'Real Housewives of Orange County': Just like a prayer
What would an episode of "The Real Housewives of Orange County" be without a little bickering? We're already aware that Alexis' table manners consist of incessant phone calls with her man-child husband and spitting out food into a napkin, so it was no surprise that she would add "starting mind-numbing squabbles" to the list.
Alexis is still hung up on Vicki's "my husband works" statement and just has to put Vicki in her place. I'm sorry, Alexis, but I don't buy it. It felt more like a newbie trying to prove her position with the popular kids; she was far too eager to look cool. And it might have worked. Tamra appeared impressed by how "strong" and "opinionated" Alexis is. Puh-lease. If that were so, Jim would be on his knees and mixing horseradish in her sauce. She tried to prove she was a tough cookie during lunch. But never mess with the Queen B, Alexis. Never. And don't do it in front of her daughter -- who did seem to be the only adult at the table.
Wait. Wait. Wait. Before I continue further, let's pause for a brief moment to bow our heads and pray that this post doesn't accidentally mention that Alexis' husband doesn't work. Was anyone else slightly perplexed by the prayer circle happening before their eyes?
If you weren't, I know Lynne sure was. All that mention of the red sea parting had her dazed and confused. While everyone else had their heads lowered, she peered up as if she wanted reassurance that this was 1) actually happening and 2) that she probably shouldn't laugh, especially since the prayer involved Briana and her well-being ... but still. Pretty awkward. Thoughtful, maybe. But awkward nonetheless.
The gals eventually ditch San Francisco and return to O.C. But things only got more awkward -- to watch -- when Alexis and Jim had their pastor and his wife over for -- as Alexis was ordered to explain -- a yogurt and berries breakfast. That wasn't the awkward part. The awkwardness came when Alexis' breast size (cue pastor gulping) somehow became a factor -- seriously, I think it's time Jim and Alexis buy that etiquette book that Countess LuAnn de Lesseps is hawking. But the couple breathed a sigh of relief that all those tight dresses Alexis has in her closet didn't need to be tossed when the pastor reassured them with this sentiment: "I don't think you have to look like a nun; God can use your beauty." Oh, really?
Over in Palm Springs, Slade and Gretchen meet up with her folks for a little relaxation at ... Merv Griffin's estate? Cause that's normal. In any case, viewers learn that Gretchen's visor-wearing mother, Brenda (loved how she still rocked the bangs over the visor), isn't smitten with Slade. Shocking. While he may have it good with the dad, getting Brenda to warm up to him is going to take a lot more than bonding time during a bike ride. And we learn Slade wants to pop the question to Gretchen. Oh. Boy. It was dodged on this particular night, with all of Gretchen's marriage bashing. I'm not so sure this whole "leasing a person" and turning them in when you want something else is what a husband-to-be wants to hear ... but somehow I thought Slade would be thrilled with the idea.
In other news, Simon is still his uptight self. And Frank is still in the dog house with Lynne and the girls.
So what did you think of this episode, Show Trackers? Should Alexis have called Vicki out in front of Briana? Did you think Alexis was trying to defend herself to Vicki ... or trying to fit in?
-- Yvonne Villarreal