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‘Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains’: Parvati and Russell get too close for tribe’s comfort

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I know a lot happened on tonight’s episode of ‘Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains,’ but the events are clouded by one horrible visual:

Parvati actually cuddled with Russell. So. Gross.

OK, OK. I know it’s cold out there on the island of Samoa, and everyone must be yearning for some physical interaction. But Russell is married -- remember that lovely lady he introduced to the audience during last season’s finale? And sure, Parvati is arguably the biggest flirt in the history of ‘Survivor,’ so the whole thing probably meant nothing to her. But still. I was shocked to see the two spooning. So shocked, in fact, that I actually tweeted at Parvati (full disclosure: the account isn’t verified, so it could technically be an impostor--we’re asking CBS) to ask how she could do such a thing.

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‘You do what you gotta do when you’re a gamer ;)’ she wrote. ‘you’d do it too. i know you would.’

I don’t know about that one, especially because the whole cuddling fiasco seemingly got Parvati nowhere with her tribe other than into hot water.

Boston Rob, who continually keeps proving he’s one of the best players in history, said it best: ‘Whoever is sleeping next to who ... it will tell you who’s aligned with who.’

Cue a creepy night vision shot of Coach stroking Jerri’s hair. Meanwhile, even Coach seems to be unable to resist Parvati’s charm, even though he claims to understand it.

‘Parvati is the most dangerous player on the team,’ he said. ‘She’s got the charm. She’s got the smile. For some reason, whenever she pays attention to you, you feel like you light up.’

The Coach we all know and love was back in full force this week. There he was, meditating and chanting self-empowering phrases on the sandy beach. Later, he recounted another crazy story which we were only privy to part of, but it included something outlandish about 95 degree temperatures and his gums hurting, thereby making it amazing. He topped that off with an even more pretentious comment about being the only ‘honorable’ man on the island, which he backed up with a Martin Luther King quote.

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Finally, during the immunity/reward challenge, he went nuts when he was told he’d used an unfair ‘karate chop’ tactic and flipped off host Jeff Probst. And then he wore a singular (handmade?) feather earring to tribal council.

This guy. It’s good to have you back, Coach -- your antics never fail to make for good TV. And it looks like he’s only going to go more ballistic next week. Why was he bawling?

Maybe it’s because the Villains will continue to lose their momentum. They were schooled pretty harshly by the Heroes this week during the challenge. They couldn’t beat out a single Heroes member during that mud wrestling challenge? Really? I mean, James vs. Randy, no question - James wins. But I thought some of the other match ups were equal, and the Villains’ performance was truly embarrassing.

Plus, Russell has already started muckraking around camp. I wasn’t surprised when he buried the machete, and now that he has Parvati by his side by another week, there’s no telling what the mysterious pair could be up to next.

It’s also interesting to note that in my Twitter back-and-forth with Parvati, I expressed concern over whether or not she will leave early on in the game.

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‘Never!’ she initially replied Thursday evening. About an hour later, she had deleted her response. The plot thickens. What does it all mean?

Were you as repulsed by Russell and Parvati’s cuddling as I was, or did you find it endearing? Could the disorganized Villains be losing steam against the energized Heroes tribe? Share your thoughts in the comments.

--Amy Kaufman (follow me on Twitter @AmyKinLA)

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