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'Real Housewives of Orange County': Just like a prayer


What would an episode of "The Real Housewives of Orange County" be without a little bickering? We're already aware that Alexis' table manners consist of incessant phone calls with her man-child husband and spitting out food into a napkin, so it was no surprise that she would add "starting mind-numbing squabbles" to the list.

Alexis is still hung up on Vicki's "my husband works" statement and just has to put Vicki in her place. I'm sorry, Alexis, but I don't buy it. It felt more like a newbie trying to prove her position with the popular kids; she was far too eager to look cool. And it might have worked. Tamra appeared impressed by how "strong" and "opinionated" Alexis is. Puh-lease. If that were so, Jim would be on his knees and mixing horseradish in her sauce. She tried to prove she was a tough cookie during lunch. But never mess with the Queen B, Alexis. Never. And don't do it in front of her daughter -- who did seem to be the only adult at the table.

Wait. Wait. Wait. Before I continue further, let's pause for a brief moment to bow our heads and pray that this post doesn't accidentally mention that Alexis' husband doesn't work. Was anyone else slightly perplexed by the prayer circle happening before their eyes?

If you weren't, I know Lynne sure was. All that mention of the red sea parting had her dazed and confused. While everyone else had their heads lowered, she peered up as if she wanted reassurance that this was 1) actually happening and 2)  that she probably shouldn't laugh, especially since the prayer involved Briana and her well-being ... but still. Pretty awkward. Thoughtful, maybe. But awkward nonetheless.

The gals eventually ditch San Francisco and return to O.C. But things only got more awkward -- to watch -- when Alexis and Jim had their pastor and his wife over for -- as Alexis was ordered to explain -- a yogurt and berries breakfast. That wasn't the awkward part. The awkwardness came when Alexis' breast size (cue pastor gulping) somehow became a factor -- seriously, I think it's time Jim and Alexis buy that etiquette book that Countess LuAnn de Lesseps is hawking. But the couple breathed a sigh of relief that all those tight dresses Alexis has in her closet didn't need to be tossed when the pastor reassured them with this sentiment: "I don't think you have to look like a nun; God can use your beauty." Oh, really? 

Over in Palm Springs, Slade and Gretchen meet up with her folks for a little relaxation at ... Merv Griffin's estate? Cause that's normal. In any case, viewers learn that Gretchen's visor-wearing mother, Brenda (loved how she still rocked the bangs over the visor), isn't smitten with Slade. Shocking. While he may have it good with the dad, getting Brenda to warm up to him is going to take a lot more than bonding time during a bike ride. And we learn Slade wants to pop the question to Gretchen. Oh. Boy. It was dodged on this particular night, with all of Gretchen's marriage bashing. I'm not so sure this whole "leasing a person" and turning them in when you want something else is what a husband-to-be wants to hear ... but somehow I thought Slade would be thrilled with the idea.

In other news, Simon is still his uptight self. And Frank is still in the dog house with Lynne and the girls. 

So what did you think of this episode, Show Trackers? Should Alexis have called Vicki out in front of Briana? Did you think Alexis was trying to defend herself to Vicki ... or trying to fit in?

-- Yvonne Villarreal

Comments () | Archives (8)

yvonne, have you ever noticed how these yentas always ask for something and then complain when they get it?

for example, the world's dumbest humanoid - lynne - authorizes God's gift to mankind - Gretchen - to take her equally dumb offspring shopping to see what's up in her empty little head. Then Lynne complains (and complains and complains) when Gretchen reports on the results.

last night vicki, completely misreading the room, invites alexis to "bring it on" and then goes drama queen when alexis and the other girls do just that. i loved it that my favorite housewife - vicki's totally cool daughter - refused to defend her mother and almost, but not quite, told her mom she should apologize.

which brings me to my real point. i love these stupid housewife shows, eincluding the husbands - don the wimp, slade the boy toy, and the neanderthal twins simon and jim.

what i can't stand is lynne. are there really women out there who are so addled that they don't realize that when you are moving every 6 months it's because you are skipping out on your obligations? or that it's kid of crazy to say you want a home with a backyard when you are blowing money on boobs and face taughtening? or that you don't bring your dumb dumb daughter to heart to heart meetings with a man as decent and flawed as frank? she really needs to go. but keep that witch vicki.

I was not impressed by this episode. Too much drama. While Tamra has been my favorite, she has seemed to be a bit two faced. I know I know, the show edits to keep it more entertaining.
Vicki - I appreciate her agressiveness and the work ethic, I really think they were just trying to tell you that you should listen when someone told you that you hurt their feelings. Instead of leaving and being that huge drama queen. It really wasn't that big of a deal. She kinda blew it out of proportion.
Lynne - I like, but c'mon, be aware of your surroundings and when your finances are dwindling and you are evicted, let's not buy an $1800 coat. Geez...

Is it just me? Frank's shown moving out of the house they'd just moved into but couldn't pay for--he affectionately places the framed photo of Lynne and daughters in the trunk of his pricey Mercedes--how's he paying for that? Or is he??? Later he calls the family together for a meeting and states that he thinks they need a family vacation. Okay, so you're in deep financial doo-doo and you want to spend more money you don't have on a family vacation?!? The previous week when the women went to SF, Lynne opened up to the housewives about their financial woes, then bought a leather jacket for over $1800. It seems to me that neither Lynne or Frank have a CLUE how to be responsible and live within their means--and they've taught their daughters the "importance" of material things, even if you don't have money to pay for them. DUH!

In the sea of blondes, Lynn personifies the definition of "Dumb Brunette". She and Frank deserve each other as financially irresponsible parents and will end up in a trash dumpster someplace and their kids in a foster home -- and you won't see me shedding a tear.

RealityChick, that was a shiny pricy BMW he wuz packing up, not a Mercedes.

Lynne is like an ostrich.She has her head in the sand.she only comes up to shop and battle with her ungrateful daughters.I feel sorry for Frank ,he seems like a sweet guy who only wanted the best for his family and got in over his head.Grow up lynne and be your husbands partner and not his third child.And get those girls in line,especially Alexa.She needs to be grounded until she learns to respect her parents.Also she needs a job.Children don't need their parents to be their friends, they have friends.They need their parents to set boundaries for them so they grow up self sufficient and become carind and functioning adults!

Hi Yvonne, I am an East Coast Viewer...

I think Alexis is trying to act like the tough girl. She probably received an earful about Vicki before joining the show, after all, aren't she and Gretchen pals? To that end, I'm sure Alexis rehearsed in the mirror, while spackeling on her makeup, what she would say to Vicki in the event a confrontation should arise. She's trying to run the gang and I don't see that happening with Ms. Vicki on the scene. I don't know what is is about Alexis that bothers me. I think it's her insecurity. Granted, we are all insecure but she's trying way to hard to hang onto to that husband who you KNOW will kick her bony arse to the curb when she is no longer young and fresh. He seems to be that type of guy. Has to have a the trophy wife. Barf! And he's not even good looking nor does he have a great personality. Alexis is bought and paid for. How sad. When Big Dumb Jim dumps her, she'll be a shell of the woman she used to be. Reminds me of the movie: Death Becomes Her

As for Vicki, she should have stood her ground rather than running away from the Bony Arse Barbie named Alexis. I like Vicki, she strong and she's opinionated but if she's going to lodge her opinions, then she needs to stand her ground when others react. Most of Vicki's remarks are spot on. She's running her own company. Her husband has his own career (whatever that might be). They are working on their marriage. She raised two responsible kids. Well, her daughter anyway. I think she did the best out of everyone on the show, present and past seasons. It seems to me Vicki resents the other women, not because she's jealous but because she's fed up and cannot relate. She should be spending time with other career-focused women who are like-minded.

As for Tamra, ahhh well,little Miss Trouble Maker needs to grow up. She's very immature and she's a follower. Woops! I mean a TWO-faced follower.

Lynne and Frank. Oy vey! I have nicknamed them Numb and Dumb. A family vacation?! Is Frank kidding? I hope that if any views were to pass him on the street they smack that man upside the head because he needs it. As for their dreadful daughters. Well I'm thinking they need to be sent to one of those Scared Straight camps I heard about when I was growing up (or have I just dated myself?...)

Who have I forgotten?... Oh yah, Gretchennnnn. I like Gretchen. When I need to take a break from reality, I am going to go and visit Gretchen in Never Never Land. Laaa Deeeee Daaaah. Gretchen needs to wake up and kick Slade to the curb. Can you say, "Deadbeat dad, loser...?"

In closing I love your column! I makes me laugh.

When is Lynn going to open her eyes? Her husband even said she doesn't want to know the truth. This is true in all aspects of her life that we see on the show.

Alexa is so much more mature than Lynn and Frank. She states this fact to their faces and to the viewing public, but Lynn and Frank don't get it.

Alexa gets upset while in the living room with the very young interventionist/therapist and she gets up and walks out and does not respond to her parents calling out to her. She knows they will do nothing and that she does not have to respond. After she does not respond and walks out, Mom and Dad give each other and the camera dopey-eyed looks. Most parents would have never let her get past the first step.

As far as the therapist/interventionist is concerned, Alexa is right…how can Alexa possibly feel that she is being guided maturely when the interventionist is just a few years older than her? Obviously Alexa would feel secure talking with someone that is much older and exudes a more mature outlook.

The Curtins are so afraid of having a fit. If they did have a fit, if they did demand action when they spoke, it would require more effort from them to follow through with the demand. Since they appear to be fairly lazy and self involved they do nothing. Besides, mom and dad want to be "friends" with their daughters, which means they don't want to make the girls mad at them because then maybe they would not be "friends" any more and they would have to go back to that parenting role.

After this last week's episode when Lynn and Alexa went to Frank's hotel room…after Alexa vents to her parents, Frank's cure is to say that they all need a good vacation together. OMG the man doesn't learn on so many levels! Then Lynn pipes in and consoles Alexa thus putting the family right back down the path they just fell off of. After the most recent episode, it is obvious that Frank is weaker than Lynn!

Lynn is self-centered when she thinks that the only reason for the $10,000 deposit is because the landlady is jealous of Lynn's face lift; that the landlady "thinks" they have lots of money. Most likely from the credit check that the landlady did on the Curtins, she found they were a liability (why else are they in the position they are in) and demanded a much higher deposit in that still expensive neighborhood! By the way, when married couples move excessively, as Lynn stated, it is an indication that there is a problem in the marriage!

Lynn's mother is stronger than her. Lynn's kids are stronger than her. Lynnn is only stronger than her husband. Still, she has the nightshades on. GET THEM OFF AND BE A WOMAN AND BE A MOTHER TO THOSE TWO GIRLS!

Gretchen is right in her worry over Alexa. It just unfolded in front of our eyes…we all have our eyes open, why don't the Curtins open theirs before their daughter ventures down the wrong road thinking she will be okay?! She is already screaming for mature intervention…she's just afraid to own it. And that is her job to be afraid! When a girl asks for a beer at an adult party so that she can feel ok...


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