‘Weeds’: Wedding bells

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Whew. The bullet that hit Shane last week passed straight through. In the front, out the back. All muscle. No bone. Luckily, Nurse Cesar was there to help care for the wound. Though Cesar prefers the term ‘medic.’ Calling him a nurse might get him teased by all the other Mexican drug lord henchmen.

Everyone stopped by casa de Esteban to pay respect to the recovering Botwin child. Each in their own way. When Shane finally speaks, his response is surprisingly realistic. “It had to happen sooner or later.” Shane understands the world they live in. Even if no one else wants to admit it.

Nancy doesn’t react well to one of her children getting shot. Once she gets Shane to finally eat that sandwich, she confronts Cesar. It’s obvious that Pilar set up the attempted hit (though there are plenty of other people who want to kill Nancy after five seasons). Nancy figures out that the only person who can be feeding Pilar information is Cesar. He changed his mind at the last minute to protect Esteban’s happiness, but not soon enough to prevent the attack, so Nancy repays him with his own bullet wound.

Shane comes away from the experience with an attitude adjustment and the beginnings of a drinking problem. Shane has gone through a lot this season. He dealt drugs, got ripped off and went for revenge. He got a taste of normal while living in Esteban’s home, only to later witness a golf-related beating. He even had his first run-in with an STD. It’s not hard to see why he might want to float around in the pool, drinking beer and yelling slurs at those on shore. Go for it Shane. It made Esteban laugh.

Outside the world of the Botwin family, Celia continues to build her drug/cosmetics empire. She lets Dean move her into a new apartment/panic room then promptly locks him out. And Dean isn’t the only one finding out Celia has returned to her evil ways. Doug discovers her secret to selling overpriced eye shadow is packaging it with stolen pot. One thing must be taken care of before they can band together and destroy Celia, but that’s quickly cleared up with a cup of hot coffee and Dean’s unmentionables. I’m not too sure how scared Celia will be of two men with injured genitals, but I hope they give her a run for her money.

Nancy tries to protect her offspring. She offers to ship Silas overseas with a bank account full of cash and a Europass, but he declines. Looks like Silas is taking the security of his brothers into his own hands. That’s a big task for an 18-year-old, but Silas has also gone though a lot this season. He might be up to the task.

Nancy’s not going to make it easy for him. After Pilar tells Esteban his candidacy for governor is over, Nancy convinces him he should run anyway. She goes through with the wedding, even though Pilar forbid it. And for her first act as a married woman Nancy goes to visit Guillermo in prison with one little request: Kill Pilar. For someone who promised to never let her sons be hurt again, Nancy seems to be doing everything in her power to get the whole family killed.

We’re heading into the last three episodes of Season 5. ‘Weeds’ always seems to go out on a shocker. In Season 1 Nancy discovered she was sleeping with a DEA agent, Season 2 found her in a kitchen with two angry gangs and an empty safe, Season 3 burnt down the entire town of Agrestic, and in Season 4 Nancy saved herself from death by being fertile. How do you think Season 5 is going to end? What shocker awaits us? Make your guess in the comments below. Let’s see who can get the closest.

-- Andrew Hanson