The Monitor: Jon & Kate & their crooked houses

But what will the kids say? No -- really, what will they say? As the relationship of Jon and Kate Gosselin has devolved into a frost worthy of an Edward Hopper painting, the lone bright spot of "Jon & Kate Plus 8" has been the children: 8-year-old twins Cara and Mady and the 5-year-old sextuplets, Aaden, Alexis, Collin, Hannah, Joel and Leah. The teaser bumps just before commercials invariably feature one or several of the kids saying, "Coming up next on 'Jon & Kate Plus 8!' " Especially during episodes when the Gosselins were rubbing each other raw, these three-second bits were moments of hope. Someone, at least, believed in the family's future.

So what's it going to be then? "Jon Plus 8" when he's with the kids and "Kate Plus 8" when he's not? Maybe "Jon Plus Two and Kate Plus Six"? "Once Were Gosselins"? Now that the Gosselins have formally initiated divorce proceedings, never again will the show's title trigger a sense of optimism and possibility, only a burden that was probably impossible all along. (Unless you're the Duggars, stars of another TLC megafamily docu-series, "18 Kids and Counting," in which case having children is merely an excuse for exponentially growing joy.)

Jon and Kate have regarded each other contemptuously for some time now, dating back long before they became tabloid chum. They sniped at each other, rolled their eyes, spoke ill of one another. In other words, they made for a refreshingly frank couple, too busy with their children to think too deeply about how to spiff up their love for America.

In Monday's most moving segment, the enormity of the future bore down on Kate hard. "I had half a day where I let myself fall apart and hyperventilate and sob harder than I've ever sobbed in my life," she said. "I don't really want to be alone. I don't want to do this alone."

"I was too passive," Jon insisted in explaining his need for a split. "I just let her rule the roost and do whatever she wanted to do and went along with everything and now I finally stood up on my own two feet and I'm proud of myself."

Not that "Jon & Kate Plus 8" was ever really a show about parents or parenting. And the custody-sharing arrangement that seems to have been hammered out through back channels demonstrates how true that dynamic is to life. On Monday night's episode, Jon and Kate explained that the children will remain full time in the home the Gosselins recently purchased in Pennsylvania, where Jon and Kate will alternate hands-on caretaking. (This seems to be an ingenious solution, only viable for a family that can afford, in essence, three homes, but ingenious just the same.)

After all, this is the house the children feel comfortable in, the one they can stretch out in,  the one that shields them from paparazzi. "The security, the room, the land," Jon said on Monday. "All for them."

As with so many recent episodes of "Jon & Kate," Monday's revolved around a product placement, and this time it was apt. Kids Crooked House builds structurally sound children's playhouses that appear whimsically distorted on the outside. That may be the converse of the Gosselin home, but to see Jon and Kate announce their split during an episode otherwise dedicated to the difficult labor of building safe homes for their kids was rich in irony.

Perhaps these Crooked Houses -- the kids received four -- will become refuges for the children from events in the main home, which despite the game faces Jon and Kate put on for their children has been plenty crooked for a while. "I'm tired of smiling on the outside when I'm crying on the inside," Kate said. "I've been doing that for a long time." And you're never too old -- or too young -- to learn that the things that appear weakest on the outside may well turn out to be the most solid. That understanding and more, coming up next on "Jon, Kate, 8."

-- Jon Caramanica

Comments

[Sherry]

Jon and Kate think they have it all figured out. They can delude themselves into thinking the kids will come out of this stronger, better, well adjusted,etc. The sad truth is that no matter the age of a child of divorce, his/her most fervent heartfelt wish is that his/her parents were together (married) and the family was whole. Parents like to belive that they always know what is best and how to fix things. But tell me, how does one reach inside and hold your child's heart that is broken? Remember Kate, kids can appear happy on the outside but are crying desparately on the inside. For you Jon, I'll think you'll grow to discover that this "new chapter" in your life won't be as "exciting" (your words) as you anticipated.

[Henry]

I say they should rename the show "Jon OR Kate plus 8" since they will be taking turns sharing the house with the kids.

[jim]

I find the personal disgust people are sharing absurd. You, watching in the first place, are part of the problem. This has never been a good idea, watching personal lives unfold on camera. Yes, they got a million dollar home and more. That's what happens when the devil shows up on your doorstop, he offers great stuff. Then your life blows up. (not literally of course, I'm using the devil metaphorically, but since some of the tools writing in probably would mean that literally, I'm qualifying the statement.) With 8 kids, this seemed like the easiest solution, so they said yes. So would you. If they had been lucky, the show would have been a minor hit then a flop, but sadly, it was popular because people are sad and stupid. Now they're relationship is unfixable and you get to cluck your tongues as if you knew, and as if you were better, not worse. We are Rome (again, metaphor, look it up troglodytes.)

[Lisa]

With all the freebies they got, why didn't someone offer some free marriage counseling? They say they are doing this "for the kids". I think both Jon and Kate are pretty self-centered and they have to learn to work together. What the heck does divorce teach kids????

[Lisa]

I believe that it was necessary to make their announcement on the show as this is their livelyhood. I'm sure when they realized they were going to have 8 kids to raise they were pretty panicked on how they were going to make ends meet. They received the opportunity to do the show and be home with the kids. I feel that these children have had some awesome opportunities that many children don't have. I can totally understand why they chose to do the show. They wanted to be hands on parents plus the excursions and vacations are an awesome benefit. Unfortunately it comes to the point that fans become obsessed and start to pry into their private lives. Jon & Kate just wanted to chronical their childrens lives and show others of the work involved in raising these 8 children. But, the parents started growing apart. This is common in any marriage. Marriage is HARD work. When one partner doesn't want to do the work to save the marriage then their is no choice but to divorce. Although the show conveyed Kate in a domineering way it also conveyed that Jon was too passive. Jon was aware of how Kate was before he married her. Kate is receiving too much flack for her ways. I believe that Jon truly loves his children but he's too immature to handle it and he wants to be out partying, riding his motorcycle, or driving nice cars. He really has become self absorbed. My heart broke for these two. I just wish them the best of luck in the future. I think the children are absolutly adorable and they seem very happy, content, and well behaved. Someone is doing their job right.

[Anonymous]

John and Kate are getting into the biggest mistake ever thinking that children will survive and be OK. Right now, they can't think past their noses and if the truth be known, they are only thinking of themselves not really their children. If they could look into a mirror and see the future of their children's heartache and misery, they would think twice about going through with it. Someone once said that divorce is child abuse. Their precious children will never be the same and will feel like their are living in a world they don't understand. And all this for what?? They have turned their attention to themselves and forgotten about the 8 little hearts they created together when they were in love. Hollywood and money have once again ruled and the marriage was destroyed and was the lives of these children. I will not be watching the destruction of their children's happiness as well as their own any longer unless they reach out for help.

[Mandy]

Speak for yourself. Coming from a family where my parents "stuck it out" for myself and my siblings, believe me if your parents are at each others throats all the time it's better to not be together. When my parents finally did get divorced after almost 23 years all of us were left thinking why didn't this happen sooner. Nothing is more stressful then being woken up at 3 am by your mother and father having it out. The only time we did have peace growing up is the few times they seperated. You either have a loving marriage and if you don't it may seem best to do it for the kids but it's anything but. I think they are doing the right thing because to just pretend everything is alright and your children are completely oblivious to the fact they aren't is not true. Kids can tell something is wring whetger you pretend or not.....

[tukang nggame]

Thanks you for information. that useful.

[Elizabeth]

There was nothing ever "refreshing" about Jon and Kate's caustic sniping at one another in front of their children. They are terrible parents who have belittled and humiliated their children over and over again. If Kate cared at all about her children she would not be on the cover of People magazine this week.

[Rick Garner]

What a difference a year makes. Just a year ago, Jon & Kate were enjoying family time at the beach with fireworks. After a year of media fireworks, what can you do for them today? http://tinyurl.com/q7vur5