'Curb Your Enthusiasm': Can't take my eyes off of you

This week's episode of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" had Larry once again encountering some ethical land mines in pursuit of (his own) happiness, but Larry isn't always on the side of the angels, even when he attempts to do the Right Thing. 

Let's take a look at the little things that got under Larry's skin this week and whether it was Larry or the rest of humanity who was truly at fault.

The Airplane Shorts. Larry took offense to the clothing choice of his seatmate on a recent flight, berating the man for wearing shorts and forcing Larry to stare at his hairy legs during a five-hour flight. Sure, airplanes are claustrophobic spaces; we're forced to spend time surrounded by strangers and those people can get on our nerves in unexpected ways. But I think it was totally wrong for Larry to say something to Mr. Shorts, who defended his sartorial choice by saying that they're comfortable. It's not like the man was deliberately provoking Larry or causing him physical discomfort through his actions. No-brainer on this one. Larry: 0. Humanity: 1.

Dialing Dr. Morrison. After burning his hand on an airplane hot towel (those things are killer), Larry forced his doctor (guest star Philip Baker Hall) to give him his home number, saying that it would make him feel better. Reluctantly, Dr. Morrison agreed, with the stipulation that Larry not ever call him at home. One cellphone misdial later, Dr. Morrison screamed at Larry for disturbing him at home after he clearly told him never to call there. Which is understandable but, hello, Larry called him by mistake. There was no reason for Dr. Morrison to freak out the way that he did and Larry was clearly in the right here. Larry: 1. Humanity 1. (That said, Larry showing up at Dr. Morrison's house later on was decidedly not OK, so our total sinks back down to Larry: 0, Humanity 1.)

A Gift From the Heart. Poor Sammy. Jeff and Susie's daughter got an earful when her caterwauling -- a rendition of "Can't Take My Eyes Off of You" that happened to be Jeff and Susie's anniversary present to Ted Danson and Mary Steenbergen -- sent Larry up the wall in a state of auditory agony. Was Larry in the right when he cut off Sammy, no matter how poor her singing skills? Hell no. Especially given that she's a kid and the entire incident mortified her, a situation compounded when he started swearing at her to shut up later in the episode. A major shocker. Larry: 0. Humanity: 2

The Anniversary Present. Once you give someone a present, it's out of your hands, even if the giver in question is the curmudgeonly Larry David. His generous anniversary gift to Ted and Mary -- a $300 gift certificate to an Italian restaurant where they sing operatic arias during dinner -- was just that: generous. But there are no strings attached with gifts. One can't expect the recipient to take you to dinner and Ted and Mary were totally justified to take Jeff and Susie out for dinner on Larry's dime. His meltdown at the restaurant was totally uncalled for and just plain rude. Larry: 0. Humanity: 3.

Christian vs. the Caviar. If there's one thing Larry excels at, it's keeping track of when other people break moral or ethical rules of conduct. I'm siding with Larry on the issue of the overindulgence of caviar and, while I may not have confronted Christian Slater directly, Larry is correct: It's rude to stand over the most expensive item on the buffet and gorge at the expense of your hosts. As for telling Mary, she confronted Larry and asked him if he was the one scarfing the caviar like it was going out of style, so why shouldn't he point the finger of blame to the true culprit? Score one for Larry. Larry: 1. Humanity: 3.

The Angry Boyfriend. This week, Larry reconnected with an old flame, Mary Jane Porter (Sherry Stringfield), and reentered the dating scene after his breakup with Loretta. While he had some trouble picking up his old tricks (it's not easy to unhook a bra with a burned hand), he didn't quite expect that Mary Jane had a boyfriend and a jealous one at that. Here, Larry is completely in the clear; Mary Jane should have told him that she was in a relationship, even if he didn't ask her directly. What followed was an attempt on Larry's part to escape bodily injury at the hands of MJ's beau, an effort that led him to Dr. Morrison's house, Ted and Mary's, and finally Jeff and Susie's. And then back at the Italian restaurant, he's sold down the river by a vengeful Christian Slater. Ouch. Larry 2. Humanity: 3.

What did you think of this week's episode? Was Larry in the wrong or in the right for the most part? And would you have freaked out at Ted and Mary? Speak out in the comments section below!

-- Jace Lacob (follow my musings on television, food, and more television on Twitter at @televisionary)

Related:
Larry David talks about putting 'Seinfeld' back together for 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'
Larry David on the 'Seinfeld' reunion and shaking hands
Complete 'Curb' coverage on Showtracker

Photo: Larry David gives Christian Slater a verbal bitchslap for helping himself to too much caviar. Credit: Doug Hyun / HBO.

Comments

[Kenny]

The funniest scene was Larry waking up at Jeff and Susie's to that same infernal rendition of "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You,"..."Aw, what the hell? Shut the f--- up! SHUT THE F---UP!" How many times I've wanted to say that to my OWN kids during those early morning Hannah Montana megamixes!
My wife and I were in hysterics! Great episode!

[Ingram]

While I agree with your scoring, I think you missed a couple of points that would swing the episode in Larry's favor. First, Larry should not have cut off her singing at the party, but he was right in that it was NOT a gift. Had he suffered through it then subversively attached the "gift" as a non-gift, he would have clearly won. I think this fact makes this one a push, or at a minimum, a bonus point for Larry. Second, I may agree with you that the airplane passenger did not deserve to be called out, but upon a review of the episode, notice that the mans legs (disgusting) are crossed. Had he kept his feet on the floor and not impinged on Larry's space, he might have been spared. Accordingly, give Larry the edge in this episode. Although, since when has Larry been perfectly in line with societal norms? The fact that I agree with him so often convinces me that most people probably do not, so I am not surprised that humanity would score more than a couple of points.

[Katharine Saavedra]

I have an issue with your scoring. You treat all offenses as though they are of equal weight and severity. I disagree.

Complaining about the shorts was crossing a line but doesn't compare with what he did to Sammy. He ought to have more compassion for that child as he is all too familiar with her mother, one of the most horrible people in world. Suzie Essman is brilliant! Larry loses 1 for the shorts guy and 15 for Sammy.

As for the Caviar issue, I thought Mary was completely out of line to have said anything about it to a guest. That is the kind of thing you complain about to your husband later. Also there is her assumption that, because of his proximity to it, Larry was to blame. That is beyond rude! For once Larry was both blameless and right. Humanity loses 5 for Slater and 5 for mary.

Failing to tell him about a very jealous and potentially violent boyfriend? No excuse. Add to it the fact that Mary Jane panicked and told her boyfriend who she had been with? Minus 10 for humanity.

Larry's restaurant scene was a loss of 10. A gift with strings is not a gift.

Finally, keep your opinions about someone else's gift, or lack there of, to yourself. Minus 10 for Larry.

That makes it Larry -36, Humanity -20. Larry still loses but I win because I get a great show to watch.