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'Real Housewives of Orange County': Simon says

VickiTamra, Tamra, Tamra. A tattoo? Of Simon's name on your ring finger? Really? Was that really the only way you could profess your love? "I just hope it's not the kiss of death," she says to the camera. Oh, Tamra. We'll return to them later. On to the drama.

Lynne, in an attempt to smooth things over after her drunken outburst at the cooking party, decides to host her own (forced) shindig and (only) invites the housewives and their mates. It's supposed to be a housewarming party -- though, judging from the last two minutes of the episode, that was definitely a bit premature. Alexis and hubby Jim tell Lynne that they'll cut their romantic trip short to make it to the festivities .... but before then, we had to witness some of that romantic getaway. It consisted of this: Alexis, who (gasp!) only brought one bathing suit instead of two, squealed when Jim said she could buy another one because heaven forbid she wear the same one during their two-day love fest. Then we see the lovebirds visit the hotel where they first set eyes on each other, aka known as the time Jim approached his 'sexy elegant' future wife.

Was anyone buying his spiel about that? I'll cut the details short, wouldn't want people dozing off as they read. Wait, before I do that, I must share the laughable pickup line he used on his much younger (15 years, to be exact) wife: "I know you're either hot or thirsty, so which one is it?" Between that and his awesome (read: questionable) fashion sense, it's no wonder she found him irresistible, right?

Back in O.C., Lynne's party eventually begins. And when alcohol and the housewives mingle, there's bound to be drama. This time, it's Tamra who seems to be having one too many. And with everyone under one roof, she sees an opportunity for Simon and Vicki to reconcile. Ambitious. Simon appears as if he's willing to cooperate. But that didn't last long. And soon his childish rampage began, equipped with curse words and name calling. Oh, Simon. Get over yourself. No one is jealous of your marriage. It's not perfect. Tattoo or no tattoo. The amount of effort he puts in to believing that lie is a little ridiculous at this point. And him walking out in a heated fit only demonstrated his immaturity.

Tamra isn't any better. I get that Simon's her husband. But if what Vicki is saying is true, Tamra should own up to her involvement in putting Vicki in the middle. Simon and Jim already get too much screen time. Anymore camera time devoted to this Simon-Vicki feud would necessitate a name change for this show.

Things get more heated at the dinner table. Everyone decides to share their "how we met each other" stories. After having to hear the tale of Alexis and Jim already, I, too, was snoring when Alexis shared every detail of their story (again). The topic eventually turned to the Florida trip. You remember that, right? The girl-bonding trip that somehow turned into a couples retreat. Things escalate, and Vicki and Donn decide to leave. It's a tearful car ride back for Vicki as she questions her friendship with Tamra. Meanwhile, Tamra is joining in on the Vicki bashing back at Lynne's.

So what did you think, Show Trackers? Was anyone else hoping Donn would defend Vicki? Do you think Tamra will get that tattoo removed now that Simon has filed for divorce? Were you shocked by the lack of drama that Slade provided? It was like he wasn't even at the party!

-- Yvonne Villarreal

Photo: Vicki Gunvalson. Credit: Bravo

Comments () | Archives (11)

I was so upset to see Tamra acting like she was so inocent I believe it when vicki had said well tamra your the one bitching about your own husband. Tamra from the start of the show has been one big fake nasty two face person she can not own up to anything she has ever said. You are so mean tamra for talking about everyone else but never really look at yousrelf. Your oldest son is the one who needs so much help he is such a pathetic piece of drunk and your telling lynn she needs help which I know she does but please for god sake look at yourself and keep you fat mouth closed

I was astounded by the phoney tears from Vicky after the party.Is this woman kidding? She has feelings? She wants people to like her? Since when?

honestly, i love how you wrote this. Further more, i love this show. Tamra used to be one of my favorites but she did put vicki in the middle as her "girl talk" and shouldve stuck up to Simon for Vicki as Vicki does for her. Also i didnt like the snoring from them but i didnt really care what Alexis was wearing and drinking every minute. Or how hot they looked. come on can we be anymore "look at me". I REALLY DO LIKE ALEXIS and Jim, but this is jsut over the top. Then there is Gretchen, all i gotta say is i like the fact that she is doing something successful for herself. Proud of you Slade, um i cant believe you kept your mouth shut-nice.. Lynn and her hubby are amazing. there is no one better, in this episode she definatly was being peace maker and never once talked smack. and i love that. - i wish Don would just pick Vicki up and walk away.

I'm really sorry but does anyone else feel that Jim is one of the most arrogant men you have ever see. He belittles his wife, and she takes it. Please stop throwing the christian thing around. Alexis needs to cover her body a little (for a christian) And it really wouldnt hurt jim to at least act like he is a hands on dad. Tamra and Vicki are great. Simon is to controlling. Lynne, Take the phone away from your spoiled daughter, ground her for eternity. She tells u she thinks she mature for her age and then calls u a bitch. Come on Lynn...who cares if u have to correct her on tv.....Do It!

At the dinner party why did Jim wear three different shirts?

I can't stand Alexis and Jim--does she actually think she's a "working" stay at home mom with TWO nannies and a maid? PLEASE! I used to like Tamra, but she is too manipulative--she put Vicki in the middle and won't back her up. Vicki is right--she IS the only one who really works--Gretchen's been "working her a** off on her make-up? I seriously doubt it.

I predict Vicki will be leaving the show sometime soon. I believe she feels the others are too immature. When in fact that might be somewhat truthful, but nor are any of them willing to put up her bitching to them and then her wanting them to respect her at the same time. All of the ladies with the exception of Lynn as some balls when it comes to firing back at Vicki, and Vicki does not know how to deal with that.

ooooooooh...where's Slade the troublemaker when you need him? i think he was keeping extra quiet since the subject of "how we met" came up--maybe they were introduced by Jo (doh!), and Slade also had to be quiet on the subject of "jobs." (we heard what is his real job from Gretch the Wretch.) oh gag me, this couple is so doomed.

& Alexis squealing over Jim buying her a bikini? oh puh-lease, like she can't buy one anytime she wants, right. sooooooooooooo gagworthy, including their Christian schtick and all. yes, Jim is just horrible.

Simon is so insecure since he quit his job.

These people live in a world not relative to reality.....Don should grow some balls and Viki shouldn't be such a bitch all the time...she has some serious issues....Lynne and her hubby throwing a party the day before the are served an eviction notice was soooooo f-ing funny...not that I take joy in their financial troubles but come on take a little time for reality....why is she getting plastic surgery when they can't make the mortgage payment....what troubles these people have. And doesn't Tamra know you don't tatto someones name on your body...HELLO STUPIS BLONDE GIRL...Slade....what a tool....Jim and Alexis are the most ridiculous people....she is nothing more than a nice hand bag for him...when she gains 10 pounds or turns 40 ( he will trade her in for a couple of 20 yr olds) she is history...he did not marry her for her self respect or intelligence....Most christians I know don't have ginourmous fake tits....come on people...alll of the a foder for the bored people like me on a rainy Saturday when we can take in 10 episodes and laugh....At least Vicki works and has something in her life besides pleasing her man and working out or tanning or shopping or taking a couple of 2 year olds to get manicures....Alexis is such a tool
but I digress

If this show keeps on the way it is going it will need to be called househusbands of Orange County. The husbands are getting way too much air time and say so.

I have a feeling that Vicki will live the show after this season. It has taken a completely different path than it was originally. I admire Vicki for taking the high road and leaving instead of cursing those people out. I really wanted her to just let them have it. I used to like Tamra, but she really has thrown Vicki under the bus. Simon needs to stop trying to blame Vicki for the problems in his marriage. If Tamra is changing that is because of Tamra, not Vicki. Vicki can't force a grown woman to change. Simon needs to grow up and stop being so immature. Alexis really needs to leave the show. She is such a joke believing that she is a full-time mom to three children with TWO nannies. That is ridiculous. Jim really belittles her and she deserves it. Slade has NO job so Gretchen should not have felt the need to lie to Vicki. He's a slacker with no money and is using Gretchen to get money and fame. Gretchen has NO job either. She claims that she didn't get any money from Jeff, but she has enough to support herself, Slade, and form a makeup line?!? She's a bold-faced liar. Lynne and Frank really need to step up the discipline and stop spending unnecessary money.


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