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'Dancing With the Stars' results: The mane event

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Darn if they don’t always keep me going till the last moment. But Tom's incessant teasing that the super-close point results (11 teams separated by just three points!) could send anybody home really had me convinced that Week 2’s elimination was going to be a shocker.

Of course, in the end, it was low-scoring and low-wattage Kathy Ireland who got cut. And just as with last week’s ouster of Macy Gray and Ashley Hamilton, I don’t think anyone could have said they were surprised to see the model-entrepreneur make her graceful exit.

But first, the filler: Guest judge Baz Luhrmann announced this week’s encore performance, the jumping jive from Mya and Dmitry. The Macy’s Stars of Dance bit featured an unwieldy USC Trojan Marching Band and a lively break dancing and stomp performance created by “Stomp the Yard’ choreographer Chuck Maldonado and Jimmy R.O. Smith.

Selena Gomez continued the “DWTS” Disney streak (after Monday’s Muppet cameo and the Minnie Mouse duds worn by Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Ballas) by performing her latest single, “Falling Down,” with her band the Scene. She looked just about as excited as if she were getting a root canal. Other than one move where she leaned back on one of her bandmates (a Scenester?), the “Wizards of Waverly Place” star showed little to no energy and was upstaged by the crisp, clean turns and swivels of Derek Hough and she of the sparkly body suit, Karina Smirnoff.

Grammy Award winner Joss Stone sang two numbers. The first was “Colour Me Free,” her latest single from her fourth album. And Joss looked great, kind of a cross between Mariah Carey and Jacinda Barrett, though I wondered why she had her eyes closed through the entire performance. Maybe it was because she didn’t want to be distracted by the pro dancers? I know I have a hard time rooting for pro dancers whom I’m not familiar with, either. Yes, I’m talking about you, Jeremy Hudson and Mallauri Esquibel. And what happened to Jeremy’s ultra-long tie? It was flopping along during the first half but disappeared after the intermission.

Later, Joss Stone came out and sang another tune, this time a cover of Dusty Springfield’s “Son of a Preacher Man,” and was accompanied by regulars Dmitry Chaplin, Anna Trebunskaya, Cheryl Burke and Louis Van Amstel. The pros did some partner work and then switched partners and did some samba rolls, and then … whoa! A four-way samba-roll sandwich! I didn’t know whether to be enthralled or uncomfortable after that. Maybe just numb acceptance, kind of like how Oscar-nominated actor and Chuck Liddell pal Mickey Rourke appeared when the cameras panned to him after the performance.

Usually “DWTS” has some clever pre-taped clips, but this week’s were a little weak sauce. There was a showcase of the new 12,000-square-foot training center, and then the pros spoke out about breaking the stars out of their bad habits. At least Anna Demidova got a good zinger out of this one. After former Dallas Cowboy Michael Irvin complained the steps were hard, Anna quickly responded, “If dancing was easy, they’d call it football.” Ha!

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Let's now take a moment from our regularly scheduled programming to dissect what was going on with Samantha Harris. With the black mermaid dress with what looked like grid-pattern piping, the ginormous jeweled necklace that she wore like armor, the lion’s mane of hair that threatened to push anyone else out of the camera space, I had a hard time not wondering what in name of all that is sparkly and good happened. Did the stylist love her or hate her? Was it a dark “Lion King” homage? Did she put her finger into an electrical socket right before taping? It was really distracting. I couldn't even pay attention to what she was saying (hate it when that happens). And Samantha’s was just a variation on the big-hair theme: I've already mentioned Joanna’s mile-long tresses, but Kym’s big pouf was also out to there. “Don’t Kym and Samantha kind of look little like sexy Chia pets tonight?” Tom observed.

If only results shows could be about Chia pets and big hair instead of elimination. But alas, someone had to leave the competition. And this week, Kathy Ireland’s jig was up. And she took it graciously, like we knew she would, taking her jellyfish skirt and torn sleeves for one last turn on the dance floor with her partner, Tony “Dovoloni.” Well, if you can’t even pronounce your partner’s name right, then maybe you just weren’t destined to last. Poor Tony was left only with a mangled last name and a hat featuring the name “Katony” as a consolation prize. Here’s hoping he’ll be paired up with a more memorable partner — or at least a cuter hybrid name — next season.

What did you think? Were you surprised to see Debi Mazar in the bottom two? Are you less impressed with pro dancers you’re not familiar with? Samantha’s outfit: Love it or loathe it?

— Allyssa Lee

Photos: Adam Larkey / ABC

 
Comments () | Archives (14)

Samantha used to always look good in past seasons. This season she just does not look good. It is either the hair or the outfit. What was that thing on her neck last night? The week before her hair looked like a style from the 40's. Are you kidding? Samantha -- wake up and go back to looking good again.

I am totally mad if I don't know the pros dancing on the elimination nights. I just want to fast forward, and I usually do! I want to see the pros that I know.

I thought Samantha looked as hot as Tori Spelling in her prime. LOVED the necklace and hair. If Burgeron isn't manhandling her on the side, he's probably dating Bruno. I can only imagine the titillating stories that happen behind the scenes.

You missed something.

Just before the final elimination, Samantha asked Carrie Ann about her feelings. When she was done, Samantha asked Bruno. Tom talked right over her and went on with the process. All she did was try and hypnotize the camera operator, as usual.

Someone PLEASE address Samantha Harris' flopping left arm. One evening she just make take off "with one arm flapping". Looks like a chicken.

I really don't know why they keep Samantha Harris...she is not funny, interesting or good. Is she suppose to be some sort of trophy? DWTS would be better without her...she is a distraction.

LOVED Samantha's look! The gown defined her figure exquisitly. And what a figure she has!

I thought Samantha looked great in the black dress. Best I have ever seen her. But she asks terrible, stupid questions and the show doesn't need her. Bergeron could run the whole show by himself.

does anyone know who was not wearing underwear and did a dance routine down on the floor, or fell or something?

my husband heard something about it on the radio, but didn't kn ow who it involved.

did aaron carter and karina kiss after they were declared safe? it kinda looked like they might have kissed after the spotlight went off them - IF they did, that seems "kinda" mean to maks 'cause his and karina's engagement ended, what, weeks ago?? and i heard karina has a new boyfriend now maybe, too, so she and aaron probably didn't kiss - i wonder who will rumba and who will samba on monday? will aaron samba? will mya rumba? i guess we'll find out then, hehe ;)

I love the big hair look. I especially like the Pouf that many dancers have worn on the show. I found a product called Vidal Sassoon Hair Poufs that help you create the pouf look. They work awesome! I think it is very sexy.

Samantha is ALWAYS awful. She always asked stupid questions because she can't think on her feet. She's had years of practice now, and she just cannot do it. Can't somebody FEED her the questions.

Or can't they get that Lisa lady with the fake breasts and fake lips who was on a few season's ago and who's married to Harry Hamlin. (I only know his name because I LOVED Clash of the Titans when I was a kid.)

She's funny and entertaining even though I can't remember her last name. Every time I see Samantha I start missing Lisa whatshername. Please get her or anybody really. Samantha needs to go. How did she ever get on television? I don't understand. But I AM annoyed.

I can't wait until Tom Delay is eliminated. I normally watch every show of DWTS. However, I cannot and will not watch the show with that nasty hypocrite
dancing on a show that he previously turned his nose up at! Good luck to everyone else. I will be waiting for Tom Delay's departure.


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