‘Real Housewives of Orange County’: Out with the old, in with the new

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We’re three episodes into the season and I’m starting to wonder if things will ever heat up. The whole Gretchen-Tamra feud can only sustain me for so long. I’m thisclose to suggesting one of them — Vicki, perhaps? — team up with Atlanta housewife Kim Zolciak for a follow-up to “Tardy for the Party.” When all else fails, hideously catchy tunes are the way to go.

And all the airtime Gretchen and Slade are snagging is enough to make me take the show off my DVR recording list. The two are the poor man’s version of Heidi and Spencer. I don’t care what Slade thinks of the housewives. Or whether he is capable of producing sperm. And Gretchen, I too find it “kind of scary” to think you’re seriously considering having kids and being married to Slade.

But, thanks to new housewife Alexis, there was some freshness to the episode (get to know the newest addition to the OC clan by reading this Q&A). She’s young. She’s blond. She’s busty. And she confuses ‘neurotic’ for ‘persnickety.’ We learn she’s already friendly with Tamra and Gretchen, but at a lingerie soiree, she finally meets the other housewives. The gals are trying on lingerie, except for Jeana — more on that later — and except for Alexis, who feels that parading out in slinky pieces in front of onlookers is inappropriate — yet, as Tamra pointed out, she has no trouble being flashy in a barely-there bikini at a BBQ gathering. Whatever the case, I was slightly underwhelmed. Where was the showdown between her and Vicki that Bravo had been hyping? Also, how awkward was the exchange between Alexis and Lynne? I was just waiting for Lynne to bring out some of her cuff pieces to ease the silence.

Guess the producers thought the riff between Vicki and Jeana was more than enough for this episode. Our favorite Playboy Playmate and our favorite Wahoo! gal have slowly drifted apart. While they remain cordial, the tension could be cut with a knife. How sad was it to hear Vicki say, “Jeana’s always going to be my neighbor unless one of us moves, but she’s not always going to be my friend”? Ouch.

So like Jeana said: “It started in Coto de Caza, it ended in Coto de Caza.” She’s decided to leave the show to focus on her real estate business and her family.

So, Show Trackers, will Alexis be able to fill Jeana’s void? Anyone else growing tired of Slade’s screen time?

— Yvonne Villarreal