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‘America’s Next Top Model’: The contestants do a little dance

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In this episode of “America’s Next Top Model,” the contestants are tested on what they know and whether they can fake what they don’t.

Before the competition even starts, we check in with Ren. If you’ll remember from last week, I thought she was ready to leave the competition. She admits that she’s doing this for her mother, who is a fan of the show. While she likes the modeling industry, Ren says she didn’t expect the house drama to be so much of the competition. It’s clear she has never watched ‘Top Model’ before (or attended sixth-grade camp).

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Jump on The Fab Bus
In the first competition, the contestants board a crazy-looking bus called The Fab Bus. Toccara from Cycle 3 joins them and splits them into two teams. They’ll compete in a game show with questions about the fashion industry. The winning team will get Bluefly.com gift cards and a chance to model in the site’s spring campaign.

I wouldn’t say the questions are very difficult, but [insert dumb model joke here]. The teams exchange leads a couple of times and then they’re neck-and-neck. The final winning question comes down to Brenda and Simone. Who hosts the German version of “Top Model”? The answer is Heidi Klum. Duh. Brenda just seems totally bewildered by the question, and then Simone swoops in for the win. The winning models -- Krista, Simone, Angelea, Alexandra, Jessica and last week’s winner, Raina -- move on to the Bluefly.com go-sees. Raina seems to impress them. They think Jessica is too skinny for the spring line. Amen. Angelea has them hooked until they ask her to pose. Why would she wink in one pose and then flex her muscle like Popeye in another? It’s her second time around. One would figure she could handle an impromptu request to pose. I love how the Bluefly.com ladies literally recoil from her. Poor Alexandra. The women never say anything about her being a plus-size model, but they do offer the default comment for larger girls: She has a very pretty face. Simone and Krista knock them out. In the end, Simone wins. I think that despite her edgy haircut, she has the bubbly thing down. That would seem perfect for Bluefly.com consumers.

Meanwhile, the losing team has to do Bluefly.com’s inventory. Ren, who jumped the line to get into the competition in the first place, is just not happy with being stuck there in the basement doing the work. In fact, she’s just not happy. Period.

Later at the house, Brenda becomes the object of scorn when Krista, Alexandra and Angelea view her as bossy. I’m sorry, but saying Brenda looks like Miranda from “Sex and the City” and Chucky is just too spot-on. Ren, who says she wants to avoid drama, then tells Brenda the girls were talking about her. Um, opposite day, Ren. Then once again, Ren declares that she’s done with the drama in the house and wants to be eliminated. Hello, Ren, you instigated the fight!

Get down tonight!

In the photo shoot competition, the women are assigned to model different dances and they get a professional to help them with moves.

While most of the girls just get a wardrobe, Anslee gets rhythmic dancing, which includes a fun ribbon. But, there’s no element of creativity with her and Jay Manuel basically has to direct her every pose. Ren has disco, and yet she also can’t break out of her unhappiness to really get into the fun dance. Raina is on a roll and just seems to be in the zone the entire time. Brenda has African dance and she felt so out of place. I have to say, her styling bordered on last cycle’s black face controversy. Just sayin’.

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My favorite was Krista as the ballerina. I thought she looked gorgeous and I haven’t really been a fan of hers. Simone gets hip-hop and I am in disbelief at how lost she is. It’s as foreign to her as African dance was to Brenda. Excuse me, Alasia! I’m wild about Alasia posing as a modern dancer. She is selling it! Did you know she had all that in her?

You have to want this
First, is Ms. Tyra wearing a unitard? I don’t know about that look for her.
In the elimination, the president of Wilhelmina Models, Sean Patterson, joined the judging panel. Andre was also visibly annoyed that Anslee just didn’t work that ribbon. Give Andre that prop and I bet he’ll have that thing swirling in shapes you didn’t know existed. Tyra says that Tatianna’s film was horrible and that she could only find the one pretty picture. I can’t believe Alasia’s outfit. I can only name one profession where dressing like that is OK, but you can get arrested for it. Didn’t she say she was a Christian? That outfit was a sin. Her photo, though, was angelic. Krista’s photo was as beautiful as I thought it would be from watching her shoot. Ren’s picture was a robotic disco mess. But then, Tyra called her out on wanting to leave. You know Tyra knows all. When given the choice, Ren said she wanted to stay.

The winner is Alasia. In the bottom two stand Ren and Brenda. Then, as Tyra does her usual explanation of why the girls are in the bottom, Ren basically eliminates herself when she admits she’s there for the wrong reasons. Well, she would have eliminated herself, but Tyra and the judging panel had already decided to keep Brenda.

OK, so my current top three are still Raina (obviously), Angelea and Jessica.
Who are your top girls right now?

— Jethro Nededog (follow me on Twitter @TheRealJethro)

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Photos, from top: Alasia in her winning pose; Krista gets some ballet instruction before her shoot; Ren in the photo that eliminated her from the competition. Credit: Pottle Productions / The CW

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