you were doing the elusive celebrity Twitter thing -- not following anyone but wanting to be followed by all -- you were cool.
But now that you've come out of hiding and announced to the world that you are following a "random" person, we have this to say to you, "You are dead to us @conanobrien!" Do you hear us? Dead!
Not only have we been reading your tweets--and trust us, this is not a pretty gig--we have been reading everything your Freckles, your Squirrel, your Sharpie, your Monkey, your Taurus, and your Beard have to say. Yes, even that fuzzy, red growth got our attention.
And this is how you repay us? By choosing Sarah Killen of Michigan, who by the way, in a very suspicious manner, began tweeting on Feb. 22 -- two days before you tweeted for the first time?
We are sure she is a lovely person. How do we know? Because she calls herself "LovelyButton" on Twitter. Proof. And she's apparently engaged to a guy who feels "lucky" to have her. But there's just no excuse for this extremely public slight.
Estas muerto! Muerto! Muerto! Muerto! Get Conando to translate that one for ya.
One last thing: We did receive your note about your crazy Liquor Beach and we would have commented on that, but forget that, dude.
--Maria Elena Fernandez (follow me on Twitter @writerchica)
Photo: Sarah Killen's photo from her Twitter page.