'The Hills': Kelly Cutrone tears into Stephanie, Spencer gets 'caught'
Finally, someone who knows what we want! If we all know life is but a stage on the reality of "The Hills," at least Kelly Cutrone plays her part with some gusto. Oh, the kids around her are working equally hard to drum up the drama -- two words about next week's episode: couples' therapy! -- demonstrating that they can carry on their cues without Lauren. But only Cutrone makes us eager for more. To recap:
The top of the episode begins with some sibling rivalry because Spencer's drama means always having to feud with someone. Stephanie pays him a visit, and he tells her her hat makes her look like a train conductor. Stephanie retaliates by telling him Heidi's been hanging out with an ex-boyfriend in Colorado. Spencer says he’s going to start cruising for girls too.
Remember Lauren has a job at People's Revolution? She stops in just long enough to let boss woman Kelly tell her they need an intern to replace Whitney, who's gone on to bigger, better intern-like jobs in New York. Before Lauren can say a word, Kelly warns her to be careful whom she refers. Suddenly, I want to hit fast-forward for the next scene with Kelly and Lauren's sure-to-be referral, Stephanie.
But first, Lauren and Stephanie go out for food. Lauren’s really hungry, and Stephanie asks if Lauren feels pressure to stay thin in L.A. “That’s what baggy shirts are for,” she says. (Lauren tries to keep it real: her clothing line is full of baggy shirts and dresses.) Anyways, Lauren mentions a job opening. "How does one apply for People’s Revolution?" Stephanie wonders. “I’m sure 100 people want that job.” Lauren looks wary but says she can get Stephanie an interview.
Spencer arrives home to find Heidi back from Colorado. Right on cue, they start to argue. Spencer says there’s a double standard: He can’t do shots with the pretty bartender, but Heidi can have dinner with her ex. Heidi says there’s a big difference between getting surprised by an ex while having dinner with her family and flirting with the bartender. She asks if he saw the bartender while she was gone. He lies and says no.
Back at People's Revolution, the episode's winning scene: Stephanie arrives and tells Lauren she was up all night fixing her resume. Kelly didn’t shower but is pleased that Stephanie did. "You look professional," she says. She also doesn’t read resumes but reads Stephanie’s because she brought it and also so Stephanie can pipe up that her “final objective in life is to have a handbag line.” Kelly, who has been bemused since this episode started, God bless her, pounces on Stephanie's misstep, telling her future unpaid worker, “So you basically want to use my experience and my clients and my inside knowledge to ultimately leave here and make your own handbags?” Stephanie takes it back. Kelly asks if Stephanie knows how to make labels, speak French and refrain from crying in the office. Stephanie says she'll learn.
Later that night, Spencer and his friend Charlie, who looks like he’s nearing 40 and might have a bit part on “My Name Is Earl“ in his future, are driving around, looking for trouble. Stephanie and Heidi are in Glendale eating sushi. Stephanie decides it's a good idea for them to check in on Spencer's boys' night out. She suspects the boys might be at recently opened nightclub H.Wood. Happily, she was correct. Spencer is there with Stacie the bartender and and they're doing shots. Heidi rolls up and drops the F-bombs. Bar fight No. 2 is on. Stephanie jumps in and loudly tells Heidi that Stacie looks like a slut. Stacie says Stephanie looks like a dog because she’s wearing fur. Heidi tells Spencer it's over. Spencer feigns shock.
The next morning, at Stephanie’s apartment, Stephanie suggest Heidi and Spender enroll in couples' therapy. It was just a few months ago that they got pretend married in Mexico, after all. Heidi thinks that might not be a good idea, but I'm already excited to see Speidi act up inside a therapist's office.
Post-interview, Kelly wants to talk to Lauren about Stephanie. Kelly is scared of hiring Stephanie but says her inclination is to let her try because “the interview was such a folly that she could be genius.” Oh, and if Stephanie makes Kelly mad, Lauren gets to fire her.
Spencer and Heidi meet for food. Heidi suggests therapy. Spencer thinks it’s ridiculous. Heidi tells him it's therapy or nothing and leaves.
There you have it, two very good reasons to keep tuning in to "The Hills": Therapy for Speidi and Lauren firing Stephanie. If you watched the preview for next week, you also saw the return of Justin Bobby, which is another good reason, and sparks flying between Brody and Audrina, which is not.
What do you think? Should Kelly Cutrone be added to the opening credits? Has Stephanie earned her spot in a "Hills" spin-off? Did you notice Lauren was barely in the episode? Are you excited to see who's been cast as Spencer and Heidi's therapist? Can she hold a candle to Gabriel Byrne? Can anyone? Sound off below.
-- Denise Martin