Recap: 'True Blood' Season 2, Episode 4
We begin with Jason walking into his dorm room at leadership camp only to see the bodies of his fellow campers lying dead and bloody on the floor. He is attacked by a shadowy figure that pushes him down. Surprise! When the lights come on it's just the Lukinator playing a practical joke. The campers laugh but Jason punches the Luke Man in the nose, pulls off his clip-on tie and shouts that "Vampires are not a joke!"
Screaming of a different kind is taking place at Bill's place as Bill pushes an embarrassed and half-naked Hoyt out the door, saying that he is only protecting him from Jessica. Hoyt tells Jessica that he doesn't believe Bill for a second. Good boy, Hoyt! Jessica really likes you. After the confrontation Bill decides to take Jessica to Dallas with him and Sookie. They will employ "two travel coffins, not one." Oh, and those travel coffins are totally rad, space-age looking tubes. (I wouldn't mind traveling that way, especially if Bill were in my coffin.)
Cut to Daphne swimming in her undies with Sam who rambles on about what a paradise Bon Temps is. Um, Sam, have you been living in the same bloody Bon Temps that the rest of us have been watching? Anyway, when Daphne gets out of the water, she isn't at all shy about Sam seeing the giant scratches across her back. He just gulps. Yay paradise!
Later Tara tells Mary Ann of her plans to move in with Sookie immediately. Mary Ann is clearly shaken but acts cool, although she does give herself away a bit when her eyes get that I-am-a-mutant-pig-monster look and she says, "I'm sure you'd do the same for me," to Tara when Tara thanks her for her hospitality.
Back at the world's creepiest leadership camp, Jason and the Lukester are arguing over whether Lazarus was a vampire. Jason says that he thinks Jesus was one because "he told people, 'Hey y'all, drink my blood.' "
"God will make sure evil gets punished," says Luke as Jason is summoned to meet with Steve Newlin. To which Jason replies, "Yeah? Then explain Europe to me." Oh Jason, your stupidity borders on brilliance! I know a lot of you out there are sick of this story line but I could watch Jason Stackhouse do anything and be happy. I could even watch him watch paint dry, that's how much I love him.
Meanwhile, Andy and Bud are at the coroner's office looking at the body of the dead exorcist, which, shocker, has the same scratches that Daphne has and that Sookie had before Bill saved her. Poor, dumb-as-stones Andy keeps talking about the pig that he thinks might have something to do with it all. Bud thinks he's crazy and drunk and takes his badge. But could that pig be Mary Ann? Tara was run off the road by a pig just before Mary Ann took her in....
Back in creepsville, Steve Newlin and Jason shoot pop-up vampires with paint ball guns, and Newlin is awed to discover that Jason has seen a vampire die and admits that he can't wait to see "God's awesome power just obliterate evil right in front of your eyes."
Maybe someone should obliterate Mary Ann, who is busy putting a master plan in effect at Sookie's house in the form of what turns into an incredibly bizarre birthday party for Tara. She invites a bunch of weirdo town folk, throws away the present that Tara's pathetic old mom gives to Sam to bring to the party and sashays her way into the woods where she pulses like an industrial blender until the party is whipped into an obscene froth worthy of Nero. Everyone's eyes turn black, they smear cake and dirt all over themselves, they fight and copulate in public.
Speaking of copulation, Tara and Eggs do just that in a passionate, sweaty trance. Something tells me the result of this power coupling could be worse than Rosemary's baby. Also happening at the party: Sam and Daphne hook up and Daphne admits that she knows Sam's shape-shifting secret. Could she be Mary Ann's handmaiden?
Later, when Sookie arrives in Dallas (drunk on nips that she describes as "booze for dolls"), a driver named Leon is there to pick her up. Turns out he's been hired by the Fellowship of the Sun to abduct her and take her to church headquarters. Silly church! Sookie can read minds and Bill is fast and full of fangs. Leon fails and Bill teaches Jessica to glamor him while he and Sookie check into the hotel.
Around the same time, Jason announces to the camp that he's moving into the Newlins' house to train to become an elite Soldier of the Sun. This seems to be the Bon Temps equivalent of becoming a Hitler Youth. Luke accuses Jason of sleeping with Sarah Newlin and Jason bristles. But the sexual tension between he and Sarah soars skyward as he fantasizes about her licking bottles and spanking herself with a spatula while grilling ribs for dinner.
Perhaps the only redeeming thing that happens in this episode is when Eric appears in Lafayette's window and offers him his 1,000-year-old blood. Lafayette is terribly sick and crippled and his leg is beginning to fester, so when he takes blood from Eric his comeback is remarkable. He dances around, pretends to hump his furniture and shouts with joy. Eric leaves Lafayette when Bill calls and tells him that the church tried to abduct Sookie. In the hotel bar they discuss the importance of the missing vampire Godric.
"If one such as he can be taken by humans, none of us is safe," warns Eric, adding that the vampires would begin to rebel.
"Open aggression against humans?" gasps Bill. "That's insane!"
"That's Texas," replies Eric.
Meanwhile, Jessica has ordered room service in the form of an Abercrombie & Fitch-like model who she can snack on. Sookie is at a loss when she realizes that the bellboy who delivered the model to Jessica is actually reading her mind. They even engage in a brief telepathic conversation, until the bellboy (his name is Barry) freaks out and runs away. Sookie chases him in her bathrobe.
Roll credits.
-- Jessica Gelt
Photo: HBO
Silly Jessica, you know it was Maryanne walking naked on the road WITH the pig that caused Tara to crash her car (me thinks the pig is her man-servant whatever his name is). I believe she can "force-morph" him to pig form whenever she's displeased with him; just like she did to Sam when he inconveniently turned into a dog at Merlotte's. BTW, it's great to see Michelle Forbes doing good TV again (and not in a Star Trek uniform).
You also failed to mention during Maryanne's jiggy blender dance that her hands shapeshifted into the very similar hands of that kooky horned beast that clawed at Sookie's back, killed the fake medium, and apparently got into Daphne's back too. If Maryanne can't get to Sam directly, Daphne is the handmaiden that's gonna cause Sam a world o' hurt.
I think Eric and Godric were/are lovers; Eric is obviously keeping something from Bill about his relationship with Godric and what better than being a repressed gay vampire..... or is he a self-loathing vampire (like Bill) who happens to be gay?
Hats off to Alan Ball, after the years of seriousness doing SFU (still my favorite HBO show ever) he's having fun with TB. Showing a world filled not just with vampires but one with many different non-human creatures walking amongst us is a hoot and I'm enjoying the ride!
Posted by: Inthemix | July 13, 2009 at 11:41 AM
Jessica! How could you forget to mention the beautiful play of light and shadow on the ebony perfection of Eggs back and buttocks as he made deeply thrusting, tantric trance love to Tara?? Even my husband, a 60 yo white man was impressed by that performance!
Posted by: Drama Minx | July 13, 2009 at 01:21 PM
I can see how this ep felt a little underwhelming after the gang-busters bonanza of the last two. But this was a great set-up episode for what's to come.
I love how Jason Stackhouse is quietly ruling this season, while Eric is my new favorite character--although Lafayette killed it last night after getting some of that good thousand-year-old Eric blood. I spit a mouthful of Riesling out of my nose during that scene!
And I'm with Drama Minx--that was some seriously hardcore black love going on with Tara and Eggs--damn!! That scene reminded me of just how rare it is to see black sex scenes on TV, even on premium cable.
Between Jason and Eggs, "True Blood" has two of the hottest male bodies on TV right now--and I'm a straight male! Which is why I'm counting the episodes until they finally cave and give us a full monty shot of Daphne. She's waaaaay too hot not to give us a peek.
One last thing: anyone with TiVo needs to freeze-frame the shot of Sookie checking out the vampire porn the Dallas hotel has to offer (and btw--how freaking awesome was that 'vamp-friendly' hotel?!?!?)--the movie titles are classic. Personal fave: "His First Fang-Bang."
Don't give up the faith yet, Jessy Jess! "True Blood" is still bringing the heat!!
PS: @inthemix: you just blew my mind with the Eric-is-gay theory--it makes so much sense!
Posted by: Eric's Secret | July 13, 2009 at 03:55 PM
See, now I thought this was a really good ep.
It had some downers with the continued sophomoric exchanges between Jason Stackhouse and the Lukinator (as you appropriately call him). I mean these guys are well into their 20's now and those scenes are so barely even high school behavior. That really doesn't happen, although I suppose I have to give them some leverage with their ridiculously low intelligence. Was that stuff in the books?
Speaking of childish, I really dug the scenes with Jessica and how appropriate that was for someone her age to pull that kind of prank. I like her char more and more and I hope they don't send her careening into a path of total evil. I like how she has violent urges, but human ones too.
The more I watch this show, the more I realize it's strongly about beautiful people having sex with each other. I'm cool with that. The scenes with Jason fantasizing about Sarah drive me more than a little crazy. I have to agree with the above posters that there was an almost artful beauty in the Tara/Eggs love scene and I too, found myself wondering if I'd ever even seen 2 African Americans making love on television - or the movies - or anywhere before.
With all the lovemaking plus the 3 Mary Ann Monster Orgyfests we've seen so far, I think my eyes might turn completely black by the end of this season!
Posted by: jonas | July 15, 2009 at 12:16 AM
Its obvious Marry ann is some Maenid hybrid like the ones in greek mythology the description fits plus she's always chanting that greek latin talk plus she's always feeding off the energy of people's sexual and intoxicated behavior when she vibrates but tara and eggs sex scene was the best sex scene of the season... speechless : D
Posted by: Reece A | July 19, 2009 at 02:42 PM