'Melrose Place': No sense or sensibility

Before we get into the insanely stupid antics of this week's "Melrose Place" characters -- and there were many -- I just had to call attention to the graveyard flashback near the beginning of this episode. I'm sure actor Shaun Sipos is a heck of a guy who calls home every Sunday and volunteers at local charities when he's not shooting, but I could not keep my giggles under wraps when David sobbed unconvincingly over his mother's grave in the flashback.

But this isn't just about David's softer side -- it's also where he meets Sydney for the first time. She claims to be there visiting her father and just thought she'd stop by the neighboring tombstone and see how he's doing. And what is the most logical thing to do after meeting a hot cougar in Hollywood Forever? Why, have sex with her, of course. So that's why the Cinespia screenings are so popular!

It looks like we're back on the murder storyline this week and the magical powers of flashbacks also teach us that David woke up the day after Sydney's stabbing with the (probably planted) bloody knife in his hand. He tells Ella that he blacked out from drinking too much that night. He's not sure if he did it, and I'm voting not guilty. Which means the murderer must have known how David gets when he drinks, so that could really be anyone. My bets are on Michael or Auggie right now. But Ella suspects it was the P.I. she hired because Sydney might have caught him in the penthouse.

Ella could be on a roll because she's also onto Lauren's second job as a lady of the evening. And she even offers to make Lauren's financial troubles go away if Lauren, well, doctors her client's medical chart so that Perez and TMZ never find out about his drug habit. But like she did with David, Lauren opts to stick with her committing her own debauchery, then aid and abet others.

Now that Ella knows Lauren's secret, why doesn't Ella find a way to get Lauren out of this jam? I appreciate Ella being there for Lauren even though Lauren's not ready to come clean about her side job -- it's not like she's earning extra cash by working the late shift at Rite Aid and Ella's worried she's gonna get burned out from exhaustion. Her "bestie/roommate" is a prostitute! I thought Ella would be smart enough to stop it with the Julia Roberts jokes and get this girl some help.

Over at Coal, Auggie gives us what we've come to expect -- rage and senseless sex. And almost all because of Riley? Sure, Auggie's boss Marcello had it coming when he, as Violet puts it, commits "cooking plagiarism" by stealing Auggie's recipe and later saying somewhat racist statements about Riley. But how angry and out of it does Auggie have to be to have slept with the crazytown hornets nest that is Violet?

It seems the only people who did anything smart this week are Jonah and Riley, who seem to have decided they're on a break. Is it too much to hope that this will last?

Oh, and has anyone heard from Jane?

-- Whitney Friedlander

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Top photo: When Sydney met David. Credit: Michael Desmond / The CW

Bottom photo: Auggie and Violet spice things up at work. Credit: Patrick Wymore / The CW

Comments

[R.]

I love this show so far and I thought what Ella did this week was great and showed more layers to who she is and I liked the way the story progressed. Katie Cassidy and Stephanie Jacobsen, clearly the best actresses on this show. Michael Rady is also a standout, loved him on Greek, Swingtown, he's my platonic husband and Jessica Lucas is also good. I've studied acting almost my entire life, and I forgave Shaun Sipos because he's clearly a better overall actor than Ashlee Simpson, I laughed out loud when she reacted to Auggie getting hit, haha that was so funny her overexaggerated face and her overexaggerated hand movements. I can't wait til Ashlee Simpson leaves the show and Heather Locklear regains her throne!

[R.]

Whoops I meant when Auggie was hitting the chef.

[Sid]

Yea well i for defintely thought that last night epsiode was the best so far. suprisingly it only had 1.5 million viewers =(. i really hope that heather boosts the ratings cuz i dont want this show to follow tbl or any other shows. i really do beleive that the show has potential as soon as freiken ashlee is out. i mean come on...last night when auggie and the cheft were at it...her reaction made me laugh so hard!!!!!! other that that ella,david, lauren, riley, jonah are the best!!!

[RedScion]

This weeks Melrose was definately the best so far. Finally the show is getting crazy just like the first one was. I had read about them making this some light hearted show and I almost gagged. And yes, what has happened to Jane!!!